Voice, un: eve

[playtag]

WHO: Eve
WHERE: Network, the cottage
WHEN: A few days before Christmas
WHAT: Isekai ponders the mysteries of Terry's Chocolate Orange
WARNINGS: Eventual violence against chocolate

[A photograph of one foil covered Terry's chocolate orange accompanies this post.]

I got a chocolate covered orange? The strange shopkeeper said it was a Christmas tradition.

The packaging says to "whack and unwrap" but...

Won't that damage the orange?

Comments

[thewarriorqueen]

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. It's not a chocolate-covered orange, it's an orange-flavored chocolate."

She guessed this must be the kid's first time having one.

"Whacking it won't damage it, it just makes the chocolate slices come apart easier."

[playtag]

The orange... is all chocolate?

[It is indeed. This is only Eve's second Christmas. Lots of traditions to catch up on.]

You're sure it won't break it?

[That doesn't seem right, hitting things usually causes damage. But if she's certain...]

[thewarriorqueen]

"Exactly. Chocolate that's shaped like an orange, with some orange flavor."

Literally a chocolate orange, in other words.

"And as long as you whack it where the packaging says to it'll be fine, it's made for people to do that."

[playtag]

How do they add orange flavor to chocolate?

[Those are two separate food groups to Eve's mind. What wizardry]

...

[There's a shuffling and crinkle as Eve puts the wrapped orange on the nearest table. Lifts her hand to smack it. Right on the spot the package says?]

[Thwap!]

[There's a thunk as the chocolate orange propels off the table onto the floor instead, rolling away.]

Ah, it fell!

[Time to retrieve her escaping snack, whoops]

[thewarriorqueen]

"It's probably just a powder or liquid they mix into it while making the chocolate."

That was her best guess, at least. Though that exclamation was a little bit concerning.

"Oh, did you lose your grip on it?"

She had no idea what actually happened here.

video: un: Kore

[aslowburn]

They're designed to fall apart. They have segments that get knocked apart - you just need to give it a solid slam against a table.

[Here, have some helpful trivia from your landlady who was definitely around when they came into existence:]

They were made in the 30s, if I remember rightly. They did an apple version first, but they gave up on that one in the 50s. It was...deeply unpleasant.

[playtag]

[Ah, their divine visitor, the owner of the cottage. Eve recognizes her and is far less alarmed now that she's not a stranger at the door.]

So the orange is supposed to be broken. [She sees...] One hit will do it?

[Yes, yes, she loves random trivia.]

What was unpleasant about the apple version?

[aslowburn]

That's correct. It's harder to eat if you don't. I'd say one solid hit against a hard surface would suffice.

[She has faith in you, Eve. Beat the shit out of that orange.]

Chocolate and apple isn't a flavour combination that works very well. Especially when it's synthetic apple. It's been a long time since I ate one, but I remember it really didn't work.

[playtag]

Hmm...

[She picks up the round chocolate in her little fist. Her thoughtful hum is followed by brief silence, then CRACK!!!]

[The sound of dense chocolate getting slammed down on a wooden table's surface]

[There's only a brief moment of quiet before Eve pipes up again, her soft voice clashing with the sounds of destruction mere moments ago.]

Now what? I just open it?

How can you make an apple synthetic? [What branch of science is this]

[aslowburn]

[HECK YES, EVE. SMASH THE THING TO PIECES. FUCK IT UUUUUUP. EMBRACE THE VIOLENCE. SHE'S SO PROUD!

...]

Yes, you should be able to unwrap the foil and eat the segments now.

I'm honestly not sure. I only know how to make actual apples. I believe they just make it taste like apple. Or rather...taste of something vaguely in the apple area.

video: un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

A real mystery. Usually striking fruit too hard will bruise them, awfully.

But.
Maybe the 'chocolate covered' part is really hard, and unless you smack it to break the coating, you can't get inside it?!

[playtag]

You would think. Fruit is easily damaged.

I guess... it does feel heavier than a normal orange.

[Because it's straight chocolate, but she hasn't learned that yet. She carefully weighs the orange with her hand.]

But couldn't you cut through both with a knife?

[doubledollar]

Hmmm...

I guess we could try cutting it with a knife instead, if you're afraid of breaking it.

I can help!

[playtag]

Let's try!

[Visible in the cottage, Eve has changed one of her index fingers into a sharp blade. Current knife child activated.]

[No way this plan goes poorly.]

What would you like to do?

[Because she will attempt to dice this Terry's chocolate herself if permitted]

[doubledollar]

--Oh, whoa.

[well that reminded him a lot of kni, wow. A sudden blade! Well. At least she's using it to cut chocolate fruit, so it's fine. He laughs a little. ]

Maybe just...

Right down the middle! Hi-yah!!

Oh, uhm. Use one of the wooden cutting boards to do it, not a table, or in your own hand.
I don't want to see you hurt yourself.

text | un: kni

[ornamentals]

throw it as hard as you can, just to see what happens.

text, un: eve

[playtag]

[Kni, why]

What do you think will happen?

[ornamentals]

it could explode.
or there's something inside.

[playtag]

...

I don't want an explosion inside the house.

[ornamentals]

we could take it outside.
or you could give it to wolfwood.
he'll eat anything.

Voice; un: hikari-vi

[whiteshroud]

It'll be fine. You have to break it a little in order to get the pieces.

[playtag]

Oh!

You can't just... pull it apart?

[whiteshroud]

Not easily no.

Once you whack it, it'll break into several chocolate slices which are easy to share or... eat all yourself.

[playtag]

I'll share it then!

[Everyone at the cottage should try this Christmas treat, as a learning moment! Hopefully they'll like it.]

Well, I guess I can try hitting it.

[There's a soft shwoosh noise that marks her starting a transformation.]

[Maybe a small hammer would be enough?]

[whiteshroud]

Haha, have fun!

Just don't hit too hard, you don't want to destroy all the chocolate.