kaisou | UN Zodiac | April Showers Bring...

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: April 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[The winds of March die down as we step into April, leaving a pleasant spring evening. The spirit vein's colors change to shades of orange and and yellow to represent the earth element. Everyone's devices will emit a soothing wind chime sound as a new Zodiac post appears. The chime will sound even if you have your phone turned off or on silent, and will not stop until you read their messsage and comment to it.]

Wei Wuxian has joined the app. Say hi everyone!

Kohga

Kohga, G'raha, Choso, and Ruby have left the app.

[The post then continues on.]

Hello and thank you for using the Libra app.

Happy April everyone! We at Zodiac would like to thank everyone for assisting us with the Fae. According to our reports, the Fae Court have finally moved on and will hopefully be gone for the forseeable future. Unfortunately, we still haven't found a good countermeasure for Fae curses, so if you were unfortunate to be cursed by them during their visit, we offer our condolence but also want to tell you that it'll be okay! Lots of people have been cursed by the Fae and have gone on to lead lives.

However, we understand at Zodiac that this year has been quite a lot for many folks. So we're happy to say we're currently in talks with a business partner about a vacation trip for everyone! We can't release the details yet as some things be finalized, but look forward for a chance for your own spring break and chance to get away from it all! 😎

That's all for now! We'll leave you off with our icebreaker question.

This post is sponsored by Songerein Bedding! You'll enjoy amazing dreams with our comforter set.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone.

Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac.

OOC Note: If you haven't responded to AC, you still have until 11:59am EST today to do so! Once you do, you'll be removed from this post. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Husk was summoned by the word "bet"- like magic. Or catnip, if you valued your life enough to make that connection.]

Depends. What're the stakes? If we're betting and all. What do I get if I win?

Bragging rights?

I kid. I’ve a ship, I can take you wherever you wish on the coast if you win.

So the prize for guessing our vacation spot is another fucking vacation?

Another vacation on a ship from the 1720s! But fine, all right. Thirty dollars from me, if a ride on the Jackdaw’s not to your taste.

Sounds like a great way to catch some old-timey infection. Thirty dollars works.

[Does Husk even HAVE thirty dollars? Probably not! Will it stop him from betting? NOPE!]

I bet we'll end up in some spooky fuckin' cult camp. Happy-clappy-togetherness bullshit where we're expected to better ourselves but end up indoctrinated.

Hey, I’ll have you know, I got the Jackdaw cleaned up and we’re open to the public, and not once has anyone come away sick.

Is that how they work these days? The last shady group I found myself a part of just talked a lot about their grand vision for a new, more ordered world. I got bored and picked their pockets.

No shit? No... what's a fuckin' old-timey disease? Scurvy?

Oh yeah, there's probably that kind too - but they're all about getting money and more people for the metaphorical prayer wheel.

No scurvy. No pox, neither.

They did have quite a lot of money in their pockets. They also truly believed what they were saying, which was quite a lot of shite.

Well, that shut me up. Proved me wrong. Maybe it won't be the shittiest thing in the world. I'd still rather take the money, though.

Fucking terrifying. They really drank the Kool Aid, huh.

It really isn’t, she has wi-fi, a radio, and a generator for electricity now. If you want showers I even have one of those teapots that are bigger on the inside.

I don’t know what you mean by that, they had expensive wine, not a cheap fruit drink.

...Wait. The fuck was that last one? Magic teapots?

It means someone's all in with a cult. There was a cult in the 70s that did themselves in with poisoned... well, it probably wasn't actually Kool Aid, but that's what people say it was so that's the fuckin' narrative. Anyway, it means you're in so deep there's no way out and you're willing to even die for it.

Aye, magic teapots. I got one from that shopkeeper at the Goodwill, you know the one.

Bloody hell. I think I knew people who did drink the Kool Aid—it wasn't so extreme as killing themselves, but they were willing enough to die for the cause this group I talked about espoused because they called them their family.

[Poor, uh, what were their names? Cockham and...no, that's not right. He definitely got them both in one go, though, that's really the most memorable thing.]

That's the fuckass who gave me a mermaid tail when my legs get wet.

Yeah, don't think most get that bad, but a lotta them are still willing to die for what they believe in. Or whatever bullshit they been fed for years anyway. Order's full of shitheads like that. They're the most dangerous.

But yeah sounds about right. They get cut off and told the cult is all that fuckin' matters, that it's their family and before you know it, they're willing to fucking die for people who don't actually give a shit about them.

I have a rat that can cook and a somewhat concerning amount of animals thanks to that very shopkeeper. His sense of humor is the sort I don’t entirely understand.

I’m aware of the sort. They held a particular dislike for pirates, but they also sincerely tried to convert people to their shadowy group and its cause.

[Like Woodes Rogers, he thinks.

In the back of his mind, Teresa’s last words drift to the forefront: You will join us or you’ll die.]

People have to belong somewhere, be a part of something bigger than themselves. Groups like the one whose pockets I picked are keen to take advantage of that for their own less than savory reasons. I suppose I’m not entirely surprised the Order’s at least vaguely similar.

You have a rat. That can cook. ... You know what? Fine. I ain't even gonna question it. Why the fuck not. Rats that can cook, sure.

[He hates this stupid fucking city!!!]

'Course they did. They'd only want to work with people who can kowtow to whoever in charge. Pirates are pretty fucking famous for doing the opposite of that.

Order's worse than that. Most of us don't get much of a fucking choice on joining or not. They ain't offering comfort or camaraderie. It's joining them or making a dice roll with oblivion.

[attached: chefratatwork.jpeg]

His name's Bonnet. He makes damn fine food and has been judging me for days for taking home all of my friend's instant ramen.

Aye, we're not very good at taking orders. A lot of us started out sailing in the navy, and they were shite at paying their sailors and letting a man move up in ranks on his own merit. It was a little bit better on a privateering vessel, but it turns out that when the war ends, if you're a privateer, you're out of a job. We lost our taste for bowing to kings after that.

[Or at least he thought so, but Hornigold sure took that pardon fast.

You will join us or you'll die.]

No better way to recruit someone than to make it clear that it's either them or death. Arseholes. [And then after that what do they do to their recruits? He thinks of what Jinwoo said, and his fist clenches.]

[He's squinting at it. Edward can't see it but he's SQUINTING.]

...Holy fuck that's a motherfucking rat chef. I think there's something chronically Wrong with this whole-ass city.

That's not a surprise. You fuck people around enough, they find a way to turn it against you. Karma's a bitch like that. Good for you for sticking it to the assholes.

[He never managed that. In this life or the last. His leash had always been tightened until the fight was crushed out of him. ]

Worse than that. We don't join up? We get Sealed- meaning they lock away our past life memories forever. Problem is, it ain't a perfect science. You can end up a vegetable pretty fuckin' easily. It ain't a risk most people are willing to take.

[Because a life chained to the Order was better than being an empty shell of who you were. Even the man who quite literally calls himself "Husk" can see that. ]

UN Zodiac | April Showers Bring...

Text: un: bar_cat75

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tw: suicide pact

tw mention of suicide

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