[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

text | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

holy fucking shit I go from mostly aunts to mostly uncles thanks to some fucking moogles??

voice; un: shadeshift

[sunforging]

...Preeeeeetty bindin'. Lot've weddings get overseen by those lot back home.

Action;

[bebest]

[Yeah you know, Zulius is just gonna teleport right the fuck here. This is an EMERGENCY and needs to be treated as such. So here he comes, not there one minute, there the next.]

HOLY FUCK, NICK!!! You guys did it TOO?!! [Oh is he...mad? He looks pretty mad actually.] Why are my friends getting married by those weird little rat bears instead of having an actual flunking wedding?!! I'm SO GOOD at parties and you guys are killing me here. You're literally killing me.

text: un: Kore

[aslowburn]

...

You weren't already married?

action

[ornamentals]

[having been the one to open the door, kni is also dealing with the consequences of his actions.

he should have slammed the door shut, why did he ever listen to vash--]

Is... is this permanent?

text: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

cvoulnt catchm
thy fly rlly rll y fast
and cast sparkly magic in my face
i couldnt see
i crashed outta the air

theyre gone

un: ecraig | text

[fiddlestick]

Oh god they're at it again.

I'm sorry to say, but they're VERY legally binding.

[asipofbride]

well fuck that's a new one
hey there junior how's things hangin

voice; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

Seriously? Even if we didn't ask them to?

action;

[asipofbride]

[ hopefully he arrives in a shower of sparklies and glitter. he can add to the mess that's already on the floor.

Wolfwood blinks up at Zulius rather politely, bringing his second cigarette up to his mouth as he takes a drag off of both of them at the same time. ] I would like to state that I did not do anything. It was done to me. I'd have loved to have-- [ a pause.

two cigarettes one inhale again. ]

... I don't know what goes into getting married. I never thought I'd make it that far.

[sunforging]

Bit new for them to just spring up an' marry any ol' people they come across without warnin', but they're proper ordained under the Twelve so far's I know.

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

no??

like it doesn't bother me that much but vash and dante would rather eat their own hands before uhhh
admitting
committing

[asipofbride]

Is. Is that all you need to marry someone? Some number's go ahead? You can have a religion based off numbers?

[asipofbride]

[ you're basically the best man, Kni, good job ]

I think so.

There's a line about 'til death do you part' that I have a vague recollection about regardin'... nuptials.

[sunforging]

Wh--huh? No? The Twelve, like...th' whole pantheon, not just a number picked outta a hat.

[drewthetower]

I'm like your age, tio.

also Easter's at the end of the month, my aunts + mom are gonna wanna meet you guys

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

well.
shit.

i'm outta ideas.

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

whaddya mean again
are they just runnin around marrying people rogue
does that have implications

like it's not the worst thing that's ever been done to me against my particular desires but
i dunno
i dunno?

[asipofbride]

yeah but dante's ancient so i add his age to mine in terms of seniority
i think? i've never had uhhh. family before

what is Easter
do i have to wear pants and not smoke

[asipofbride]

... like? More than one god? What do you need more than one for? Just the one sucks enough as it is.

And they give rats the power to marry people without their input? What the hell are your gods into?

UN: hikari-vi | text

[whiteshroud]

Congrats on no longer living in sin?

But why is Dante upset?

[HELP HE DOESN"T KNOW DANTE IS ALSO INVOVLED WITH THEM]

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

i like living in sin sin's more fun

and whaddya mean why is Dante upset
man's emotionally constipated and barely commits to showing up on time let alone to
this

[ornamentals]

[he doesn't want this!]

This isn't my fault.

[establishing that now, thank you.]

Don't weddings happen inside a church?

[ not here ]

[doubledollar]

[ oh no he forgot to tell Jun ]

[sunforging]

Weeeeeee....might not have any, anymore? Proper long story, that. But as to th' moogles, they're kind of their own...thing? I ain't never understood what logic they're runnin' on, but they still run proper marriages and all.