kaisou | [sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i'm worried about it! i don't like contracts i didn't sit readin for an hour beforehand

what am i legally bound to do
other than vash and dante
fuck
i hate god so much we're gonna have words when i kick the bucket at 40

You might have sold your left sock for the next month to the Moogles, but there's nothing horrible in there. You're just now legally married with all the rights and privileges that entails!

I mean. You're legally bound to love and to cherish through sickness and in death your lawfully wedded husbands. You may now kiss the husbands.

jokes on them i don't wear socks they make my feet itch
i dunno back home people tended to hop and broom and maybe file somethin local and when your spouse pissed you off you ran em off with a gun it's all a lot more formal here

i'll kiss the husbands when they both stop panic spiraling
dante is still on the floor
vash went after the fuckers

ok boomer

omg
The commitment fears got to them. I'm so sorry.
...Maybe distract them with food?

why do you people keep sayin that shit to me when im genuinely trying to figure out how things work in your stupid ass world with its abundant food and water and not robbing people and leaving them to die in deserts

neither of them do commitment.
i dunno if anyone's got the stomach for food.

Oh, you poor soul, nobody told you about the deeply unfunny baby boomer jokes?
We gotta do a deep dive at some point.

Hm.
Hang on a sec.

[Venti will make the rest of this conversation private since this is a serious topic.]

Joking and memes aside, you doing alright?
Or is it just shock rn?

no? they just say it to me like i come from this planet

[ oh. right. privacy filter. that's a thing that exists. every part of Wolfwood is failing to prioritize any particular emotion, so thank fuck someone else has their stuff together. ]

i don't think it bothers me
i just take things as they are when theyre in front of me
but vash and dante have a long history of broken promises and the consequences for that in their rearview
not that i don't, i just got over it because i had to keep going no matter what came up next
i care about them a lot

Oh, you're in for an adventure.

That makes sense!
You're just at a different growth point.
Well, neither of them have run out of the house screaming, so that's a good sign.
I think that means they can at least sit down and talk about it, even if it's awkward/uncomfortable.
I don't know what your current situation looks like right now in regards to the marriage and commitment situation, but it's definitely worth a talk about expectations and generally how everyone wants to move forward.
It'll be a lot of work, I'm sure you're well aware of that. But you also love them enough to want to see them flourish and not become stagnant, right?

i do not like that adventure is in tilty text
that is never a good thing

and to be fair vash went out of the window screaming but he was trying to catch up to the rats to do
something
i dunno, not much time to make a plan or figure out what was happening on all things considered
i never thought i'd have to think about marriage given the nature of my work
do things need to change? i don't think i want anything to change
we're comfortable. they're idiots, but they're my idiots and we're all kinda messed up but i want them to be happy at the end of the day
... yeah. i love them. i love them a lot.
i want them to have the best of everything
i want life to be kind to them. for them. with them.

Oh, Vash. That sounds right, though.
I dunno, I can't answer that for you. It's up to the three of you if there's anything you need or want to change!
I think if you're happy and it's not causing anyone harm, it's not a bad thing to want it to stay the same.
Or if you just want a word to change.
God knows my partner is the same way. He's slow to change on the best of days, but he prefers things to stay the same.
We didn't label our relationship for a long time, which had its pros and cons.
But if that's what you want for them, and the know that's what you want for them, then I think you guys will be just fine!
And you guys have a lotta people who're willing to help support you if things get hard for whatever reason, too!

[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

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