[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

[advivo]

That you know of.

[ dante is just gonna stretch over and yank wolfwood into his lap, one hand snaking around his middle while the other snaps his fingers to produce a flame on his middle finger. ] Here. [ yes, he is going to enable this because he is also feeling it right now. ]

[asipofbride]

You regenerate too fast to get addicted, asshole.

[ he yelps as he's moved from one chair to the other, only squirming a little in protest until he gives up and allows himself to be a limpet in Dante's lap, grumbling as the half-devil lights his third cigarette.

he will, grudgingly, give one of the older cigarettes over. ]

[advivo]

Nah, I can still get addicted to shit. I just don't get the downsides of the addiction.

[ like the bad lungs etc.

thanks for not really trying to squirm out of his lap, nick, he really appreciates it. especially because he is going to more or less bury his face against the side of wolfwood's neck, happily taking the older cigarette from him. ]

Anyway, maybe we stop putting our sex lives on blast for the whole app to see? Then we can figure out the whole... marriage thing.

[asipofbride]

Lucky you.

[ if Wolfwood was feeling spiteful he'd take a breath and try to make it as raggedy as possible, but thankfully he's just feeling
weird and floaty
somewhere between happy and anxious, leaning into Dante as the man curls around him, running the fingers of his free hand through his hair with a soft sigh ]

Look. It ain't exactly top secret intelligence, chief. We're hardly the only people doin' stuff in the privacy of our own homes.

And other places but people really don't gotta know that.

[ lower, so the kids can't hear. ]

[advivo]

Depends on the day.

[ it's a feeling that dante honestly shares. that weird mix between anxious and happy, the desire to bury himself deep in a pile of blankets so the rest of the app doesn't have to see how utterly useless he is with this kind of stuff. wolfwood's fingers in his hair seems to help, anchoring him down before the anxiety has a chance to take root. ]

Lots of other places.

[ dante hums, turning his head to take a long drag of the cigarette. ]

For the record, I don't think it's not going to change anything for us.

[asipofbride]

Missin' it today?

[ he's gonna continue to stroke his fingers through Dante's hair, rubbing at his scalp and just sort of... allowing himself to be a little boneless. a little heavy, a little tired; he's carrying something and he's tensed up like it's too much to carry but really, he's just not sure? it's a sensible burden. a manageable one, with Vash and Dante

but if they aren't there it'll weigh so hard down on his shoulders he won't know how he'll manage to walk on ]

I hope not, but. I know how you an' Spikey feel. The things none of us really say because they just are.

[advivo]

A little.

[ he's content to let wolfwood continue stroke his fingers through his hair, leaning into the touch as he breathes out. there is a part of him that would like to do nothing more than drink himself stupid and forget all of this ever happened, but another part of him... doesn't. despite everything he doesn't hate this, the thought of something even a little more official then the rings they've been wearing for months now binding them together.

dante takes another drag, letting the smoke sit in his lungs into they burn, exhaling out into the air in front of them. ]

If I'm being honest I thought I'd be dead long before I ever got to this point with anyone. [ it's spoken quieter, as to not draw the attention of the kids. ] Didn't consider myself husband material, let alone partner material. That was until you and Vash proved me wrong.

[asipofbride]

Sucks to suck.

[ Slappy has your fancy rings so jot that down. nobody has attempted to reclaim them from him yet and that's gonna set a dangerous precendent. Wolfwood continues to not think about it, closing his eyes and listening to the fall of Dante's breath, the thud of his heartbeat against his shoulder, eyes slitting open to watch the smoke curl towards the ceiling in a slow, silver ribbon.

he cuts his gaze to Dante when the other man speaks in depth, giving a little hmn of his own. ]

I'm not different. [ he mumbles, quiet and private, flicking the ash from his cigarette again. ] They made me a monster and chunked my lifespan. As somebody else's gun--a hitman for a genocidal lunatic--I figured it'd be a shallow grave in a worm's belly. This wasn't... possible for me. Would never be possible for me.

And now it's been thrown at my face by some shitty pom-pom bears with stupid little wings.

[advivo]

[ you know what? slappy deserves some enrichment, let him play with moogle rings for a while longer. dante prefers the enchanted rings that he had made for them anyway, something about those incredibly round and chunky looking things really doesn't do it for him. his heartbeat is steady against him at the very least, his body slowly becoming boneless the longer wolfwood threads his fingers through his hair.

dante flicks ash from his own cigarette, sparing it a brief look. ]

Before this place... I was planning on taking down my dumbass brother and going down with him. Wrote a will and everything. So I get it, I really get it. It's why those little rat bastards threw me so hard, hah. [ his gaze moves to wolfwood, head tilting as he warm smile finds his face. ] Can't say I hate the idea though, being stuck with two people I love.

Vash seems bummed he didn't get to have a party though.