video | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

WHO: August
WHERE: The network
WHEN: June 22nd
WHAT: Visions!
WARNINGS: August swears

[Gooooooood afternoon, everyone on this accursed app it is time for your monthly August Gives Bad News! The video today opens on August, as usually, but this time he is not in his house.

He is...in a cave? And there's sand all in his hair and on his shirt? The fuck?]

Guess what time it is? That's right, we've got visions and tarot readings and for once it's pretty fucking straightforward! Shocking, I know. Anyway.

[He pulls the Star card from his deck and shakes off a little of the sand.]

Star, upright, a really good fucking card! It's all hope and the universe not actually fucking you over for once and holy shit do I love getting this card. This is a good card.

[A beat.]

Unfortunately, everyone else got giant fucking tentacles and drowning and shit so...be careful of the beach for now? Last time I checked there's nothing tentacle-y in the water but that means fuck all. [Another beat. More sand falls from his hair.] Honestly, whatever's tentacle-y will probably show up in that fucking duck pond.

[As he shuts it off, more sand falls from his hair and he can be heard muttering in Spanish:]

How the hell do you deal with the sand in your hair, Bruno, it's way curlier than--

Comments

video; un: Litania

[chatterboxing]

[Lita does not like hearing the words "drowning" and "duck pond" being spoken within seconds of each other.]

Oh, good, so we're prolly gonna have even more reason to avoid the park like the fuckin' plague.

[drewthetower]

Maybe! Given the park's track record, I'd say probably but hey. I'm a fortune teller not a psychic.

Video, un: WitchDagger

[begaydocrimes]

Wait tentacles? What tentacles? There’s tentacles in a pond somewhere?

[drewthetower]

First: are you new? Just so I know what I need to explain here.

video; un: teasweets

[lapislamine]

[Mercie, responding from a little break in swimsuit shopping, apparently.]

Oh, dear... It's unusual for the signs to be so contradictory, isn't it?

[drewthetower]

Not really. I do a reading for the whole damn city, and the others just get visions with no way to like, direct that shit. They see what they see.

Text, un: Dynamight

[callmekacchan]

[It had to be drowning. It just had to be water and fucking drowning didn't it? God fucking damnit.]

Of course we'd get eldritch horrors lurking in the water in summer.
When everyone is flocking to the nearest body of water.
Probably watch out at the pools too.
Can't rule out them suddenly spawning tentacle monsters out of nowhere when we're dealing with magic bullshit.

[drewthetower]

eh pools are probably fine, they're too small for anything.

hopefully if anything shows up it's just at the duck pond

text; un: fern

[laminae]

[This is a very unfortunate message for someone who:

1) Takes magical visions seriously;
2) Had a phobia of the ocean when he was slightly younger;
3) Is currently repressing the fact that he's half eldritch octopus.

So Fern is feeling pretty unnerved about mention of giant tentacles and drowning, though he can't fully explain why.]

dog that's crazy ominous
is the beach haunted? is there anything we can do?

[drewthetower]

[Whoops!]

it's not haunted and I don't think we could do anything even if it was. just be careful

Text; un: Koromaru

[whatsamada]

Then we'll be fully prepared to fight a giant octopus somewhere in the park.

[drewthetower]

Could just sic the goose on it.

Action;

[wedonttalkabout]

[Bruno's still just chilling in a corner, waiting for the sharp migraine that comes with the visions to die down to a dull roar. ]

The secret is that I don't. It's just there. Forever.

[drewthetower]

[Excuse him as he shakes all this sand out of his hair.]

Apparently baby powder helps with it. Not that I have any but. Y'know.

un: BlueOrchestra | Text

[fiddlestick]

Welp. Oh well. Not like I was a big fan of the beach anyway.

[Sure gonna skip this year!!]

[drewthetower]

I am cautiously optimistic but also not

video; un: signorvespa

[prontissimo]

[ Ah, and just as August had promised a few days ago when they first met, here is one of his clairvoyant warning posts...! Except, yeah, uh, no, it does not bode well... Not for Alberto, at least. ]

Wait, what's wrong with the water? Is there gonna be something else that's gonna try to drown people? Like that human ghost lady thing a while ago?

[ Normally he wouldn't care to know much of the future, but this seems... sorely relevant... ]

[drewthetower]

No clue! It could just be "hey be careful in the water you idiots" and next month will be very chill for all we know. Given my card, I don't think it's La Llorona or something.

un: hierophantcherry; video

[kokaiwanai]

... The Star, huh?

[Kakyoin looks contemplative.]

[drewthetower]

Yeeep. Thank fuck.

Video; UN: Rose

[nefilim]

Okay but like -

[ She has a cursed thought and now she needs to share it with everyone. ]

If it's tentacles in water, do we have to worry about them coming up through the fucking drains?

Video;

[wilder]

[In the background of Ana's video, there's Zelos getting a horrified look on his face]

ANAAAAAA! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?

Video; un: Opera_Ghost

[not_a_possum]

[And suddenly a very small but much more stereotypical image of a demon comes on the screen.]

And suddenly I don't mind the fact that I no longer have any swim trunks in my size.

[drewthetower]

[What.]

I can fix that--are you a demon?

video; un: bana-nice

[wildscreen]

...well, I suppose that's even more reason not to fight the goose.

[completely deadpan.]

[drewthetower]

Hey, if there's anything sketchy in the park I'm hoping the goose will fight it for us.

video | un: shipstowreck

[the_redventurer]

[Normally, this would be exciting news for Adol. However, given that his roommates definitely remember how he ended up here in the first place...]

...I'm definitely getting banned from going near water this month.

[wilder]

[in the background, after the very mature discussion with ana about drain tentacles]

You can go if you promise to let Ana get eaten by the tentacle monster like she deserves!

video; un: Astral (ota)

[bxbxbxbx]

[Kat starts up her video feed with the intent to respond, but pauses as the image of a giant tentacled jellyfish-like thing briefly dominates her thoughts, resulting in her just staring (almost as blankly as her constant companion, the dragon head on her head) into the camera for a few moments before she regains her focus and finally does respond.]

If anyone around here's planning on going to the beach or to go boating or whatever, maybe hold off on that for awhile, just to be safe.

[drewthetower]

Fuck. Did you see something?

video; UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

I probably shouldn't ask this, but how often are your readings correct?

I've fought things with tentacles before, and I would rather not to so again if I had the choice.

[drewthetower]

All the time. If I gave anyone on the app a three-card past/present/future reading right now, they would get the Star, upright in the future spot.