un: fern

[laminae]

WHO: Fern and open!
WHERE: Network, in front of the highschool.
WHEN: Today.
WHAT: Varian's shrine arrives.
WARNINGS: Kid having a unrequited crush on an adult.

[When the video starts it looks to be out in front of Kaisou Highschool. Not anything unusual, teenagers are all about the social media!

Except the video is focused on... a bunch of pictures? Actually, it looks more like a full-on shrine to a very handsome man named Flynn Rider.

Who is also a criminal, if that wanted poster is anything to go by.]

Ooookay, so this thing was just - in front of the school, like someone picked it up and dropped it. And I kinda get being so into someone that you get real attached to a lock of their hair....

[He really, really can't judge there, given he did it with PB when he was younger and still Finn.]

But is this a weird thing for your boyfriend to have? Is it normal for humans? Should I be worried? I -

[Fern stops abruptly when he notices a small gaggle of teenagers nearby, clustered together. A few of them have their phones out, pointed at the shrine, and they're giggling. He doesn't like that - oh boy, he doesn't like that at all. He lets out an inhuman hiss and suddenly the video is going all shaky as he starts towards them.]

Hey! Knock it off you dillweeds! You wanna sock to the face for making fun of him?!

[And then the feed goes dead. Guess who's getting detention today!]

Comments

Not here

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot opens up this post, and watches the feed.

And then he promptly closes out of the feed. Nope. He is not touching this one with a ten foot pole. He can listen to Varian's list of crimes, he can help him deal with dinosaurs, and he can even put up with his overachieving stunts in class. But he draws the line at romance. Or. whatever this thing is.

NOX, YOU DEAL WITH THIS ONE. HE'S OUT.]

Also not here

[laminae]

[Elliot deserves a break from teenage nonsense. Let the poor guy take a nap.]

Action /video for anyone catching it

[droptheious]

[Varian wants to die. He just wants to dig a hole in the ground and die. He's been though a lot in his short life but nothing could have prepared him for the utter humiliation of high school- especially when your childhood collection shows up right at the school entrance where everyone can see it.

Luckily the ground does open up before him as if responding to his wishes and Varian, red-faced, slumps into it. This is his hole now. It's where he lives. After a while, a little arm reaches out to start pulling items from the shrine into the hole- trying his best to ignore the teenage snickering going on around him.

Fern's post is just a cherry on top of the horror, honestly. It's a Mortification Cherry.]

This is just a nightmare. This is just a horrible nightmare and I'll wake up in my bed any second.

[Action]

[schrodingersghost]

[....Danny wasn't actually sure what to say about this. Especially since this was his first time running into Varian since their last conversation.]

....Uh, do you need some help?

[droptheious]

[It's fine, it's all totally fine. Varian groans softly as he realises more people are coming to this circus.]

I don't know. Have you got a shovel?

[TRUE bros will bury their bros alive, Danny.]

[schrodingersghost]

Can't say I usually carry one of those around. Is this a problem that can be solve by turning invisible and/or intangible? Because I've got that."

[laminae]

[Don't worry, Fern's going to go scare off those other teenagers! He's even slugging one in the face! What a good boyfriend.

Then, when he catches sight of the hole and Varian's arm pulling things off the shrine, he heads back over, crouching down.]

Um, you okay?

[Dumb, stupid question.]

[droptheious]

[He's such a good boyfriend. A true hero.]

Oh, I don't know. Something from my childhood showed up here and now everyone can see it and I guess it's weird so I'm just planning on staying here in this dirt hole until I die or the embarrassment ends. Whichever comes first.

[laminae]

Oh.

[He hesitates, then reaches down to pat Varian's head gently.]

How long do you think the embarrassment will go on for? 'Cause I'm not gonna let my boyfriend live in a hole.

Action;

[onebadapple]

[As Snow White attends the same high school as Fern and Varian, it's a bit hard NOT to come across this and she blinks as she sees the shrine and then Varian's reaction. When a hand reaches up to pull one of the books in, she shoos away some of the other children, and those who won't be shooed suddenly find out what "swooping season" means from the crows.

She comes over to his hole and rests a hand on his wrist.]

Varian, sweetie, why don't you come out?

[droptheious]

[Varian's hand was reaching for the single boot when Snow puts a hand on his wrist. He lets it flop to the ground with a petulant sigh.]

No, no no. I think I'm just gonna live in this hole now. It's fine. It's a nice hole.

[onebadapple]

While I have no doubt you would make a wonderful burrow for yourself, and you're doing all the rabbits, voles, moles, badgers, foxes, ground owls, tortoises, stoats, and really every animal that burrows proud right now, you don't belong in a hole.

Action

[findingways]

[ Moana doesn't even bother with an answer just yet; as soon as she sees what's happening, she quickly heads to the front of the high school.

She's not entirely surprised to see groups of teens still hanging around, talking and laughing to themselves as they gesture towards Varian in the hole. Which is why Moana has a notebook out and ready, and as soon as she gets close enough she starts tearing pages to crumple up and lob at the gawkers. ]

Get out of here! Leave him alone! Like it's any different from your rooms obsessing over sports teams and K-Pop groups! [ There are some scandalized gasps, and Moana chucks more paper balls at them. ] Yeah, that's right, everyone knows about them! Now get lost!

[ With a grumble over the group of teens, they eventually begin to disperse, though Moana keeps a paper ball up just in case any of them try to linger. Once they're all gone she huffs, shoving the wad into her pocket before peering down into the hole. ]

...You gonna be okay?

[droptheious]

[She is a true hero, honestly. Varian has no idea what a K-Pop is but he does recognise Mona's voice and as mortifying as it is to have people staring at this- it's a lot easier having her around. She tends to be a lot less...judgemental.

He'll peer back up at her, awkward.]

I don't know, how long does teenager mortification last for? I've never had to deal with this before. ...Thanks, though. For chasing them off.

[Action]

[a_cute_batata]

Hey.

[Luz waits until after she's used her plant glyph to start moving students away. Who's using magic, her? That's just silly, no such thing as magic, duh!

But once they're gone, Luz hunkers down next to the hole, offering a hand].

You've got nothing to be embarrassed about. Honestly, that guy? Really good looking. Can't say you have bad taste. It just stinks that people have to make fun of you for it.

But I'm guessing this is one of your first school public humiliations, huh?

[droptheious]

[Varian doesn't see what moves the students, only their confused voices as they're shifted. Once Luz comes into view, though, she doesn't exactly get a warm welcome. He folds his arms, staying in his hole and not taking her hand.

He is very aware of her last conversation with Fern and it doesn't sit well with him at all.]

Not bad taste for a guy who's dating someone who's practically a houseplant, huh?

[He does not appreciate her dehumanisation of his boyfriend. ]

Never been to school before coming to Kaisou, so yeah. Thanks, you're welcome to leave now.

UN: hikari-vi | video

[whiteshroud]

[Jun is a college student, so he can only react to this over the network. He looks very thoughtfully]

So he idolizes a criminal to the point of obsession. Interesting....

[ I've connected the dots ]

video

[drewthetower]

Dude, that's a book series there, isn't it? He's probably just a stan.

video

[whiteshroud]

But what if it's a book series on the guy's crimes?

[laminae]

[It'll be a few minutes before Fern replies, needing to fend off those teens and all.]

Interesting? What d'ya mean by that?

[whiteshroud]

Well, it's interesting because some criminals will idolize other more famous criminals to a rather severe degree.

Video; UN: Wishforsunshine

[onebadapple]

Oh my! Should I send some of my birds to help shoo people along?

[laminae]

Yeah! You got any huge birds that can carry people off?

[Morrow would come in super handy right now.]

[onebadapple]

Fern dear, it would take nine bald eagles to lift a human off the ground... and admittedly I CAN call nine bald eagles to help, but they don't live in this city.

And all the pterodactyls went home already.

Not here

[four_quarts]

[Ghaleon watches the feed to the end, closes his phone, and goes to add a shot of whiskey to his tea.

He's just... going to leave this be, because he's sure not getting paid for the war flashbacks this would inevitably cause. Not his circus, not his monkeys.]