Text | UN: kendont

[ibuki_theater]

WHO: Ryouta and every unfortunate person on Libra
WHERE: Network
WHEN: 3/19
WHAT: Please welcome your newest idiot with a heart of gold!
WARNINGS: The biggest bi-disaster to have graced this network

mkay so i super dont remember downloading this weird af dating app onto my phone o(><；)oo
pretty sure i saw it download last night actually but i was super busy helping a lost cosplayer home from the roof of my work building
said their coat was at the dry cleaners so i walked them home like you do
(they said they're not a princess but im p sure only an actual princess would say that (￣▽￣)" )
so anyway i didnt see where youre supposed to put a profile up but my biggest beef with this app?
its rude its assuming im a libra
im like 100% sure im an aries tyvm!!! (ㆆ_ㆆ)
oh yeah im ryouta ibuki!
im going to kaisou u rn while also working part time at a 7-11 and a restaurant
nice to meet everyone (≧∇≦)ﾉ

[Five seconds later:]

wait was the sky always like that or did pride come early???
damn you guys celebrate pride harder than DC wtf Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Comments

voice; un: 000000

[scryption]

[What in the fuck. She recognizes that profile picture.]

... Ryouta?

[Why is the other overnight guy here? This is weird.]

The person on the roof doesn't make trouble. They're a customer.

[She has never bothered talking to them and that suits her just fine. She's just here to facilitate energy drinks and lottery tickets.]

[ibuki_theater]

[Wait, hang on—]

Zero? I didn't know you were in the market for a partner!

[Ryouta, please....]

Oh, really? Well, that's a—[Wait a second.]—WAIT, THAT PERSON'S REAL?! I thought I dreamed that whole thing last night!!

text · un: vinviv

[mehjin]

[oh boy.]

its not a dating app and i dont think the leprechauns care about pride

[...yeah, that's. that's it. no further explanation incoming.]

[ibuki_theater]

if its not a dating app then is it some weird astrology app my roommate downloaded for me?
it wouldnt be the first time tbh
idk why leprechauns WOULD care about anything but green cuz st paddy's was like friday iirc
thank fuck i work nowhere that sells shamrock shakes or id be dead rn

un: c-z; text

[bolledivita]

god i wish this was a dating app

and you'll get used to the sky being like that

anyway i'm caesar zeppeli, florist and worker at the vogue theatre

1/2

[ibuki_theater]

nice to meet you caesar! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
its not? damn i was hoping
guess its a weirdo astrology app?? with social media features?
wait whats the character limit on these posts
okay im gonna have to like do an experiment hang on
like i need to Know
we ALL need to know
im doing everyone a service here in finding out the absolute limit of what these posts can handle for characters
OKAY HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

okay so you know professor velvet over in the chem department?
long black hair looks like a chainsmoking prince who could mess you up and youd thank him for it while also yelling at you?
and
again
youd thank him for it?
MAN i wish hed let up on the assignments theyre all so hard and lengthy
my smooth brain can only handle so much (ㆆ_ㆆ)
and yet he insists on giving out all that info with a pretty face
like damn at least have pity on the rest of us professor wtf
not all of us can keep up
ah fuck wait if he sees this and is on the app im so screwed with my next assignment (ノへ￣、)
im on a MISSION though so i cant take all that back or else i lose like five hundred characters eff me man
guess im just pushing forward then FORGET I SAID ALL OF THIS

okay so do you read archive of our own fanfics?
doesnt matter because im telling you all about my fave author
magical-vi YOU SHOULD SUPER TOTALLY CHECK THEM OUT!!!!!!
they write so well and even though some of the subject material goes WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY over my head
it still feels really professional!!!
they could definitely make a career out of it but boy am i just happy that they decided to bless us readers on ao3 with their gift of writing
ive never seen a single episode of magical girl alisa though but maybe i should check it out :|a
i remember reading a recommendation from tumblr about their fanfics so i mean clearly theres something in that show that brings joy to them
actually theres a bunch of magical girl fanfiction they write now that i think about it
maybe i should try out the entire genre
im not sure where to start though since dear god in heaven is there SOOOOOOOO MUCH MAGICAL GIRL
not that i can say anything about it when there are a million isekai anime manga and light novels
like damn i wish i had the confidence and attention span of an isekai writer

damn most posts would have broken by now and told me ive reached the limit (°ー°〃)
uhhhhhhh what else...
OH WAIT WHAT IF I MAKE THIS EASIER ON MYSELF AND JUST POST SOMETHING THATS PUBLIC DOMAIN AND SEE IF I BREAK THIS THING
do you think taylor swift would be mad if i posted the lyrics to her entire discography on here?
OH WAIT WHAT ABOUT THAT FAKE LATIN TEXT I'LL JUST POST THAT OVER AND OVER
LETS GO

[And the rest of this is literally a wall of lorem ipsum text until he reaches the 300K character limit.]

2/2

[ibuki_theater]

[And then....]

WAIT SHIT I FORGOT TO COUNT HOW MANY CHARACTERS THAT WAS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

im never one to assume
but
i think thats princess behavior
denying being a princess and yet having all the qualifications of being a princess
they were probably just being humble?

also speaking of princesses i think the app is named after a really pretty person who lives in the city....

[ibuki_theater]

omg you get me!!
granted i mightve just dreamed them up bc i was working late shift last night
first time i wouldve dreamt about a princess tho ngl
still!!! if theyre real theyre def a princess youre absolutely correct

[SAYS WHO?!]

what really???
hang on who the eff names their kid libra
should we call child services or is this libra person an adult and should have an intervention?

UN: hikari-vi; Text

[whiteshroud]

[The "Princess" had spent the morning happily thinking back on the night they had, much like anyone would after a night of a fun one-off encounter. A nice little fantasy that he can file away as a fun memory.

What he wasn't expecting when he logged onto Libra was to see that said fantasy be plastered straight onto the app where anyone who knows him could easily piece it together. His warm feelings of happiness quickly change into horror as he reads through this entry and processes the gravity of this situation: all of Kaisou knows about his princess kink. Was people finding out about his past with Krusnik not enough??

And not only that, but despite the night they had, this idiot was still trying to use the app to pick up other people!!! The audacity of this guy!!!

Jun wants to die. Lord, please open the earth and swallow him hole. Or swallow this guy whole. Either way, he'll take it. Doesn't matter if it means going to Hell because clearly that's where he is right now.

He's half considering throwing his phone out the window. But no. He'll force himself to respond curtly]

Yes. Thank you for walking me home.
Got my coat from the dry cleaners this morning.
Won't happen again.

[WE'RE DONE SIR!! DONE!!! ]

[ibuki_theater]

[Processing....

Buffering...............................

💡]

OH MY GOD YOURE REAL
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DREAM
uhhhhh did i mess up :(
oh no i did didnt i?
im sorryyyyyyy (┬┬﹏┬┬)
i dont know what i did but im sorry
esp if i said anything really weird last night
OH MY GOD I DID DIDNT I
AW HECK

1/3

[drewthetower]

[Oh look another newbie--

Wait. Roof. Work building. Cosplayer.]

2/3

[drewthetower]

[Read read read--

Oh.

Oh holy shit.

Oh holy shit Jun got caught. And by one of his past life's people.]

text | un: blackbirdtarot | okay we're done

[drewthetower]

[Focus, August. You can tease Jun in private later, when he's not having an obvious crisis.

So hi, Ryouta, you might recognize this username as "the tailoring and tarot guy on Twitter and Insta".]

not a dating app sorry

hi welcome to Libra magic is real, that's why the sky is all fucked up, and now you get to see that shit

text; un: rschwarzer

[motiv8]

[A lost cosplayer on the roof? ...Oh dear.]

頑張ってね、 純くん 。

[And with that out of the way, he ought to respond to Ryouta himself.]

Hi there, Ryouta!

As a couple of others have pointed out, this is not a dating app. You're on this app because you have some sort of magical connection to something called the Spirit Realm, and so does everyone else on here. I know, it all sounds made up, but I promise you it's not. Those colors in the sky you're suddenly seeing are because of that same connection.

I can try to explain more of it if you want, but it's kind of hard to know where to start, so feel free to ask questions!

The name of the app is... I think just a joke because the corporation behind it is called "Zodiac?" I don't think it has any relation to our own astrology, haha. I'm a Taurus, myself, so it would be wrong for me, too. (⌒‿⌒)

[ibuki_theater]

[!!! Someone who also knows Japanese?!]

you know a jun too??

[Clearly that's important.]

so im told that its not like pulling rabbits out of a hat magic but i literally have no idea what the eff all of this even is

i just work at a 7-11 part time my guy this is way above my pay grade

????? is zodiac just a bunch of star sign corporations??? uhhh also super dont know my star signs v well like my roomie does but is that the goat mermaid?

UN: hikari-vi

[whiteshroud]

あ...　遼太さんは日本語を読むます、でも ありがとう リィン君！

[YOU TRIED REAN...YOU TRIED.]

video; un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

[hey ryouta

do you like anime? because this guy knows nothing about that and is just here to help but also knows fuck all about this world's star signs.]

Libra is the name of the app, I doubt it has associations with you specifically. Ah, but the sky has indeed looked this way for some time. 'Tis only due to you having access to the app that you're able to see it.

[ibuki_theater]

[..........................]

Dude! Nice scales! Are you half-dragon or something? That's so cool!

[This is the most important thing, clearly.]

I'm still not super clear on how the hell a phone app can make me see all of this, but I guess I just gotta roll with it, huh?

text | UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

I'm not sure what a cosplayer is, but I doubt that Kaisou has any actual princesses.

I would like to ask what an "Aries" is, but I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

[ibuki_theater]

a cosplayer is someone who dresses up in the outfit of their favorite character and go to conventions to hang out or promote their business!

its a star sign in the zodiac. iirc its the one thats the ram constellation. my moms super into it so thats the only reason i know tbh

text: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

Oh-em-gee, I thought this was a dating app too! Like, it sounds EXACTLY like a dating app, right? But nope. Apparently, it's just where people talk but they talk openly like SO MUCH. So if you like tea being spilt (and who doesn't?) this place is great for that!

[You fuckers private almost nothing and he's here learning all your secrets!]

Not pride yet, but you better believe it's gonna be amazing here when it does come around. I got PLANS.

Anyway, what did your princess cosplayer look like? Do you wanna find them again? Did they drop a shoe? Are you gonna Cinder their Ella?

[ibuki_theater]

[The world is holding its breath as these two unstoppable forces meet.]

IT SUPER LOOKS LIKE A DATING APP we should petition them to change it!! less confusion you know??? also hell yes im here for the T E A its one of the reasons i keep working as a waiter!

omg im looking forward to it then!! i was in the middle of moving while pride was going on in kaisou i was so sad

BRO this cosplayer had green hair which is not something i normally see on literally anyone but he pulled it off! couldnt tell in the dark if his eyes were purple or pink tho. can 100% confirm they have a v pretty face. he was wearing a lot of layers so i couldnt tell you his build but they were def shorter than me even with the heels he was strutting in!

OH WAIT FUCK HES ON THE APP AND CAN SEE THIS

AAAAAAH SHIT

anonymous || text

[blackhand]

Finally, someone making sense. I'm surprised people are this careless about it.

[HELLO WEIRD, OVER-ECCENTRIC PERSON HE DOESN'T KNOW, THANK YOU FOR SAYING THE THING THAT COUNTS HERE. He has never heard "spill the tea," but yes, one mysterious anon answering about secrets, hello.]

text; un: wisteria

[reenforces]

[A bit after Jun has already commented--]

It's nice to meet you properly, Ryouta.

[Perhaps it's a good thing that text doesn't carry his somewhat mischievous tone.]

If you ignore all of the rampant supernatural dangers this is actually a nice place to live.

I'm Assistant Wisteria, but you can call me Mikleo if you'd like. I'm with an organization called POKEGO that conducts research on places like this. I'm sure you have more questions; I can try to answer them.

[ibuki_theater]

wait weve met before?

i dont know anyone named miley
*miley
*MILEY
*M I K L E O
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD PHONE PLS
bro im just gonna call you miley on my phone from now on im sorry

so uh whats pokego?
is it just a nerd org?