[NETWORK POST] Update!

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: February 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[Wherever you are, your phone will start to ring and vibrate. It doesn’t matter if your phone was off or on mute - it will ring anyway. Checking the phone, you'll see the Libra app has opened itself and will not close until you read and response to a new post from Zodiac]

Hello everyone! Happy Lunar New Year and we at Zodiac hope you've been well!

We've seen your engagement on the app this past month and we're impressed! Thanks to everyone who got involved in sorting out the situation in the Helheim gate. You all did some incredible work and we look forward to working with you in the future!

Now we understand you have a lot of questions. While there's many things we can't disclose at this time, we can clarify one thing. Everyone on this app has been flagged for abnormal spirit energy readings. We're still looking into what it means and the potential effects of it. All we really know right now is they're similar to the energy readings coming from our otherworldly guests.

We'll try to keep you updated as we learn more! In the meantime, let's end on anothe question to lighten the mood!


Sponsored by Deathmatch Wine & Spirits. Try our Comos Canyon mix today! Please drink responsibly.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone. Like last time, there'll be no responses from Zodiac]

Comments

Un: Horse

[crushtheskulls]

Oh do I have questions all right, don’t think you can get out of-

Wait.

I can read? I’m reading this right now? Could I always read?

UN: ZW🌹

[wilder]

You couldn't read before?

un: noxxed

[sassery]

...What?

[That's it, that's the entire post. Nox is very ??????????? about this, help.]

Un: Horse

[crushtheskulls]

I’ve never tried? Horses don’t really read books.

[wilder]

[.....]


Are you one of those furries that get way too into it? What're they called? Otherkin?

un: rschwarzer; i have to threadjack i can't help it

[motiv8]

No, she's not. I regret to inform you she is actually, literally, a horse.

un: rschwarzer

[motiv8]

I am so sorry in advance for everything you're going to wind up experiencing.

un: spiderlily

[higanbana]

wow thx for explaining ABSOLUTELY NOTHING zodiac!! super useful as always xoxo what would we do without u

anyway this month's question sucks less so i may as well:
- valentine's day proper: lmfao idfk anyone down for a hookup? i have nothing better to do
- discount candy day: STOCKIN UP FOR THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS hell yeahhhh

[wilder]

Uh huh.

Look I might not be from around here, but I think I need more proof than a rando on the internet insisting it's true. No offense.

Protecc the honse

[crushtheskulls]

I’m sorry… uh… what?

[motiv8]

Talk to Amal if you don't believe me. He picked her up at the park after I ran into her in a cafe.

PROTECC

[motiv8]

Trust me, Horse. You don't want to know on this one.

[crushtheskulls]

It’s… okay. I’m getting pretty used to weird.

UN: Rose

[nefilim]

Valentine's is kind of a dumb holiday tho. Only good thing about it is the chocolates 🥰

[Let's just get that out of the way first.]

Also maybe saying the whole "people are roped into this app cuz they were flagged for weird energy shit" may have been nice to say before so people weren't flipping out over freaky crap. But whatever. 😑

[crushtheskulls]

All right. Just gonna… leave that alone.

un: spiderlily

[higanbana]

yes but you see if they did that then they wouldn't be able to get off on dangling a ~mystery~ over our heads

[wilder]

You know Amal?

Well, that changes things! He'd be able to tell the difference between a real horse and a weird fetish thing.

[Does he 100% believe it? Nah. But it gives him enough of a lead to follow up with Amal later, so he can play along]

So why is there a literate horse here?

[wilder]

Furries are when humans pretend to be animals! Often for sex stuff!

[HE'S HELPING EVERYONE!!!!]

Otherkins take it too far and think they ARE the animals. So, much less sexy.

[motiv8]

Why? Why would you explain this to a horse?

[motiv8]

What makes you think I know? I didn't bring people here from other worlds!

Also, stop using words we don't want to have to explain to her!

[wilder]

What? It's important information for a horse on the internet to know! Especially if those types start flooding their DMs!

[motiv8]

You are a monster, I'll have you know.

[crushtheskulls]

…I sincerely regret asking. Never let me ask questions again.

UN: badcrowmance, threadjacking because I had to

[bad_crowmance]

No no, the man's got a point— it's better the horse knows before the feitshy types flood her DMs! And it will happen, you know it will.

[wilder]

Well you seem familiar with the horse!

What? Literate? That's not that advanced a word.

[He knows exactly which word he means]