UN: ZODIAC | IT'S GONNA BE MAY

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: May 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[April shifts into May, bringing the first promising signs of summer. The spirit vein's colors change to shades of purple and black to represent the shadow element. Everyone's devices will emit a soothing wind chime sound as a new Zodiac post appears. The chime will sound even if you have your phone turned off or on silent, and will not stop until you read their message and comment to it.]




Mikleo, Moxxie and Neuvillette have left the app.

[The post then continues on.]

Hello and thank you for using the Libra app.

Happy May, everyone! We have had wonderful feedback from Tom Nook- his island regeneration project has come on leaps and bounds to all of your hard work. We heard disturbing rumours about a fantastical lagomorph bothering some app users, but extensive research has shown this was a harmless hiccup experienced by an extremely small number of the population- no need to worry, anyone :)

Our marketing team have been working hard while you have enjoyed your wonderful vacation and we are now excited to bring you our brand new TIER SYSTEM!! Yes! Now you can enjoy even more Zodiac content right here on the Libra app - and you get full control of the content you consume! Our fantastic new tiers are as follows:

- Budget - Free. Your current Libra experience: no perks, non-targeted regular ads. A less personalized experience.
- Standard - $10.99 a month. Targeted ads for personalised shopping experiences. You can upload up to 10 images a month on our brand-new Starscapes images platform.
- Premier - $30.55 a month. Targeted ads. Upload up to 20 images a month on Starscapes. You can use an animated userpic- FUN and exciting!!!
- Exclusive - $50.78 a month. Targeted ads. Unlimited image upload on Starscapes. You can now have a personalised banner on your user page! Let your creativity run wild!
- Superstar - $90.99 a month. Ad free!

That's all for now! We'll leave you off with our icebreaker question.




This post is sponsored by Heckin' Sunbeds! Give yourself a tan hotter than hell!

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone.

Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac.

OOC Note: If you haven't responded to AC, you still have until 11:59am EST today to do so! Once you do, you'll be removed from this post. ]

Comments

UN: hikari-vi | Text

[whiteshroud]

$90 a month for no ads? That's like $900 a year isn't it? That's insane.

[Look.

Math is not his strong suit]

text; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

hey parsley are you sure about that math

un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

$1,080.

text: un: trienemybest

[droptheious]

You work for scientists.

video | un: lastlullaby

[end_singer]

[He's not from here but he's... pretty sure that math's off a wee bit.]

...I thought there were twelve months in this world's year...?

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

what the fuck is this

i think they killed the usual dork and replaced him with something unnatural someone start an inquiry

text: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

ohohoh they talk abt this stuff on the internet n ive seen it
where theyve like replaced drivethru workers at mcdonalds with ai people
its honestly terrible they cant understand u half the time lol

un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

Amazing. A brand new top spot on the list of The Stupidest Shit I've Ever Seen In My Life.

text: un: darkSlayer

[kowase]

90$ and not even an option to turn off the inane jingle it pesters us with twice a month.

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

I'm not paying for this scam of an app and neither is anyone else.

@ azalea Are you working on an ad remover or should I?

Text | UN: lunae

[heng_like_a_dragon]

I pay enough to access the scientific journals and webinars I need in order to keep my license.

Not to mention, this app isn't anywhere near worthy of $10. Not even Discord is worth that much.

text | un: laluna

[crisantemo]

so the rabbit was actually real im sure they'll be thrilled to hear that. not too sure about harmless though i think the mental trauma is extensive

also glad to see that this app is capable of becoming so much worse

un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

I did rather assume Husk would come up with something better than an invisible rabbit were he trying to play an elaborate joke on me.

text: un: MrColdFeet

[anyprice]

Wooowwweeee, and I thought I had some bad sales ideas.

This is next-level.

ummm
maybe make ad-free be a part of most packages...?

text | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

I think we found someone somehow worse than Netflix

video

[ampersand_me]

"What are 'targeted ads'? Is this some manner of weapon being sold?"

Knuckles no.

voice, un: eve

[playtag]

[....Huh. Someone did not change when coming back from their island vacation.]

Not a literal weapon.

Ads are the shortened form of "advertisements:" media that tries to sell a service or material good.

When ads are targeted, that means the platform showing them tries to match the advertisements with the audience believed to be most likely to buy. Either by noting what kinds of people frequent their platform or collecting data on individuals.

[Someone just read up on the subject.]

text; un: noxxed

[sassery]

tiers????
tf is this
if i wanted bullshit pricing i wouldve gone to playstation tbh
get outta here

un: jojo

[standless]

Why does a device named for play have similar pricing schemas?

text; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

It is more likely that hell will run ice-cold than will you lot get people to pay for your magical malware abomination of an application.

The bar is underground and yet you're skidding on your face to a stop only halfway down the track.

Also what the hell is a 'late night activity'? Sex? What sort of data are you trying to collect here?

un: musicologyminor

[youwouldntdownloada]

I'm astounded 'targeted-ads' is in the middle of those tiers.

Seeing the results of their data-collecting efforts is something I'm more likely to pay to avoid, thanks...

Text: un: bar_cat75

[wiseoldbartender]

I fucking told you shitdicks the rabbit was real.

un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

Tell that to my imaginary friend Zhongli sometime. Honestly, it's like no one takes us seriously sometimes.

text | un: paintedfox

[stripartist]

Congratulations. Somehow you have less sense than those idiots who think AI plagiarism is art.

kind of here

[hoshikiri]

[Yusuke is getting a Look that basically asks so we're not giving them our fucking money right?

He has to make sure okay. If Yusuke wanted it Takame would do it.]

un: yiling

[conseqweinces]

so is it about time we

you know

⛵🏴‍☠️⚓🗺️?

i haven't found a way to do it through magic apps though

text: un: TheDuke

[loupmorque]

Can't say I have a super lot of experience with the whole 'making an app' thing, but. Given how many foolish apps exist on smart phones, there has to be something that can be made by someone with enough skill or effort.

If anyone's doing that sort of thing, you could count me in to help. I'm better at hardware but I've been reading up on software lately.

text | un: kni

[ornamentals]

that rabbit was real and everyone who couldn't see them should have their vision checked.

unbelievable.

text: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

Oh.

...

...

Hehe.

un: shineon; text

[onahairtrigger]

Oh Zodiac has to be out of their damn minds if they think anyone here's spending a cent on this stupid app

text | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

Were they ever in their minds to begin with? Are we sure they're not just AI?

[scholarlywarden]

In hindsight, I am more surprised they are only trying this now.

[roseandsilver]

At some point, I believe they'll try anything once. Non mi sorprende.

un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

i cancelled my netflix account over this. you’d think they’d learn.

un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

The only thing more enduring and annoying than me.

Capitalism.

un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Besides that, who the hell replaced all the alcohol in the Vogue with vinegar?

text | un: laluna

[crisantemo]

??????

it's still all alcohol

UN: JOJO | text

[standless]

I rather preferred when we were all cursed with the sight of advertisements, unaware of whence they came.

I should think I would not want to pay to have devices know what I might buy...

UN: musicologyminor

[youwouldntdownloada]

Are they trying to magically compete with non-magical apps? Really?

If sprouting antlers didn't stop me from using my other apps, why would I even think about uploading pictures here for the ✨fun price✨ of....'609.36' a year?

...Seriously they can't even round some of these off..?

un: theprofessional

[sg09r]

I’d pay you to get the magical malware off my phone tbh but I suspect you’d probably infect it with a different magic virus instead.

Who’d pay eleven dollars to get targeted ads? I could buy an iced coffee without whipped cream on top for ten dollars.

un: musicologyminor | based at least partly on a tru experience, this,

[youwouldntdownloada]

That's what I was saying!

I already know they're taking data from us, I don't need to know what parts they're picking out.

(These things never do a good job of it anyway- I was talking to my mom about what a pain it was to get rid of the flowers on the lawn and the next thing I knew youtube wouldn't stop advertising mother's day flower shop deals.)

Text & Video | UN: rosula

[naviagate]

[One would think that this is a normal shitpost on Zodiac's announcement for the start of the month. However... Navia isn't really one to shitpost. First comes this text message of utmost elegance and wit:]

uioypur3teyf89re70wtjrequiyqE7984352FDIOAHUIGFSDA78

[Then video and audio feed comes on. There is the sound of a distressed bear roaring pretty close to the microphone, but... there's no bear in sight at all even though you can DEFINITELY hear the footsteps of one lumbering around.]

voice | UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

[Well that’s…concerning.]

Navia? Navia, are you okay?