[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

[doubledollar]

u mean when people throw out like perfectly good books or furniture on the side of the road

i pick that stuff up all the time

[actnormal]

Yes! Exactly like that! I curbpick and dumpster dive all the time because people just throw good stuff out!

[doubledollar]

...Dumpsterdive?

[actnormal]

Where you find dumpsters where people have tossed out perfectly good stuff!

[doubledollar]

PEOPLE DO THAT?

WHY??

[actnormal]

I DON'T KNOW it's SO stupid!

[doubledollar]

im starting to get the idea that when people hav abundance theyre wasteful
wouldnt be caught dead throwin that stuff out on my home planet

[actnormal]

Home planet???

[doubledollar]

oh
yah
your name is new on the app huh
some people are like me, we arent from this place
we got spit out of that broken spirit vein thing
magic stuff, idk it fully
im from a desert planet called nomans land hi hi

[actnormal]

Seriously?! ✿♥‿♥✿ That's so cool! I know my past life visited a lot of different planets, but this life I'm just a normal earth guy.

[doubledollar]

Hehe!!!

well
this might only be the second planet ive ever really been to, but maybe the gates count...?

u might not go space-travelling in the like
rocket blastin across space sense but

im sure u will get PLENTY of chances to visit other worlds inside this one

UN: jingnyan

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[Unluckily for Caleb, Dan Heng has Jing Yuan's phone right now.]

No.

Stop that.

[actnormal]

Stop what, General?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

It's Dan Heng right now. Jing Yuan is letting me borrow his phone.

Stop dumpster diving before you get hurt. Or sick.

[Granted, Caleb might have an immune system that's horrifyingly robust.]

[actnormal]

Oh, sorry.

I've been doing it since I was in eighth grade. I've only gotten hurt twice.

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[HELLO?!]

Caleb.

That makes it worse.

If you're not going to stop, then stop doing it alone from now on. Just in case you get stuck or seriously hurt. Okay?

[actnormal]

I'll take my Pokemon with me, don't worry.

Why does that make it worse, though?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

Because you were most likely alone and injured. What if you couldn't get out? Or if you had been rendered unconscious?

And that's not even touching on random strangers happening upon you.

[actnormal]

I always tell Noct when and where I'll be?

[heng_like_a_dragon]

Alone?

[This is the most dangerous question he has ever asked about Noctis.]

[actnormal]

Well, yeah. Noct's not that good at physical stuff and he's usually too busy anyway.

[heng_like_a_dragon]

...

And this has been going on since you were how old?

[actnormal]

I've been dumpster diving since I was in eighth grade? Really, Dan Heng, I was fine! I'm still fine!

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[It is now on sight with Noctis.]

I meant with you telling Noctis when and where you would be dumpster diving, but I suppose it doesn't matter in the end.

Just.

Let me know next time. My time is more flexible as a professor at Cygnus, so I can accompany you for a little while.

un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

i gave up trying to stop him years ago. best i can do is remind him not to pick up the dangerous stuff.