[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

text | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

holy fucking shit I go from mostly aunts to mostly uncles thanks to some fucking moogles??

[asipofbride]

well fuck that's a new one
hey there junior how's things hangin

voice; un: shadeshift

[sunforging]

...Preeeeeetty bindin'. Lot've weddings get overseen by those lot back home.

voice; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

Seriously? Even if we didn't ask them to?

Action;

[bebest]

[Yeah you know, Zulius is just gonna teleport right the fuck here. This is an EMERGENCY and needs to be treated as such. So here he comes, not there one minute, there the next.]

HOLY FUCK, NICK!!! You guys did it TOO?!! [Oh is he...mad? He looks pretty mad actually.] Why are my friends getting married by those weird little rat bears instead of having an actual flunking wedding?!! I'm SO GOOD at parties and you guys are killing me here. You're literally killing me.

action;

[asipofbride]

[ hopefully he arrives in a shower of sparklies and glitter. he can add to the mess that's already on the floor.

Wolfwood blinks up at Zulius rather politely, bringing his second cigarette up to his mouth as he takes a drag off of both of them at the same time. ] I would like to state that I did not do anything. It was done to me. I'd have loved to have-- [ a pause.

two cigarettes one inhale again. ]

... I don't know what goes into getting married. I never thought I'd make it that far.

[doubledollar]

[ vash is making his way back, looking disheveled and maybe with a few feathers still poking out of his coat from where he frantically flew after the moogles to no avail... ]

I wanted a party.

I want a party.

text: un: Kore

[aslowburn]

...

You weren't already married?

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

no??

like it doesn't bother me that much but vash and dante would rather eat their own hands before uhhh
admitting
committing

text: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

oh
did we give that vibe

text, un: devilhunter.

[advivo]

[ okay, he's off the floor now and sitting on the couch. he's... it's fine, everything is fine nothing is wrong at all. ]

perse do i look like the marrying kind of guy??

action

[ornamentals]

[having been the one to open the door, kni is also dealing with the consequences of his actions.

he should have slammed the door shut, why did he ever listen to vash--]

Is... is this permanent?

[asipofbride]

[ you're basically the best man, Kni, good job ]

I think so.

There's a line about 'til death do you part' that I have a vague recollection about regardin'... nuptials.

text: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

cvoulnt catchm
thy fly rlly rll y fast
and cast sparkly magic in my face
i couldnt see
i crashed outta the air

theyre gone

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

well.
shit.

i'm outta ideas.

text | un: kni

[ornamentals]

how could you let it go??

un: ecraig | text

[fiddlestick]

Oh god they're at it again.

I'm sorry to say, but they're VERY legally binding.

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

whaddya mean again
are they just runnin around marrying people rogue
does that have implications

like it's not the worst thing that's ever been done to me against my particular desires but
i dunno
i dunno?

UN: hikari-vi | text

[whiteshroud]

Congrats on no longer living in sin?

But why is Dante upset?

[HELP HE DOESN"T KNOW DANTE IS ALSO INVOVLED WITH THEM]

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

i like living in sin sin's more fun

and whaddya mean why is Dante upset
man's emotionally constipated and barely commits to showing up on time let alone to
this

UN: makeitaventi

[venti_late]

[...Venti has to. He really. Really has to.]

Enjoy holy matrimony, kupo!

[asipofbride]

what does that mean

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

Congratulations? Or condolences?

I didn’t know three people could get legally married these days, I can think of so many marriages that might’ve gone along better if that were the case.

un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

two people in a marriage, in this economy?

idk back home sometimes a family was made up of like 5 people supportin each other bc it was easier that way

text | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

Trash??

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

huh
all of that and you care about the crap they threw on my floor
it's a bunch of sparkly and shiny thin crinkly paper it's garbage

action

[poisontippedcure]

[Hello?]

[HELLO?]

[Within the hour of the network post dropping, Rose is at the cottage. Sorry, Vash, she likes you too much to not congratulate you in person.]

I see the moogles have struck again. At least they did something good this time.

[doubledollar]

[ hi rose he loves you but this was way too sudden!!! he only just said the L word last month! help! ]

Don't those things know how to ask permission?

Voice, un: eve + Action for cottage

[playtag]

[Eve had rushed to the door when she heard the commotion, catching the tail-end of... whatever just happened.]

I missed it.

[She actually sounds disappointed. Noticeably so. Those in the cottage can see her dejected little frown as Eve sighs.]

I wanted to see a wedding.

text | un: kni

[ornamentals]

knowing vash there will definitely be a party.

[unfortunately...]

action;

[nominal]

( it's been said elsewhere that he hasn't been here long enough to really feel like he knows any of them, or that he's gotten all that comfortable with them to boot but if he had to say anything at all, the elder wolfwood is one that he would approach without much of a second thought at this point.

he plops down next to him and folds his legs into the criss-cross applesauce position, idly looking over at the balancing of the rings and then back to the man with the two cigarette problem. ) You gonna be okay, old man? Y'look like a stiff breeze could take you out no problem. ( little woo.

you are not helping. )

[asipofbride]

[ little woo you are not helping.

he flicks a sidelong look at the Woolet from under his sunglasses, mouth twisting in an unhappy line as he bites down on his initial desire to tell the kid to take a long hop off a short pier and go soak his head--it's not the baby woo's fault that the elder woo is feeling ten thousand kinds of weird

it's Kni's fault. he let the rats in. ]

Just tryin' to figure out what life is like from your perspective. Bein' so small wind can take me out an' all.