[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

[actnormal]

I always tell Noct when and where I'll be?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

Alone?

[This is the most dangerous question he has ever asked about Noctis.]

[actnormal]

Well, yeah. Noct's not that good at physical stuff and he's usually too busy anyway.

[heng_like_a_dragon]

...

And this has been going on since you were how old?

[actnormal]

I've been dumpster diving since I was in eighth grade? Really, Dan Heng, I was fine! I'm still fine!

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[It is now on sight with Noctis.]

I meant with you telling Noctis when and where you would be dumpster diving, but I suppose it doesn't matter in the end.

Just.

Let me know next time. My time is more flexible as a professor at Cygnus, so I can accompany you for a little while.

[actnormal]

Oh, since I started. I had to let someone know and it's not like my parents were home.

Are you sure?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

I'm sure. As long as I don't have class to teach or I'm not at the forge to force a certain blacksmith to not pass out from dehydration or low blood sugar.

[actnormal]

Does that happen a lot?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

Not anymore.

[Perhaps the most damning thing he's said about Blade.]

[actnormal]

[. . .

So Blade is whipped. Got it.]

So I do DoorDash

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[He sure the fuck is.]

I appreciate the offer, but I'll feel better if I can stay to make sure he eats it. He has a habit of putting food off if I don't.

[actnormal]

No I meant if you need food quickly just let me know and I can pick it up. I'm used to Kaisou traffic and know how to go fast without breaking the speed limit （≧ｙ≦＊）

[Raccoon man drives like a madman. Of course he does.]

[heng_like_a_dragon]

Ah. Then I appreciate that.

[Wisely, Dan Heng will not tell Caleb that he used to live in Boston where the speed limit is a suggestion. Caleb does not need to get ideas like that into his head.]

un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

i gave up trying to stop him years ago. best i can do is remind him not to pick up the dangerous stuff.