[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

[asipofbride]

when i die in the next ten minutes i wish to be buried in my fuckin closet

no not my fucking closet my
fuck
shit

[ action ]

[doubledollar]

[ vash, in the background, stares at the back of wolfwood's head and makes the fucking motion of digging with both hands.

its shut the fuck up friday shut the fuck up ]

[ action ]

[asipofbride]

[ what if Wolfwood also goes to the floor

maybe Dante has the right idea ]

Leave me for the worms.

[doubledollar]

[ gonna nudge him with a boot. ]

The worms on this planet aren't big enough to eat you properly.

[ action ]

[asipofbride]

They can manage it. It'll just take them a while longer.

[ he's taking his cigarettes out of his mouth and holding them to the side so he can cover his eyes. ]

Stop kickin' me. That's abuse.

[doubledollar]

I'm not kicking you, I'm nudging you with my shoe to make sure the worms don't get you.

[jackdawvision]

I don’t know, it does sound the height of romance to be buried in the place where you felt ecstasy in the arms of your beloved. Beloveds.

Wait, how does that even work, the three of you?

[advivo]

don't ask

[jackdawvision]

It sounds like a mess of limbs.

[ ACTION ]

[doubledollar]

[ S TARING VERY HARD AT WOLFWOOD WITH THIS TEXT ON HIS SCREEN ]

[asipofbride]

you're the weirdest romantic i've ever met, my guy

and the mechanics are, y'know. normal. works how you think it does.

[ Wolfwood rolled a ten so he doesn't have to talk about his monsterfucking in public thank god. ]

[jackdawvision]

I'm not the one who just got married by flying rat-things.

All right, but how do you manage to keep whose limb is whose straight in the heat of the moment?