purpurabellatorWHO: It's just you and Joseph, baby. Unless he ticks off some other patrons.
WHERE: A normally peaceful old diner uptown.
WHEN: The middle of the damn night.
WHAT: Joseph JUST got here and he is already in trouble.
WARNINGS: Scuffling and cussing, if a fight breaks out.
[New place. New objectives. New adventures, or something. First order of business? Food.
Joseph intentionally picks the shadiest looking restaurant he can find on short notice and strolls through the front door, seats himself, and waits to be approached by a server. Normal stuff. He takes it slow, asks to be given the most popular appetizer and a Coke for the time being.
Sure enough, this lady comes back and slides him some cole slaw. It's the most wretched slop he's ever seen in his life. The server receives a low chuckle, a handsome smile, and a charming wink; he sends her off with a thank you and proceeds to stick his spoon into the dish with a kind of caution that suggests he thinks it's going to explode or something.]
What the hell. Hahaha.
[His attention suddenly snaps up towards the front counter, where people normally line up to hand their payment to the host or hostess.
There's one of those "take a penny, leave a penny" things on it.
He could definitely land a spoonful of this sludge in there with his unparalleled master aim. A spontaneous test of his precision.
So, naturally, he scoops out a bite's worth, turns the spoon towards himself, bends it backward with a thumb, and catapults the cole slaw from Hell in a brilliantly wide arch halfway across the restaurant. It's going to meet its mark, for sure. Definitely.
Or, it would, were it not for the unfortunate bastard walking in and directly through the path of the flying slaw.
It hits someone. If you're already sitting down, maybe it hits some rando who just walked in. But if your timing is shit, you get a fun little cole slaw surprise in your face. Maybe your hair? Maybe your shirt. The possibilities are endless!]
Oh—shit. Shit shit shit.
[Joseph's eyes blow wide and he instantly turns his head to look out the window as to act like he was not directly responsible for what he just did.]