UN Zodiac | April Showers Bring...

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: April 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[The winds of March die down as we step into April, leaving a pleasant spring evening. The spirit vein's colors change to shades of orange and and yellow to represent the earth element. Everyone's devices will emit a soothing wind chime sound as a new Zodiac post appears. The chime will sound even if you have your phone turned off or on silent, and will not stop until you read their messsage and comment to it.]


Wei Wuxian has joined the app. Say hi everyone!


Kohga, G'raha, Choso, and Ruby have left the app.

[The post then continues on.]

Hello and thank you for using the Libra app.

Happy April everyone! We at Zodiac would like to thank everyone for assisting us with the Fae. According to our reports, the Fae Court have finally moved on and will hopefully be gone for the forseeable future. Unfortunately, we still haven't found a good countermeasure for Fae curses, so if you were unfortunate to be cursed by them during their visit, we offer our condolence but also want to tell you that it'll be okay! Lots of people have been cursed by the Fae and have gone on to lead lives.

However, we understand at Zodiac that this year has been quite a lot for many folks. So we're happy to say we're currently in talks with a business partner about a vacation trip for everyone! We can't release the details yet as some things be finalized, but look forward for a chance for your own spring break and chance to get away from it all! 😎

That's all for now! We'll leave you off with our icebreaker question.




This post is sponsored by Songerein Bedding! You'll enjoy amazing dreams with our comforter set.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone.

Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac.

OOC Note: If you haven't responded to AC, you still have until 11:59am EST today to do so! Once you do, you'll be removed from this post. ]

Comments

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

All right, place your bets, where do we think we’re going for this vacation?

My guess is the Bahamas.

text: un: arise.

[lowestclass]

I'd love for it to be the Bahamas.
Somewhere sunny.

I can go out in the sun now. I deserve a beautiful island getaway...

[jackdawvision]

Congratulations, mate! I’m glad for you, although I personally wouldn’t recommend the Bahamas. Last time I saw them they were full of Brits who would have you arrested and tossed into jail the second you looked askance at their property.

Though that might have changed in the centuries since.

[lowestclass]

I'm relieved about it too. I feel like waking up after a long nightmare.

...

...Surely that has to have changed in the last 300 years, right!? Surely....!!!

...

Let's just go somewhere nice and not terrifying, then. Like maybe Hawaii.

[jackdawvision]

Now you and Lapis can try those breakfast menus that stop being served after noon. I’m so glad for you both.

Probably? It might no longer be a British colony, England seems to have lost quite a few of them since my time.

Like the pizza? [Local pirate knows what Hawaiian pizza is but has no idea about Hawaii.]

[lowestclass]

Yeah, like the pizza. I'm not sure why they call it 'Hawaiian' specifically, but I guess it has something to do with the pineapple on it...

...Most people don't like fruit on pizza, though, so it's a bit infamous, but.
The beaches there are apparently stunning...

[jackdawvision]

I’ve had Hawaiian pizza, it tastes just fine. Perhaps the practice originated from this Hawaii?

I could sail there, but it might take time, depending on where it is. If it’s in Europe we’re in for another month, and I’ll admit, I’m wary of running into yet another bloody sea serpent.

[lowestclass]

It was my first time on a ship that isn't one from the modern era and I have to say, not even I knew sea serpents were a risk factor when crossing the ocean...

I'm sure those things only showed up because of how many magically-infected people were on board or something like that...

...or my bad luck curse...

[jackdawvision]

Likely more just the amount of magical people on the ship than your bad luck, to be fair. I’ve never had so many people with magic on the Jackdaw before, it might’ve thought we’d make for a particularly delicious meal.

[And then it got a lot spicier meal than it bargained for.]

And hey, it even came in useful, sending us bears we could kill for their meat!

un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

You familiar with the concept of a monkey's paw?

I'd put a fiver on 'the middle of fuck-all nowhere'.

[jackdawvision]

I looked it up just now and all Google tells me is it’s a short story from 1902. Beyond that I’ve no real idea.

There’s quite a lot of “fuck-all nowhere” to be found.

[fionnuisce]

It's effectively become a figure of speech meaning 'you get a wish granted but with an unfortunate condition attached'.

For example, 'we get a vacation, but we're basically abandoned on the side of the road vaguely near some semblance of a beach'.

[prunedworlds]

That sounds like fun though?

[jackdawvision]

Ah, I’m more than familiar with that idea, just not the term. I’m guessing the story is about a wish gone awry?

Or “you go on a cruise ship and end up marooned on a deserted island.” BTW: if you do, make certain there’s no guns or explosives on the island that someone with a grudge might try to hunt you with.

Text: un: bar_cat75

[wiseoldbartender]

[Husk was summoned by the word "bet"- like magic. Or catnip, if you valued your life enough to make that connection.]

Depends. What're the stakes? If we're betting and all. What do I get if I win?

[jackdawvision]

Bragging rights?

I kid. I’ve a ship, I can take you wherever you wish on the coast if you win.

[wiseoldbartender]

So the prize for guessing our vacation spot is another fucking vacation?

[jackdawvision]

Another vacation on a ship from the 1720s! But fine, all right. Thirty dollars from me, if a ride on the Jackdaw’s not to your taste.

[wiseoldbartender]

Sounds like a great way to catch some old-timey infection. Thirty dollars works.

[Does Husk even HAVE thirty dollars? Probably not! Will it stop him from betting? NOPE!]

I bet we'll end up in some spooky fuckin' cult camp. Happy-clappy-togetherness bullshit where we're expected to better ourselves but end up indoctrinated.

[jackdawvision]

Hey, I’ll have you know, I got the Jackdaw cleaned up and we’re open to the public, and not once has anyone come away sick.

Is that how they work these days? The last shady group I found myself a part of just talked a lot about their grand vision for a new, more ordered world. I got bored and picked their pockets.

[wiseoldbartender]

No shit? No... what's a fuckin' old-timey disease? Scurvy?

Oh yeah, there's probably that kind too - but they're all about getting money and more people for the metaphorical prayer wheel.

[jackdawvision]

No scurvy. No pox, neither.

They did have quite a lot of money in their pockets. They also truly believed what they were saying, which was quite a lot of shite.

[wiseoldbartender]

Well, that shut me up. Proved me wrong. Maybe it won't be the shittiest thing in the world. I'd still rather take the money, though.

Fucking terrifying. They really drank the Kool Aid, huh.

[jackdawvision]

It really isn’t, she has wi-fi, a radio, and a generator for electricity now. If you want showers I even have one of those teapots that are bigger on the inside.

I don’t know what you mean by that, they had expensive wine, not a cheap fruit drink.

tw: suicide pact

[wiseoldbartender]

...Wait. The fuck was that last one? Magic teapots?

It means someone's all in with a cult. There was a cult in the 70s that did themselves in with poisoned... well, it probably wasn't actually Kool Aid, but that's what people say it was so that's the fuckin' narrative. Anyway, it means you're in so deep there's no way out and you're willing to even die for it.