text | un: otterfan04131973

[godmaker]

WHO: Neuvillette and you!
WHERE: Libra app
WHEN: February 12th
WHAT: Local Old Man Puts Out Another Ad (Valentines Edition)
WARNINGS: None

☆ Looking for Paid Escort

I am looking for a person to pose as my companion on the 14th of February. There are many 'couples-only' experiences in this city and I wish to attend these and immerse myself in the experience. I do not have a preference for appearance, gender, or magical ability. If you are of divinity please do not exhibit any divine characteristics in my vicinity.

Events may include, and are not limited to:

• Wedding cake sampling (There may be nut allergens)


• A pastry-making class (There may be nut allergens)


• A dance class (There may be nut allergens)


• A multiple-course meal themed around heart shapes (Pescetarian)


• A boat ride on the lake (the boat is OSHA certified safe. I am willing to provide swimming lessons for safety.)

I will pay a rate of at least $400/hour, for a minimum of four (4) hours. You may negotiate depending on your skills and/or certifications.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Comments

text; un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

do we have to do all of this or can we pick one because i can bring my fishing rod along for the boat ride

[godmaker]

Any one of the activities is fine. Are you able to swim?

[illucesco]

yeah but do you mind if i turn into a seal when i get wet? if anything happens and i go overboard, you’ll be spending the next few hours with a ribbon seal.

1/3

[godmaker]

[To be quite honest he would prefer the seal but as far as he had been made to understand by Furina (his boss) and Furina (his roommate) this is a rude thing to say to humans.]

2/3

[godmaker]

🥰🥰 I like seals. 🥰🥰

3/3

[godmaker]

I assure you, I will not mind. If you wish to fish as a seal I will join you.

[illucesco]

[is this guy a furry or…

You know what? $1600 is nothing to sniff at.]

yeah, sure. if i go overboard i’ll stick to being a seal for however long the boat ride lasts after that.

btw my oshawott will probably tag along, do you mind? he’s well-behaved as long as you give him a fish to munch on.

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

You like crafts?

text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

Huh, what??? You're gonna pay to have someone go have fun with you??

aw man
that doesn't sound romantic at all, you know???

text: un: The Duke

[loupmorque]

Y'know, you could just ask.

You've never gone dancing before?
Not sure what nuts have to do with it, though.

text; un: luciferskylight

[scourgingstars]

This has to be the strangest solicitation I've ever seen.

And I've seen quite a few.

[godmaker]

[Can he please have a date with your Oshawott instead.]

By all means, he can come along. I also like otters. 😍
One more query, please. Are you currently accused of any crime or are currently participating in any criminal case?

[godmaker]

From time to time. I am not that good with creative pursuits, but I enjoy the process.

I still have gifts for you from last holiday season that I was unfortunately unable to send out. When is a good time to give them to you?

[illucesco]

[Fluvius's standards are too high, sorry.]

he'll like you too, i think. he likes anyone who gives him fish and treats him like he's little royalty.

no and no. i did sort out some legal affairs my dad left behind, and a friend and i are working through the legalities of setting up our own gaming company, but that's all. [Please don't ask him about his dad please don't ask him about his dad.]

Re: text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[godmaker]

What does being romantic have to do with it?

1/4

[godmaker]

[Are you willing to witness Neuvillette getting scammed about 17 times?]

I have not gone dancing in this life, or the previous one. I have always declined gala invitations as I do not see the point of the Iudex attending.

2/4

[godmaker]

[What does he Mean he could just ask? Should he have drafted an invitation, slipped it under his door?]

3/4

[godmaker]

[Is that even appropriate? Would he get a strongly worded letter from Human/Melusine/Dragon Resources for fraternization? Neuvillette's overthinking would probably be palpable through the frantic typing bubble appearing and disappearing.]

done :(

[godmaker]

Wriothesley. Would you be my paid escort for Valentines' Day?

[NAILED IT.]

[godmaker]

Do you have any suggestions for improvement?

[godmaker]

[He will save the strangely blunt questioning for later, in person, sorry for your life sir,]

I am sorry for your loss. Please let me know if I may be of assistance, as I am a practicing judge here in Kaisou.

[illucesco]

it's fine. but thank you. i'll let you know if there is anything.

[There is nothing he wants to talk about less, thanks!]

btw, how couple-y do you want us to act? just enough to get us in there?

oh my fucking god

[loupmorque]

[ the logic that the fortress doesn't exist here and therefore it's not fraternitization is what is important here.

its not fraternitizing to go dancing with your glorified housekeeper.

probably. ]

Here I thought you'd have gone to those shindigs out of obligation. I learn something new every day.

[ now comes the chore of not laughing loud enough to be heard by this. idiot dragon man. ]

I will be your Valentines Escort, but how about saving that money for a nice pet bed for that doggy of yours.

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

I'm not divinity, I have a fondness for free things and $400/hr salaries, and I'm great at lying to people. Where and when do you want me?

[godmaker]

Yes, if you are amenable to participate in such subterfuge. The issue is that I am not aware of what exactly is 'enough to get us in there'. The requirement may range from just arriving at the same time, to physical affection, to a copy of a marriage certificate and/or living will.