kaisou | video; un: doordasher

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video; un: doordasher

WHO: Hermes
WHERE: Network: Libra
WHEN: Very end of June
WHAT: Announcement from HERMES
WARNINGS: None

What is UP everybody? Did you miss me? I missed me.

[What.]

Sort of. Anyways! Hi. Hermes here.

And I gotta say like, that Birthday Skeleton guy? Scared the crap out of me! But he was so chill! Ominous, but chill. Kinda like Charon but without the - [They hold their arms out like a stereotypical zombie.] - uuuUUGHHHnnnn! stuff, y'know?

So - like - checkthisout!!

[Hermes plops the camera down, on a convenient table or chair or something. Not important. They're also holding the brick boomerang Persephone gave them last year. Winding it up to...]

[Why are they throwing it at themselves?]

[But not to worry! It somehow bounces off their face, like it hit some kind of invisible barrier. And falls harmlessly to the ground. Hermes just plain beams, throwing the camera thumbs up with both hands.]

I'm invincible!!

[They take a step forward to fully flex on their excited pose and... stub their toe on the brick. Hermes yelps, and flops forward to shut the camera off.]

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Hey, you're doing great! Ooh, imagine the stunts you could do with that ability.

I know, right?

It's just my hat though, so like... kiiiinda need that.

Wait, just your hat, really? That's still pretty cool, though! As long as you're wearing your hat you're invincible.

Yeah, that's what Skeleman said. Still rules, yeah!

I know right?!

I am compelled to ask how you discovered this.

Oh! Easy!

Birthday skeleton said so.

[Hermes, why are you like this. ]

...Please tell me that you discovered this ability before you threw a brick at your own head?

[She's asking JUST IN CASE. Because she can believe anything with them. ]

Anyway. That is... good news, at least. I can breathe a little easier if you are safe from a physical attack.

uhhhhh yeah??? birthday skeleton said so! lol im not just gonna throw stuff at my face ok maybe like a pillow or something idk but NOT a brick yeah you can!!! :D :D :D

[They are conveniently not mentioning it's a 1 Per Day thing.]

Yes, he is... a creature of this world. Did I forget to mention him?

[ Yes, Persephone, you forgot to mention him!!! ]

I am somewhat glad to hear you at least know now to throw bricks at your own face on the regular. So you tested it by throwing a pillow at yourself?

It has been a worry for me. So this does help.

[No she's not getting deeper into the worry you can't make her. ]

uhhhh YES?? just a BIT? YEAH smart right??? i thought it was smart lmao at first i was like WHAT WOULD PERSE do but then i figured u uh you would just use a knife and weeeeeeeeee arent doing that so!! what would hermes do while thinking what would perse do and: pillow ... really? um im sorry

Ah. Well. Now you know about him.

[ She can metaphorically dust her hands, her work here is done!!! Flawless work!! ]

...

I probably wouldn't have used a knife on myself. [Someone else though? Sure!]

Still, it was a good first test. And now we know you are safe.

You do not need to apologise. It is normal to worry about those you care about. It is nothing to feel sorry or ashamed for.

is he related to charon?? cause like - total family resemblance lol "probably"????? yeah well it ok ok cool no more worrying about hermes!

I don't believe charon has any relatives, but given their natures, I would not be surprised if that were the case.

Yes. Probably.

[ They both know the truth. She won't say it but they both know. ]

I will likely still worry about you a little. But less than I used to. Though I expect you'll still be planning to keep clear of the danger around here?

maybe you should ask the birthday guy when he comes for you! thats good lol i uh i dont like making people worry :) but yeah totally im not gonna go charging around like HERMES HERE TO SAVE YOU GUYS GALS AND ENBY PALS yet

He came for me in January. That is ... not my birthday, but I believe he tends to just aim for that day for the divine. There are a few who gave it that way. Given your Hermes memories haven't settled in yet, I suppose it keeps to your current birthday.

I know you don't, but that goes hand in hand with people caring about you. But good, perhaps this will help you with guiding people to saftey now? Less chance of being caught in the crossfire as you do so.

The yet is concerning.

Huh must have been i totally didnt think about it lol when is your birthday tho?? oh man ur right!!! im gonna do SO MUCH COOL HERMES SHIT its ok i just mean like "yet" if i get more cool invulnerability stuff

I honestly do not remember. I have had so many lives they all... meld into one. When you start to remember, you'll feel it, too, more than likely. I don't mind so much. I have seen so many centuries, it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't much care to celebrate it.

[ She doesn't even care about her BIRTHDAY, Hermes!!! ]

Truly. You will be able to achieve quite a potential here, I believe. I'm sure it will be very impressive.

Okay. I am now... less concerned. For the time being.

but theres cake! or theres like supposed to be and your friends are there! like ME id totally be there hey though do u think being HERE is gonna like change how memories happen?

I am aware of what is involved. I have never really been one for... so much social gathering. I am content with it passing with little fanfare.

That's-

...Actually a good point. From what I understand, our world is paused, while we are trapped here. And while your Hermes memories are still in there, we are also not connected to our home world, currently. It is possible that it might affect them. Perhaps you'll have more time? Perhaps they will not start until we return back to where we belong.

There is so much we don't know about the process. [ No. She remembers what Calliope told her. ] There is so much we don't remember about it. It's something of an unknown even back home. Here? Doubly so.

what about cake tho?? huh i made a good point? AWESOME!! thats cooler than like anything else you just said which i totally read remember? it makes us forget?

I'm largely ambivalent.

You did. Incredibly, it seems even you can manage it once in a while. And yes. I'm sure you did.

I spoke to Calliope about it in the Underworld. After so many lives lived, things start to get... lost. Reflections of reflections, is how she put it.

what about like pie?? or donuts? OH OH those little french cookie and cream things??? moroccos?

[... They mean macrons.]

oh yeah that thats def a way to find stuff out huh? but maybe ur right and we dont really have to worry about being double reflections here?

Macrons. And again, largely ambivalent. They are a pleasant enough treat, but I'm not going to go out of my way to get some. I certainly don't see them as a vital part of a celebration. Though... admittedly, celebrations aren't really something I care much for anyway.

[Celebrations mean a lot of people, and Persephone much prefers her own company. ]

That is the hope. I have been in this realm for a while now, and not notice anything that should raise concern. Perhaps we can just... exist here for a while.

ok then what DO you like for a idk fun pastry??? not even like birthday pastry but 'oh man i gotta treat myself'? cause like i like a lot of stuff so im curious that thatd be cool real cool :)

Hermes, if I want to treat myself, I do it with a glass of well-aged bourbon.

[Sorry Hermes, she is allergic to fun and that includes pastries. ]

That does not surprise me in the least. You are certainly more... outgoing between the two of us.

Hah. It would be a break if nothing else, though I do miss my Underworld. I've only just gotten it back, after all.

ohhhh ok whats "well aged" mean???

[Are they planning something? Yes. But shhh.]

lol i know but thats cool cause i know U like ME like this arent u like queen of landlords or something here? i know its not the UNDERWORLD beleiev me i kno but thats... something yea??

It means that it has had time without being drunk. Usually a few years. It lends to a deeper, richer flavour.

Yes, despite myself, I do indeed, like you like this.

I mean.
Yes. It is something. And I have my own realm here now. But I still miss my kingdom. It had taken me a thousand years to get it back, and it's rather a sore spot that I have been torn away from my throne once again.

so... the older it is the better it is? AWWWW :D :D :D dont worry im not gonna tell yeah i know its not much yeah?? but like i guess its better than nothing is what im trying to say?

Yes, exactly that. Often more expensive, too.

I'm going to pretend I don't see the emojis for my own sanity.

That is a fair way to put it, I suppose. And I am close to the people I have here. They mean... a lot to me.

ohhhhh ok more expensive is........ better? aw you mean a lot to them too :) i can say that cause like i hope im one of them lol

Not always, despite what capitalism might tell you. But with bourbon? Yes.

I'm sure I do. It is... a comfort, I suppose. I am not used to being... wanted by people.

[ After all, most of the Idols did their very best to avoid her- from pity before she murdered Hades and from fear after. It's nice not to have that. She still doesn't quite know how to process it. ]

Of course you are one of them, Hermes. You are my family.

...Not in the derogatory way.

lmaaaaaaaaaaaao capitalism booooo but ok cool good 2 know about the alcohol really?? i thought like people used to worship you and stuff

["and stuff" jfc Hermes do you know anything about your own family lore.]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww youre gonna make me get all gross and sappy :) :)

"I certainly hope you're not planning on putting that to the test..."

Hermes was still her friend's friend, she didn't want them getting hurt due to there being some kryptonite-style weakness they ran afoul of.

Uhhhhhh...

Which part?

"Throwing things at yourself to see what you're now 'invincible' to."

Oh! Yeah!

But I mean like... pillows and plushes. Maybe a magazine.

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