video \\ un: noxxed

[sassery]

WHO: August, Nox, and the network
WHERE: August's backyard
WHEN: After the wonderful hideous and amazing regret that is the IC Smash or Pass
WHAT: These two idiots have a statement to make.
WARNINGS: n/a other than potential "why are you like this.jpg"

[There is a sound of flapping as the camera…is about eight or nine feet above the ground?]

Caw!

Yeah, that's fine. You can turn it around now, Julian.

[The camera is turned around, showing August and Nox.

Or. Well. You'd only know it's August and Nox if you know what their demon forms look like. August's is a seven foot tall bird-like creature, with white feathers in a crown around his head, wings, and clawed feet- while Nox towers over him by another foot easily, completely in red and teal, with extremely long white bishounen hair and vibrant blue see-through wings.]

You're too fucking tall.

[That just gets a grin from Nox, who puts his elbow on August’s head, raising the other arm in a shrug. Both of their voices are dual-toned, something that comes with a demonic form.] Can’t blame me for the family genes, August.

Yes I can. [As he tries to elbow Nox in the gut.]

Wh- HEY! [RUDE, WOW, he takes that jab and drops his elbow in a jest of actually being hurt there. He’s fine.]

Caw!

Yeah, yeah. [He looks to Nox and then gestures to the camera.] You ask, because I won't.

What, seriously? Cold feet all of the sudden? [That grin is entirely too shitposter to be anything else.]

This was your idea, Miller. Some of us know how this is going to go.

[That gets a scoff and an eyeroll, but Nox doesn’t ask a question. He just talks instead.] So yeah, this guy here had a post ages ago asking the same question, and apparently he’s too chicken to do it now. [A shrug!]

That's demon-ist. Just because I'm a bird.

Oh my god, August, that’s not even a fucking word!! [Still, Nox is laughing at this entire thing.] Basically, people called him a furry ages ago. So the question now is… what does that make me?

Before anyone starts: I am a cryptid and anyone who wants to fuck me is a cryptidfucker. Not a goddamn furry.

You think anyone’s gonna care about the actual name??? Anyway.

[A Look because he's not going to say "yeah actually my boyfriend" but. Yeah actually, his boyfriend.] I'm just saying, do you see any fur on me? No? Okay then, you fuckin' scalie.

Please, there are a lot more scaliefuckers than there are cryptidfuckers, you’ll get to keep your sanity and your pride, Big Bird.

Dude. Tell me you're not online without telling me you're not online. It's fifty-fifty. Trust me.

[At that, Nox rolls his yellow eyes and holds back a laugh.] Sure, Jan. Point is, I’m a scalie, he’s a cryptid, we’re part-demon, and you’re more than welcome to keep calling August a furry.

Like hell they are!

[This will keep up as Julian just. Manages to turn the phone off before flying down.]

Comments

UN: hikari-vi

[whiteshroud]

I'm not sure about Nox, but August is a furry.

[drewthetower]

YOUR OPINION IS INVALD

[sassery]

FUCKING THANK YOU
SOMEONE HAS IT RIGHT

un: coffeelvr4ever

[robopriest]

^^^^^^^

[yuri_bird]

[The camera is pointing up at the ceiling, then slides to the floor with a thump. There's a muffled, "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, God, and the Holy fucking Ghost!" Yuri picks up his phone and he looks exasperated. Amused, maybe slightly flustered, but playfully exasperated.]

You're all furries, and I'm also a furry. Nightingale, how dare you. You're even hotter and how the hell is that fair? My poor heart can't take it.

[drewthetower]

Didn't you tell him to show you the other form?

[sassery]

[WELL, THAT ANSWERS THE FUCKING QUESTION OF YURI BEING A POTENTIAL MONSTERFUCKER. Nox lets out a whistle, too fucking amused.]

Look, this was a thing from my past life. Part demon, shitposter, devil hunter all in one. You're fucking sunk, Yuri.

[codenametesla]

The backfire keeps coming, huh? I'm... kinda sorry for you at this point? You okay and all that? Need to lay down?

[Okay she's shitting him a LITTLE at this point, which would not normally be her m.o. considering she doesn't know the dude, but this was TOO MUCH]

text; un: fern

[laminae]

what
what the flip's a furry?

[sassery]

basically its someone who likes animals to an absolute extreme
unhealthy extreme tbh
like they wanna become an animal themselves but stay anthropomorphic
they call themselves furries
sometimes kinnies too
its a weird culture but its definitely creative
and also fucking loaded with money

[codenametesla]

[Because somehow this is easier to comment on, don't ask]
Yeah, I think there's a more specific word for it than 'furry' but that does get the gist of it down, sorry.

And no, I won't inflict that knowledge on my internet search history, so I don't know what that word is.

[sassery]

first off
youre welcome
secondly if you want to keep your eyes from burning
spare your entire computer and dont look it up
thirdly you can thank yuri bc he gave me this idea

text; un: GoldenGuard

[cardinalrule]

THAT'S A LOT OF UNNECESSARY DEFENSIVE TERMINOLOGY. WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT YOU TWO ARE BEYOND HALF-DEMON? ARE HUMANS THIS FINICKY?

[drewthetower]

tbh this is mostly just Nox being a shit

[whiteshroud]

That's just how August is sometimes. He gets worked up like this sometimes.

[He says as he keeps calling August a furry on purpose]

[sassery]

part demon and half demon
but yeah
i mean people are curious so its a thing

un: c-z; text

[bolledivita]

i thought the furry question had been settled???

[sassery]

apparently not!
i think people keep giving him that label
i was just trying to help tbh

[He's lying and full of shit.]

un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

I hate that I've learned new terminology today for things I never needed to know about.

[hi i am from 2003 and also not Terminally Online]

[sassery]

oh shit really?
wait
what year was it for you back home?

voice; un: riftdancer

[thavnairian]

Girls, please. You're both beautiful!

Look at this. The wings! The feathers! The ridiculously-muscled arms! I might swoon and I'm not even a damsel in distress. Alas, one of you is taken and the other one is woefully uninterested. Still, if I were to be cradled gently in my hour of need by those demonic arms and wings, I would have a great day. Maybe I could even have a little throttling and manhandling as a treat.

[A beat.]

Also, August is a furry.

[drewthetower]

[CHOKING ON AIR]

Fuckin--

un: coffeelvr4ever

[robopriest]

lol who invited us all to the furry convention

[drewthetower]

fuck I forgot Jun's priest is on here

text: un: trienemybest

[droptheious]

[What the holy fuck just then happened.]

...Was this supposed to be broadcast to literally everyone?

[sassery]

yep
absolutely

[Welcome to Nox's shitposting 101, it's hell.]

un: clovertales

[keyofelde]

[The point of this broadcast goes sailing way over Souta's head. (Thank goodness for the child filter.)]

[He's been hiding from demons all month, so the broadcast is a bit alarming at first. But he recognizes the voice under that distortion.]

August?

Is that you? Did you find a new cosplay group?

[Yeah, he still thinks that's what furries are. Adult cosplay.]

[drewthetower]

--yeah basically!

[CHILDREN WHY]

Text, un: Dynamight

[callmekacchan]

Thought we established you were a 'furry character' causing sexual awakenings in furries.

[Look. You knew how this went last time, August. Just saying. You should have anticipated this.]

And now you're not alone.
Congrats on unlocking your new fursona, old man.

[drewthetower]

cryptid! I will accept cryptid or even monster!