text | un: otterfan04131973

[godmaker]

WHO: Neuvillette and you!
WHERE: Libra app
WHEN: February 12th
WHAT: Local Old Man Puts Out Another Ad (Valentines Edition)
WARNINGS: None

☆ Looking for Paid Escort

I am looking for a person to pose as my companion on the 14th of February. There are many 'couples-only' experiences in this city and I wish to attend these and immerse myself in the experience. I do not have a preference for appearance, gender, or magical ability. If you are of divinity please do not exhibit any divine characteristics in my vicinity.

Events may include, and are not limited to:

• Wedding cake sampling (There may be nut allergens)


• A pastry-making class (There may be nut allergens)


• A dance class (There may be nut allergens)


• A multiple-course meal themed around heart shapes (Pescetarian)


• A boat ride on the lake (the boat is OSHA certified safe. I am willing to provide swimming lessons for safety.)

I will pay a rate of at least $400/hour, for a minimum of four (4) hours. You may negotiate depending on your skills and/or certifications.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Comments

text; un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

do we have to do all of this or can we pick one because i can bring my fishing rod along for the boat ride

[godmaker]

Any one of the activities is fine. Are you able to swim?

[illucesco]

yeah but do you mind if i turn into a seal when i get wet? if anything happens and i go overboard, you’ll be spending the next few hours with a ribbon seal.

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

You like crafts?

[godmaker]

From time to time. I am not that good with creative pursuits, but I enjoy the process.

I still have gifts for you from last holiday season that I was unfortunately unable to send out. When is a good time to give them to you?

1/2

[unreachableside]

It's about expression. It's not a contest unless you make it one. [Like him. Blade is nothing if not a perfectionist.] Anyway, I can teach you how to use a kiln. I know someone who owns a studio near Brick Alley. He doesn't mind if I use his facility.

... You didn't need to get me anything. Still... thanks. [That's a surprise. Of course he'd gotten something for Neuvillette, but he felt like it was the least he could do if he's eventually marrying (?) into the family (again?).]

I have your commission ready, too. It belongs to you.

[A pause. Give him a second to flip it to private.]

private;

[unreachableside]

I should warn you.

Dan Heng and I are trying to lay low right now. There is some Black Order zealot who wants to kill him and possibly anyone connected to him, so be careful. Her name is Teresa.

Anyway, I can meet you somewhere.

text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

Huh, what??? You're gonna pay to have someone go have fun with you??

aw man
that doesn't sound romantic at all, you know???

Re: text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[godmaker]

What does being romantic have to do with it?

[doubledollar]

its about LOVE!


L-O-V-E!!!

you can't pay someone for love!

...

i mean you can but you shouldn't

text: un: The Duke

[loupmorque]

Y'know, you could just ask.

You've never gone dancing before?
Not sure what nuts have to do with it, though.

1/4

[godmaker]

[Are you willing to witness Neuvillette getting scammed about 17 times?]

I have not gone dancing in this life, or the previous one. I have always declined gala invitations as I do not see the point of the Iudex attending.

2/4

[godmaker]

[What does he Mean he could just ask? Should he have drafted an invitation, slipped it under his door?]

3/4

[godmaker]

[Is that even appropriate? Would he get a strongly worded letter from Human/Melusine/Dragon Resources for fraternization? Neuvillette's overthinking would probably be palpable through the frantic typing bubble appearing and disappearing.]

done :(

[godmaker]

Wriothesley. Would you be my paid escort for Valentines' Day?

[NAILED IT.]

oh my fucking god

[loupmorque]

[ the logic that the fortress doesn't exist here and therefore it's not fraternitization is what is important here.

its not fraternitizing to go dancing with your glorified housekeeper.

probably. ]

Here I thought you'd have gone to those shindigs out of obligation. I learn something new every day.

[ now comes the chore of not laughing loud enough to be heard by this. idiot dragon man. ]

I will be your Valentines Escort, but how about saving that money for a nice pet bed for that doggy of yours.

text; un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

This has to be the strangest solicitation I've ever seen.

And I've seen quite a few.

[godmaker]

Do you have any suggestions for improvement?

[scourgingstars]

Let me see:

-I would advise asking a friend or at least associate with a particular sweet tooth before offering a job posting.
-In a related point, the clinical wording may be seen as generally off-putting. 'Weird', I daresay.
-For the love of whatever one holds sacred, don't offer to pay someone for companionship. (Unless that's already their occupation, that's another matter entirely.)

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

I'm not divinity, I have a fondness for free things and $400/hr salaries, and I'm great at lying to people. Where and when do you want me?

[godmaker]

You must be aware that I do not know what level of subterfuge these activities may require, and we may be required to engage in physical affection.

UN: hikari-vi | text

[whiteshroud]

[Okay, past headaches aside, this? Is some of the funniest stuff he's read on the app in awhile. So he'll bite.]

I'm not escort material, but what pastries are you interested in learning to make?

[godmaker]

Macarons. The last time I have tried, they turned out wet. Are you interested? I will not attempt harm on your person.

action, because i damn well said so.

[majeste]

[ oh neuvillette, whatever will they do with you? while she could have simply responded to his post furina, utterly appalled that he made it in the first place, chooses instead to do the next best thing: emerge from her room to scold him for it.

well, she doesn't just walk out... she emerges and immediately seats herself beside him on the couch, arms crosses in an clear display of frustration. ]

Firstly! You needn't pay anyone to accompany you to these things when both myself and Wriothesley are right here. Secondly! Why did you not think to ask either of us?! We are both here more days than not, and while I know you are busy you needn't avoid us.

[ the frustration fades for something more tired, her gaze softening as she turns to look at him. ]

Stop holding us at arms length, you silly dragon.

[godmaker]

[He regards her from under his cocoon of knitted polyester blanket with a faintly ashamed look.]

I would not wish to impose. [He looks down, somehow looking the younger side of ageless.] Not after... all that happened. Back then. You should be free to do as you please.