[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

[doubledollar]

[ he's gonna come over and just flop completely over onto zulius, big gangly dramatic baby that he is. head on the top of zulius'. flop. ]

If there's no making these dumb flying rats take their dumb contract back.

Making 'the most of it' is the best idea right...

...

Wanna help me plan it. [ whine. ]

[jackdawvision]

That’s new to me. In my time the economy and the church would rather see a man and a woman married than any other arrangement. They’d have conniptions over this even leaving out the giant rat things.

If you left in the giant rat things willing to officiate any marriage, I think the priests back home would very quickly lose any business they had.

[asipofbride]

I'M SORRY I'M A LITTLE WOUND UP BY THIS SITUATION IN PARTICULAR.

[ three cigarettes. maybe three cigarettes. ]

[ornamentals]

I've read that they do. Churches like the big one in the city.

[arms crossed, eyes ahead watching outside the same window as wolfwood. he feels bad and both vash and dante look really stressed.

he huffs a sigh.]

I don't understand this place. Nothing makes sense.

1/2

[asipofbride]

are you serious

[jackdawvision]

That’s quite a romantic setting.

2/2

[asipofbride]

vash is like two inches wide and i'm a head shorter than them we fit with a lot of goddamn ingenuity

[asipofbride]

when i die in the next ten minutes i wish to be buried in my fuckin closet

no not my fucking closet my
fuck
shit

[advivo]

C'mere, give me one of those.

[ he's gonna reach out and make a grabby hand towards wolfwood, give him smoke. also give him you. ]

[venti_late]

Yep!
I believe it's near the Hyrule Gate.
You can still have the party if you want. Nothing's stopping you!

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

huh
all of that and you care about the crap they threw on my floor
it's a bunch of sparkly and shiny thin crinkly paper it's garbage

[ action ]

[doubledollar]

[ vash, in the background, stares at the back of wolfwood's head and makes the fucking motion of digging with both hands.

its shut the fuck up friday shut the fuck up ]

text ; un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

i think it's congratulations

[ he hopes it's congratulations but vash and dante are acting really wound up so he's buckling it down 100% percent ]

i didn't know flying rats could be priests and you could marry someone without any of their interest in the matter so we're all learnin new stuff today
never thought much about marriage given my job and how busy i was

[ornamentals]

vash...

why couldn't you be faster?

1/2

[doubledollar]

[asipofbride]

jokes on them i don't wear socks they make my feet itch
i dunno back home people tended to hop and broom and maybe file somethin local and when your spouse pissed you off you ran em off with a gun it's all a lot more formal here

i'll kiss the husbands when they both stop panic spiraling
dante is still on the floor
vash went after the fuckers

2/2

[doubledollar]

...you know that's really sweetof u 2 say

[ action ]

[asipofbride]

[ what if Wolfwood also goes to the floor

maybe Dante has the right idea ]

Leave me for the worms.

[ornamentals]

you want a party for everything.

[didn't they just have a party last year? once is enough.]

[asipofbride]

Get your own, you don't even have a nicotine addiction.

[ swatting at his grabby hand as he attempts to figure out the logistics of smoking three cigarettes at once. he hasn't lit the third one but the small shake in his hand indicates it might be imminent. ]

[doubledollar]

i trriieiddddddd

im not that good at flyiung u kno im lopsided bc of my arm

[doubledollar]

...parties are fun...

[doubledollar]

[ gonna nudge him with a boot. ]

The worms on this planet aren't big enough to eat you properly.

[venti_late]

ok boomer

omg
The commitment fears got to them. I'm so sorry.
...Maybe distract them with food?

[asipofbride]

[ Dante will be the last one standing as Wolfwood attempts to return to the worms in the dirt ]

and uh
what does that mean exactly
back home it's a lot more informal
people stick together until they don't, yknow?

I think Zulius wants to do a party
a big gay party
whatever that means