[Network Post] Spring's Here!

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: April 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[Wherever you are, your phone will start to ring and vibrate. It doesn’t matter if your phone was off or on mute - it will ring anyway. Checking the phone, you'll see the Libra app has opened itself and will not close until you read and response to a new post from Zodiac.]

Hello! Thank you for using the Libra App!

On behalf of Zodiac, we'd like to say we're truly relieved that everyone was able to return from the Fae. Thank you to everyone who assisted in the rescue. Unfortunately, our attempts to negotiate with the Fae leadership to have them undo any curses that were cast failed, and our negotiator was turned into a donkey. But don't worry! Ed is learning to manage and thrive with his condition, so there's no reason you can't either!

But that's not all! Thanks to a great deal of research, we've been able to develop an app feature that'll allow your phones to keep track of the time differences in both Kaisou and any Spirit Realm you go. No more worrying about how much time you're missing! And for those of you new to magic and looking to learn more, the Enki Education Center will be having their grand opening this month! Enroll in classes today!

Finally, we have been looking into a report of an other worlder turning into a human and acting as if they're from this world. We believe the occurrence is connected to unusual activity from the Spirit Vein, though this is an extremely unusual case and there's a lot of unanswered questions. However, while we'll continue to investigate this matter and find ways to reverse it, based on the subject's prior psychological profile developed by our seer division ... we at Zodiac have decided this particular subject will be happier remaining as they are now. Much, much happier.

That's all from us for now! Time to end on an ever popular icebreaker question!



This post has been sponsored by Amat Hot Springs Resort! Feel like life is choking you? Come relax with us.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone. There's also a new feature on the app: a time page that shares the time in Kaisou as well as another clock that'll appear in the Spirit Realm and reflect the time of any realm you're in. Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac.

OOC Note: To avoid overloading players, the group chat updates will be skipped until next Friday (April 8th)!]

Comments

text, un: Mariposa

[nonmagical]

How do you expect me to thrive when I look like a dog?!

UN: ecraig

[fiddlestick]

Aw, I don't think you look bad!

[Gotta be reassuring to students ok]

un: n-jima

[evoked]

Dogs can be pretty cute.

un: why; text

[missingache]

Dogs are cute, and if anything, you could just tell people you're a furry if they ask.

text; un: Litania

[chatterboxing]

A:
[LIBRA CAN YOU PLEASE NOT, SHE'S IN CLASS.

Since there's no way to make her phone behave without posting some kind of response to the post, Lita does the first—and quickest—thing she can think of:]

a

[If anybody responds to that, they won't be getting responses out of Lita until later.]

---

B:
[Sometime later after she's gotten back to her dorm room, she actually reads the post for real.]

this post is raising almost as many questions as the last one and i don't like it

un: ecraig

[fiddlestick]

You're not the only one.

B | UN: AbsoluteZero

[tyrantrevelio]

It's raising hundreds of questions that I know I'm not going to like the answer to.

This feels like an elaborate prank. Even if it's not.

text, un: Psystrike

[madebyhumans]

It is possible to turn human here?

[That sounds like... Mewtwo's worst nightmare.]

That is distressing to hear. Is there anything we can do to prevent something like that from happening again?

text; un: Astral — takes place before her own 4/1 post

[bxbxbxbx]

[When Katida's phone starts going off, she's in the middle of study hall, and she was sure that she had it on silent. Jun had warned her that the app would get annoying at the start of the month; maybe this was was he meant.

The students in this particular study hall period are often left to their own devices as long as they aren't doing anything too disruptive, so she's really only just given a look, and the noise her phone is making fortunately does stop once she's actually paying attention to the device.

With the post up and seemingly insistent on being read and responded to, she looks it over a few times.]

Gonna be honest: a lot of this is still going WAY over my head. [She gets that Weird Stuff Will Just Happen Now and she's already seen a few seemingly-minor things, but that's still generally the extent of it.]

un: singcho

[feiyun]

First time, hm?

un: hikari-vi

[whiteshroud]

[Well that's all a lot of troubling information to bring in]

Since when did this town have hot springs?

[evoked]

I want to go.

un: n-jima

[evoked]

I've won twenty-three eating competitions.

un: restinglichface

[restinglichface]

why not 24?

un: miyako

[bingos]

I have a partner Digimon named Hawkmon. He's the best! 💕💕

[ She includes a terrible screenshot of them from an old video on her phone for good measure. ]

I wouldn't usually call it interesting, but as far as I can tell Digimon don't exist in this world.

un: why; text

[missingache]

We got to catch these things called Pokemon a while back. They didn't exist before then.

[That picture looks like a photobomb... which is kinda cute.]

video | un: deadpeopletea

[four_quarts]

...Of course you have a seer division looking into our lives. Of course you do.

[A deep, tired sigh.]

I certainly hope you're paying their therapy bills, and perhaps even take a bit of warning from what they've seen.

[A pause.]

Regardless, I'll use the time to mention that I'm now willing, for a price, to brew potions and grow unusual plants for people. Given current and likely future magical mishaps, I imagine some of you would prefer an option other than a massive corporation.

un: ecraig

[fiddlestick]

You know how to brew potions?

text; un: __tsukasa__

[wavemastery]

If you throw a weapon into the hot springs, will you get a neat item?

[Thanks for the weird memory, Zodiac!]

UN: ecraig

[fiddlestick]

Do not throw a weapon into the hot springs!

[WHY WOULD YOU EVEN-]

[video] un: restinglichface

[restinglichface]

[it's all good for lup who was already lazily browsing on her phone anyway. the elf is sprawled out on her belly when her video goes live, legs kicking in the air behind her.]

Pretty much every fact about me is totes interesting, but if I gotta just pick just oooone - [her head tips back and forth, thoughtfully considering before -] I'm probs the dopest chef you'll ever meet. Two hundred years of experience, homie.

un: n-jima

[evoked]

I'd like to try that out.

[ The void stomach has heard this. ]

UN: ecraig

[fiddlestick]

Is it just me, or are they a little too nonchalant about people turning into donkeys?

un: n-jima

[evoked]

Maybe being a donkey is like being a cat: a superior way of living.

text | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

does anyone actually give a fuck about the icebreaker question bullshit?

UN: hikari-vi

[whiteshroud]

Nope.

Want to go to the hot springs this weekend?

video | un: fashonti

[thaumewturge]

[One frazzled catgirl on the post!]

Hi, yes, hello, ah, rather important question for whoever can perhaps answer this since Twelve knows you don't answer any other attempts to contact you. But, ah--

[Rhel pans her phone to show the Gold Saucer just chilling out in the Entertainment District.

And then, in Rhel's usually polite, fairly calm voice (that is very much not calm right now):]

How the bloody hells did you bastards get the swivin' Gold Saucer here? That ought to be in Thanalan, not here of all the godsdamned places! How! And all of these addled locals tellin' me it's always been here? No. No. How is this possible.

[Congratulations Zodiac, you guys got the catte to break out the swearing.]

un: reallyfarflung; video

[areyuuserious]

What is that place?

[They're squinting a bit.]

But ah.... Well, wouldn't be the first time something not from around here showed up and got treated by the locals like they've always been around.

video; un: undecided

[camaleonico]

"Thriving" might be a bit of an overstatement, just saying... But I have questions about this person who thinks they're from this world when they're actually not. I know someone else like this. I need to know more.

video, un: Psystrike

[madebyhumans]

The one that is supposedly "happier" here? I wish to know more about this as well. Apparently it's connected to a "Spirit Vein"?

text; un: bewitching

[hexposition]

Thank you for getting my phone taken away during class, Zodiac! Greatly appreciated!

And of course I get it back to read a series of words that should absolutely not be played off half as lightly as it is. I see it's going to take a lot more than baleful polymorphs to throw them off the scent of ill-begotten cash.

I may check out the education center, though... it would be interesting to see what insights they have.

As for this month's "icebreaker," I suppose an interesting fact is that I have faerie wings now. Sometimes. I'm working on being able to control them, but it's slow-going.

They frighten poor Phoebe and my grandmother has yet to stop laughing at me...

text; un: riftdancer

[thavnairian]

you too, huh?

i'm lucky though, i don't mind them at all. they're the same color as my friend's. maybe they'll stop joking about turning me into a hedge now

UN: ZW🌹 | Text

[wilder]

You know, it's pretty fitting that a Zodiac employee would be turned into an ass.

un: c-z

[bolledivita]

lmfao a+

Un: Napstablook22

[soundtest]

oh an interesting fact about myself...

i guess i've always been able to see the dead?

i'm sorry i don't know if that's interesting...

un: singcho

[feiyun]

Is that so? What sort of dead have you seen? Dead corpses or ghosts?

UN: AbsoluteZero | Text

[tyrantrevelio]

Maybe next time respect the fact that my phone is off during work hours. And that there's a reason for that: I'm a chef at a restaurant, and I'm constantly busy. There's your icebreaker while you're at it.

I do not like the implications of any of these things. Either from Zodiac or what's otherwise going on with these 'transformation' things, or the fae, or whatever. Suppose it's too much to ask to just be left alone.