2; THE BEACH EPISODE

[medicgunner]

WHO: Everyone!!
WHERE: Starting on the network, then The Beach!
WHEN: Forward dated to the last weekend of August
WHAT: Beach Episode!!
WARNINGS: None hopefully??



[With no context, no preamble, no nothing. Early on the last weekend of August, Eunie greeted the network with a message.]

text; un: fortuneclovers

hey
Eunie here, changed my un
so this month was fuckin awful
im goin to the beach. Maybe have a little fun there to get the mind off all the bullshit
if you’re seein this youre invited too. come on and lets have a good time, bring what you want

Oh yeah
im bringin a volleyball for the nets
anyone who wants a game come at me. >:)

🌭 getting grilled

[So ended the text one humble weekend morning. Eunie didn’t have specific plans for this, she just sort of ran off and invited the whole app to the beach without considering the logistics. She did say to bring what you want but she was social enough to arrange some things for a bit of a beach gathering.

It wasn’t a lot, a few coolers and BBQ grills people can hand around and either loiter or cook at if they have the capability. If they don’t though they will be removed from the grill. But maybe that’s part of the fun.]

🌊 ocean owned

[Aside from the coolers, there’s obviously the beautiful sea people can surf or swim in all they want! The water is fine, a little cold but in a way that felt refreshing from the hottest days of the last legs of summertime. The tides were even and there was no real risk of drifting away, but don’t go too far out unless you’re a strong swimmer. There are lifeguards on duty but we’ve had enough trauma this month, we don’t need a drowning scare. Or do, I’m not your mom.]

⛱️ avoid the burn

[Not a swimmer? Well then catch up on your tan under the share umbrellas and towels laid on the sand. Or your sunburn. It is a bright and sunny weekend after all so no matter what you’re catching up on, get your sunscreen on too.

It’s also just as good for a little break from the swimming and the music to steady yourself before you head out or head back into the water or some piers you can walk down on your own for the same experience to just catch the sea breeze while staying up and about.]

🏐 bolleyvall bapped

[That being said, Eunie was not joking about there being volleyball. There are a few nets on the beach for a few different games to go on at once. Organize a tournament or just play casually. Remember though that there are normies on the beach and any Earth Shattering volleyball spikes might cost some property damage claim money. This isn’t death soccer, people.

Who am I kidding, this is going to turn into a disaster either way. Go ham, challenge the bird girl or just watch the chaos unfold and place your bets, kids.]

🎇 bonfire lit up your life

[As the day winded down and night settled on the beach, some folks were headed home or have gone there already to get the sand out of their shorts. But those who stuck around will get the pleasure of sitting by a bonfire not me as they bid a fond farewell to the summertime and summer vacation.

Or get in touch with their inner arsonist in a less destructive way.

Sit, relax and socialize, take in the ambiance of the twilight by the fire, roast some marshmallows or hot dogs. Maybe decide to camp out for the night. It is a pretty peaceful time, and it’s these small moments of calm with friends and loved ones we have to cherish the most when in recovery, right?]

Comments

[doubledollar]

Hm... maybe the river will be fine. [ he's not sure, but... he can at least try, right? even if the nervousness is still at the back of his head.

What if he just... distracts himself with the crab for now? he'll watch it slowly drift along in the shallow water, close enough to almost skirt over Kni's feet. It doesn't seem ready to attack, at least. ]

I didn't know they came in blue.
I thought they were all red, like in pictures.

[ornamentals]

[if kni doesn't pose as a threat, then there's little reason for a tiny crab to try and attack him. it meanders away, and kni escapes a possible pinch attack unscathed.]

They turn red when they're boiled alive in hot water. There's a protein in their shells that releases in the heat, and that's what turns them red.

[red meaning death, an irony that thankfully goes over kni's head. ignorance is bliss.]

[doubledollar]

[ wait hold on what wait hold on wh huh oh wha? ]

--WHAT!

But.
In-- in some comic books or shows, the crabs are always like, red on the beach and--

[ WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ONLY TURN RED WHEN BOILED ALIVE ]

How could people mess something like that up!! Boiled crabs don't go on the beach!?

[ornamentals]

Because humans are stupid? They used to think dinosaurs had scales, too.

[stupid is probably a little harsh, but... it's true.]

I suppose there are some crabs that are red, but most turn that color because they've been boiled alive.

[thankfully, this blue crab will live to see many more days, assuming nothing bigger grabs it for a quick snack. kni reaches for vash's hand and starts to tug him along again.]

C'mon, you can at least have your breakdown on the beach.

[doubledollar]

Ohmygod don't remind me. When I first got here--like DAY ONE,--I got into an argument with Mr. Waver about the fact that he said there were dinosaurs in the city, and that people were being menaced by Velociraptors.

You know.
The two feet tall things with feathers.

And then I got CHASED by the scaly lizard things and it took everything in me not to get upset about how wrong they were...

[ Jurassic park looking fake motherfuckers--

he's distracted from his turmoil over crabs for the time being, though, as he's slowly plodding his way back to the beach. ]

I'm not having a breakdown...!

[ornamentals]

So they weren't really dinosaurs, then? What a waste. It's not even that hard to do proper research...

[kni really emphasizes with vash on this; he'd be just as upset, if not more so by the idiotic disregard for accurate representation of some of earth's coolest creatures.

he rolls his eyes, but he can't hide his bemused smile even as he brings his other hand up to hide it.]

Sure, Vash. You're doing a great job of keeping it together.

[and look, they've reached blessed land! kni still keeps hold of vash's hand as he leads them back to the spot where their stuff sat untouched.] Starting to feel better now?

[doubledollar]

They definitely LOOKED like what people considered dinosaurs but they were so wrong. Someone's terrible imagination come to life.

[ he rolls his eyes. and he's gonna move to lie down in the sand. Just a whole brother goes flop. Down into it.

...he almost instantly regrets it. Sand feels just like he remembers. Hot. Itchy. ]

Land, land. Blessed land. I'm free.

You can just leave me here, I'll grow roots...

[ornamentals]

[kni watches as vash has the rest of his breakdown in the sand, deadpan expression and all. he nudges at his brother's side with the heel of his foot.]

Or the crabs will eat you.

[wait, he has a better idea--

vash better not move because kni is going to kneel next to him and start shoveling sand over his prone body. get buried, idiot.]

[doubledollar]

H-huh!?

No, no way! Crabs won't eat me, I'm way too mealy, I--I probably taste like--like soggy, wet lettuce!

[ the idiot is getting buried--he doesn't even try to struggle.

....Huh.

This feels weirdly familiar... ]

[ornamentals]

[packing in the sand now, there's no escape.]

Crabs are omnivores, so they'd probably like that you taste like lettuce.

[more sand, vash is going to come out of this looking like a sugar cookie all coated in sand from being in the water earlier.]

Have you heard of sand fleas?

1/2

[doubledollar]

Aw, come on. I bet I taste way better than lettuce. Lettuce is just crunchy water, you need like, other veggies to go wi--

[ he looks up, from where he's being coated in now bunches of wet and dry sand, and he gives an arm a wiggle, because what wha wahwahwa hwa hth waht hwat hwahtthrh what was that ?! ]

2/2

[doubledollar]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SAND FLEAS?'

[ornamentals]

[kni can't even argue the benefits of lettuce (it's delicious because it tastes like water and thus, good) when he's laughing too hard at vash's visceral reaction to his innocent question. literally, hugging his stomach as he bends forward with wheezing laughs and little snorts.]

Heh- That's right! They like to eat plants, too.

[hehhhheh]

Isn't that cool?

[doubledollar]

--That's not cool! That's not cool at all! I'M a plant, Kni!!!!

[ He's gonna scamper and try to unbury himself quicker than Kni can bury him!!! Oh god he's itchy!!! He's ITCHY!!! IS THAT THE FLEAS OR THE SAND?! ]