UN: Zodiac | Midmonth Post

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: October 15th
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[We've reached the second half of October. The victims of the Event Horizon have returned to Kaisou, along with some bodies. Meanwhile, the Zodiac employees have been rescued from the Unknown, but it's still open for people to explore]



Childe, Xie Lian, and Noa have joined the app. Say hi everyone!

[The post then continues on as normal.]

Hello. Thank you for using the Libra App.

Thanks to everyone that helped save my colleagues from the Unknown. Working at Zodiac isn't great, but that realm sounded like it was somehow worse- so I'm sure they appreciate it.

And to my colleagues, as a special favor I convinced Janet not to throw another potluck to welcome you back. You guys are getting doordash gift cards instead, you're welcome.

In other news.... what the hell happened to the group that went on a fishing trip? Over 20 of you going on a fishing trip sounded weird enough, but then you guys came back with dead bodies?

On second thought, maybe it's better I don't know.

Now bye.



This post is sponsored by Seven Stars Mall. Enjoy our exciting new indoor amusement park, a 7-star shopping experience, and don't forget to take a photo with our mascot, Rex, just outside the mall! Post it on social media with #7StarRex to enter a sweepstakes for a $10,000 and other fun prizes!

[As of now ICly, Even Horizon is back and the Zodiac members have been saved fro the Unknown, though you're still welcomed to explore it! Also you're completely welcome to continue backtagging both events!

Users will have the option to choose their own display names and user pics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone. Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac. And as always, feel free to keep backtagging the event logs! ]

Comments

video | un: silhouetto

[threebetrayals]

[So.

Guess who can fly?

And guess who is posting a video here with him sat on Zhongli's head?]

This is allowed, right?

[centralfiction]

[...okay that's funny.

Username ragna has liked this post!]

Text | UN: makeitaventi

[venti_late]

Rex Lapis has that 7 star service if you know what I mean!!!! #7StarRex

[There is a picture of the statue from what looks to be the point of view of someone draping dramatically across the statue's lap, and then there's a picture of Zhongli in his small dragon form napping on his special lizard bed near Venti's computer desk. This is, unfortunately, cross posted to all of his socials, and this includes Libra. Like it or not, it's a social media app.]

text; un: ginkgo

[lapislazily]

No.

No, I don't know what you mean.

Who even authorized this...?

text; un: ginkgo

[lapislazily]

Whatever Zodiac may say, the Statue of Seven is not a toy.

[The nipple tassels say otherwise, but.]

It is connected directly to the divine power of whatever god it represents, allowing it to heal your wounds once a day if you are in great need. Through the statues the gods can also hear your prayers. If you make an offering there, they will receive it.

They also know about the deeds you have done to the statue-- every single one.

Please keep that in mind, and consider that my relative silence until now was because there were greater matters of importance, and not because I particularly enjoy the sight of sacred artifacts being defaced.

Text | UN: makeitaventi

[venti_late]

you know you like it when I sit on your divine stone lap

putting the lap in Rex Lapis

text; un: thedancer

[dancedwithplenty]

Okay, divine god statue, that's good to know

But 10k
That's like, most of a college semester

Maaaybe worth the risk of smiting, don't ya think?

text; un; ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

fishing trip? again?? what lame-ass bit of magic only comes up with fishing trip for fuckin spiritin a pile of people off to fuck with them in a goddamn hellboat dimension

at the same time i'm in a unique position where i could pull the greatest con of all time if i can get my corpse out of Needlenoggin's sight for ten minutes...

[ what's dealing with trauma in a healthy, productive way? it goes where the rest of the feelings go and humor blacker than Wolfwood's hair is what's left after. ]

Text: UN:hotgoss private

[bebest]

[At first he thinks ha ha what a wackado thing for Nick to say. But then the rest of it really sinks in - it HAS been a year since the cabin.

Oh no. Oh no no no.]

Please don't tell me the thing I'm worried happened again is the thing that happened again.

Because it really sounds like that.

video; un: 520blazeit

[goldace]

[Yes, yes, emotional trauma, death, seeing his own body, being murdered by his new best friend-- it was all horrible, it'll take months to recover from it, some may never recover from it, some may be busy giving the statue of a mall god a lap dance but more importantly: ]

Hey, chat. [Take it easy on this clearly confused himbo, he's just a gen z mama's boy] Tell it to me straight. Am I stupid?

[He's just gonna. Turn to the side, showing off a tattoo on his left arm that definitely wasn't there before the uh. Fishing trip.]

When did I even get this??

voice | un: shinope

[killerapp]

Yes, you're stupid.

[Well he asked.]

Probably something from your past life.

un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

[Attached is a picture of Ardyn grinning like a jackass.]

[Behind him is the poor unfortunate statue, now with a new pair of glasses.]

[1/2] text; un: DOINK!!!

[tonberrykin]

wdym people came back with bodies from the fishing trip
don't doordash while traumatized doordashers dont deserve that smoke sometimes the restaurant just doesn't give us your stupidass fries and that's karma for the day and

[2/2]

[tonberrykin]

wait does that say 10k

brb

[ 30 minutes later give or take Ghilley'll attach a selfie of himself and Rex wearing matching tiny cowgirl hats. Rex got the pink one. Ghilley went for white. #7StarRex all the way ]

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

[Attached is a selfie of Edward hanging off the statue’s arm, with Kuni sitting on its head in the background. Edward looks a little more disheveled than he usually does, past “disreputable but roguishly charming” and into “hungover after a lot of drinking” territory.]

#7StarRex

I don’t want a Doordash gift card. I want those ten thousand dollars as compensation, to start with.

text; un: fourseasons

[consonanter]

I know some say the cosmos is a beautiful place, but... as far as I'm concerned, I don't want to step foot on a space ship for quite some time.

[Ha. Ha. Ha. Noah sure got the double whammy of not only remembering his past as Sunday and all the regrets he now has from what he did to Penacony, but also actually being murdered. He will never blame March for what happened, the ship was alive and made them hurt each other- but that trauma isn't going to go away easily, either.]

private; direct text

[rupturingheaven]

Where are you

[Never mind that Bailey is exhausted from surprise family trip. This is more important.]

UN: Shroud | Text

[whiteshroud]

I've been informed of the situation.

If there is a body that needs to be taken care of, I can offer my services. Just let me know how you wish the body to dealt with. If you wish for any prayers besides Catholic ones, you'll need to find someone who can give them.

Also there will be a fee, but I'll make sure it's less than what a funeral home would charge.

text; un; ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

you do payment plans by any chance

otherwise i dunno dead me has a certain charm to him
if i bungee cord his head down i could use him as a scarecrow or something

text ; un: doordasher

[doublethumbsup]

[ SEEN 7:53 PM ]

not quite here

[conseqweinces]

[mood tbh.]

text | un: fairylights

[vanescere]

I wish it was fishing... But everyone... you really don't want to know.

I don't know if I ever want to go to space again...

[She read over this several times to make sure she didn't leave in any typos, but it's hard with how much her hands are shaking even still.]

text | un: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

So they got you too, then?

Would you like to talk about it? I know time with friends can help.

We could meet for tea.

voice; un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

I really, really wish it was a fishing trip. Would’ve been a lot more enjoyable than what actually happened.

voice | un: chaosraccoon | private

[actnormal]

I'm not gonna ask what happened, but do you want to actually go on a fishing trip? Even if it's just to Blue Fish.

text; un: absolutenumber

[mediocrites]

Despite the name, I don't recommend Neptune as a fishing destination.

[this is to say, he's alive and functional enough to text.]

un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

Asking if you're alright is a stupid question, so I'll skip straight to step two. Do you need anything?

voice | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

[Okay you know what.]

If you were on that fishing trip, let me know. I'll figure out a way to get you guys one free DoorDash or something.

voice; un: captamerica

[mstitel]

Fishing.

[If he sounds a little strangled, no he doesn't.]

Is that how the people in charge shove things like this under the rug? Fishing?!

[He's offended, honestly! And that's definitely all. There are no mental breakdowns happening over here!!]

voice

[prunedworlds]

"They called it a fishing trip because that's where everyone still here thought everyone had gone. Just out for a trip, so nothing for anyone to worry about, you know? The same sort of thing happened last year, so I'm pretty sure it's some kind of magic, like how usually most people in the city don't notice magical stuff."

A brief pause before she continued.

"I was one of the people that happened to last year. Zodiac won't do anything, and if it's anything like last year that spirit gate might be gone for good now anyway, but the other people on the app understand what happened, at least."

UN: CamCotton | #7StarRex

[creamcottonshepherd]

[Look at that it's a picture of Zhongli's statue!

...There's a knit shawl wrapped around it.

This also isn't a selfie.

Cotton might not have recalled what a selfie is.]

text · un: vinviv

[mehjin]

#7starrex

[attached is a photo of viv hanging upside-down from zhongli's statue by her long, stretchy legs, making a v-sign with one hand.]

un: et_machina

[deusversusmachina]

The contest doesn't expressly forbid employee participation, and therefore #7StarRex

[Attached is a picture of Ophelia, Will Smith posing at the statue. In contrast to the pose, her face has the sort of deadpan expression where you're not entirely sure if it's a threat or if that's just her face.]

text | un: kissmyash

[switchaxe]

holy shit A+

un: speeddemon

[oneracetrackmind]

is this what we're doing on here??? okay then, #7StarRex!!!

[Attached is a picture of Yugo throwing a peace sign in front of the statue. Perched on the statue's lap is what appears to be...a spirit companion? This companion has the appearance of a small toy dragon.]

un: steadyflame; text

[reignitions]

Yugo?!

[WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID HIS LITTLE BROTHER GET ON LIBRA]

text, un: thedancer

[dancedwithplenty]

[Sending a quick 'please be cool, gods' prayer first, but still risking it for the college funds]

[Attached is a photo of Danielle with a big grin, raising a wine glass next to the Rex statue. A second wine glass is carefully balanced on the cube of pondering. Careful examination might show that both cups are technically plastic, because like hell is Dani risking breaking glass here.]

What up, party people~ #7StarRex