video | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

WHO: August
WHERE: The network
WHEN: June 22nd
WHAT: Visions!
WARNINGS: August swears

[Gooooooood afternoon, everyone on this accursed app it is time for your monthly August Gives Bad News! The video today opens on August, as usually, but this time he is not in his house.

He is...in a cave? And there's sand all in his hair and on his shirt? The fuck?]

Guess what time it is? That's right, we've got visions and tarot readings and for once it's pretty fucking straightforward! Shocking, I know. Anyway.

[He pulls the Star card from his deck and shakes off a little of the sand.]

Star, upright, a really good fucking card! It's all hope and the universe not actually fucking you over for once and holy shit do I love getting this card. This is a good card.

[A beat.]

Unfortunately, everyone else got giant fucking tentacles and drowning and shit so...be careful of the beach for now? Last time I checked there's nothing tentacle-y in the water but that means fuck all. [Another beat. More sand falls from his hair.] Honestly, whatever's tentacle-y will probably show up in that fucking duck pond.

[As he shuts it off, more sand falls from his hair and he can be heard muttering in Spanish:]

How the hell do you deal with the sand in your hair, Bruno, it's way curlier than--

Comments

video; un: teasweets

[lapislamine]

[Mercie, responding from a little break in swimsuit shopping, apparently.]

Oh, dear... It's unusual for the signs to be so contradictory, isn't it?

[drewthetower]

Not really. I do a reading for the whole damn city, and the others just get visions with no way to like, direct that shit. They see what they see.

[lapislamine]

I see... "Hope and good things" just seems so directly opposite drowning and tentacles, and it hasn't seemed that was in previous months.

Are you and the seers alright?

[drewthetower]

Arthur was freaked out and Bruno's...did you know his visions require fucking sand? Like, a lot of fucking sand.

[Guess why August is covered in sand!

Also Bruno's Bruno but he's not gonna say that.]

[lapislamine]

Baby powder helps dislodge sand from hair, if that will help.

[She...isn't sure what to do about the rest. Well, other than bake sweets. She is firmly of the mind that sweets can only help and already mentally putting together a little care package.]

[drewthetower]

Wait, seriously?

[lapislamine]

Yes. You can also use a blow dryer to get both sand and hair very dry, and blow the sand out with it, though that can be a bit messy and blow dryers aren't for everyone.

[drewthetower]

Worth a shot, geez. I haven't even been to the beach and I have too much sand everywhere...

[lapislamine]

The advantages of having long hair and a big family: home solutions for many things. If you don't have a blow dryer, you can borrow mine.

[drewthetower]

You don't mind? Mine's broke and I'm just too lazy to get a new one.

[lapislamine]

Not at all. Should I bring it to your place?

[drewthetower]

Sure, if you don't mind. Not right now, obviously, but later.