Video: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

WHO: Zulius and you!
WHERE: Network
WHEN: 5th March
WHAT: Local theatre gay gets an app download and a new body: screams about it
WARNINGS: None for now

[Did you expect your day to be interrupted by SRHILL SCREAMING today? Probably not, but that's exactly what you're getting. Maybe you recognise Zulius' voice - he certainly makes himself KNOWN around the city or maybe you don't- either way, he's VERY loud.]

Oh. My. GOD!!! What sort of Kool-Aid trust circle is this thing?! I get a new app on my phone and I think hey Libra, that's a star sign, maybe it's a happening new dating app! But NO. No, it's NOT a dating app AT ALL!!!

[The shrieking is starting to go up an octave now.]

And what's worse is as soon as I opened it, my amazing bod CHANGED!! And now I got HORSE parts?!!!! LOOK AT THIS! WHAT THE FLUNK IS THIS?!!!!

[He dips the camera to show himself in all his zebra-centaur glory. He's waving his free hand around in panic.]

NoNe Of MY hOT pANTs FIt AnYMorE!!!! SOMEONE TELL ME I'M STILL PRETTY AND TELL ME STAT!!!.

Comments

video; un: imahoot

[traaaaaash]

I don't know, I think the stripes are a look for you.

[bebest]

[Okay, okayokayokayokayokay.]

You know! Yeah- yeah. They do say stripes go with everything, right? [Who fucking SAYS that, Zulius?] Maybe I can find better hot pants? Oh god, do they do hot pants in whatever the heck size this is now?

text; un: fern

[laminae]

[Well that sure is a whole lot of stuff.]

hey flunk is pretty good
i usually use flip but i'm gonna steal that

[#priorities]

[bebest]

[It's such a good thing this is text because Zulius would definitely have pitched an even bigger shitfit with a grass boy.

Or it would have triggered a tree-taur memory. Either way, it would have been a bad time for both of them.]

CAN WE FOCUS ON ME FOR A SECOND HERE?!!!! Have you not noticed my WHOLE THING about my new weird body?! I thought I made that REALLY clear that this is problematic for me right now!!!!

Video; un: Opera_Ghost

[not_a_possum]

Oh. Yeah. The app did something similar to me.

[Hi, guess who's not dead? Zulius might not recognize Moxxie by his looks, but he'll certainly recognize that voice.]

But yes, you're still pretty.

1/3

[bebest]

Oh no, it's an EMPIDEMIC?!!! Where's the vaccine?!! Can we fix this?!! Why weren't there any health warnings about this? I feel like this is a thing they should have put health warnings up about. I mean what-

2/3

[bebest]

[No.

Wait.

Computing. He definitely doesn't recognise MOxxie like this, but he recognises his voice. What in sweet zombie jesus...]

3/3

[bebest]

Moxxie?!!! Is that YOU?

[He might be pulling the screen closer to squint at it.]

Is this where you've been? I was talking to Teffetica and she said that you had some kinda breakdown and like absconded from life- her words, not mine. But you're here! You're not dead! You've just got little horn things going on now!!

un: ecraig | Video

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot did some music performances occasionally and liked to go to music theater, so this guy definitely seems familiar. but he is more distracted by the--]

W-Whoa, okay! Zebra's a new one.

[Wait not helpful]

But don't worry! You're still pretty!

[bebest]

What do you MEAN it's a NEW one? This hasn't happened before?!!!!

[This is a double-edged sword- on one hand, he's had something VERY STRANGE happen to his body without his consent- but on the other at least he's a TRENDSETTER.

Still, Elliot's placated the ruffled feathers and acknowledged that he's pretty and that's what's important here. ]

I am still pretty, thanks for acknowledging my snack-ness. [He squints.] Hey. You're the guy with the violin, right?

Text | un: Pantsonpyre

[localweirdo]

If it helps, I don't think pants are really in fashion anymore.

[bebest]

Uhhhhh HARD disagree? Pants- especially hot pants never got out of style.

video; un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

[Well. He did ask.]

... You are still pretty. [The most genuine intent. The most bored tone.]

[bebest]

[Takame this is why you're the best person here!! He won't even register the tone, because what's important is the words!]

THANK you! This is really important to me because losing my hotness over this would be so problematic.

Ohhhhh hey, you got some scale action going on. Guess it IS a thing here!

Video | UN: i_do_leclerc

[yuri_bird]

[Yuri's wolf ears swivel forward as he hears the familiar wails of his favorite bitch and gossip buddy.]

Starling, of course you're still gorgeous. You rock those zebra stripes! Look at you! How can you not rock an awesome zebra bod?

not here

[stripartist]

[oh no]

[bebest]

[Holy shit there are so many people he KNOWS on here. He brightens considerably at this, fuck yes, appreciate his bod, Yuri!!!]

THANK you for appreciating ART like you always do, Babe. [Everyone should be so very afraid right now.] You know, maybe I can just accessorise with the stipes. You can totally accessorise with stripes, right?

[He can work this!!!]

Hey you got ears now. Fuzzy ones. Like my what big ears you've got, kind of ears. LOVE those.

video; un: riftdancer

[thavnairian]

[Amal rubs his chin. He has huge elf ears, but they're nothing like what this guy is dealing with.]

... Are those hot pants up for grabs?

Also, yes, you're still very good looking. Granted, I don't know what you looked like before, but you're certainly gorgeous just the way that you are now.

[bebest]

[How do you even handle having zebra ears now? He doesn't know!!!! He dabs his eyes dramatically.]

I'd be willing to part with them if they went to a good home where they could be worn on a hot tushie again.

[He casts Amal a quick lookie-loo, before smiling.]

Which HEY, looks like you qualify with flying colours! [And yes, good, thank you for inflating his ego!] Mostly like this but with human legs and ears. But THANK you, I am gorgeous and it's good of your to point it out.

[Zulius you literally demanded it. ]

video; un:vinviv

[mehjin]

Hi, welcome to this bullshit.

[the girl saying this looks to still have a human body plan, at least... except she's made of purple taffy.]

[bebest]

I want a refund. And maybe some money-off coupons for emotional damage.

[He didn't ask for ANY of this!!! He casks her a look.]

Oh...wow, this is so sad. I'm legitimately sad for you. Purple is so hard to make go with anything.

un: c-z; video

[bolledivita]

[What is that screaming--

Oh dear.]

You're still definitely very pretty. And I feel like in terms of sudden transformations, one could have had worse luck.

[bebest]

[He is so pleased to have people tell him that he's still pretty. This is very important to his well-being!!]

I AM still pretty, you're very right!

[Did he need anyone to tell him that? No, but he asked for it anyway.]

Right?! This feels really Extra. Like has anyone else got a whole other lower body? I don't think so! God, I think I've got- [he's checking] yup, TWO ribcages now.

video | un: deadpeopletea

[four_quarts]

[Oh. Oh, this sure does look to be Ghaleon's favorite theatre owner to trade barbs about their respective fashion senses with. The true selling point of that particular theater over the others, really, at least in his opinion.]

Trust me, dear. The fact that you can be rid of those things is a blessing. Stripes you can at least work with.

[bebest]

[Zulius points at the screen like he's doing the Leonardo DiCaprio meme.]

Hey, it's YOU! And wow, rude, the stripes might be amazing but those hot pants were the most beautiful thing I ever owned.

...Or at least in the top five of most beautiful things I've ever owned.

Video | UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

[When Rose opens up the app, she lets out a chuckle. This is exactly what she needed.]

I'm not sure about pretty, but I'd say you're cute, at the very least.

[bebest]

[He is here to SERVE!]

I guess I can take cute- but that feels like a solid downgrade from pretty and that's just heartbreaking.