Text | UN: kendont

[ibuki_theater]

WHO: Ryouta and every unfortunate person on Libra
WHERE: Network
WHEN: 3/19
WHAT: Please welcome your newest idiot with a heart of gold!
WARNINGS: The biggest bi-disaster to have graced this network

mkay so i super dont remember downloading this weird af dating app onto my phone o(><；)oo
pretty sure i saw it download last night actually but i was super busy helping a lost cosplayer home from the roof of my work building
said their coat was at the dry cleaners so i walked them home like you do
(they said they're not a princess but im p sure only an actual princess would say that (￣▽￣)" )
so anyway i didnt see where youre supposed to put a profile up but my biggest beef with this app?
its rude its assuming im a libra
im like 100% sure im an aries tyvm!!! (ㆆ_ㆆ)
oh yeah im ryouta ibuki!
im going to kaisou u rn while also working part time at a 7-11 and a restaurant
nice to meet everyone (≧∇≦)ﾉ

[Five seconds later:]

wait was the sky always like that or did pride come early???
damn you guys celebrate pride harder than DC wtf Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Comments

voice; un: 000000

[scryption]

[What in the fuck. She recognizes that profile picture.]

... Ryouta?

[Why is the other overnight guy here? This is weird.]

The person on the roof doesn't make trouble. They're a customer.

[She has never bothered talking to them and that suits her just fine. She's just here to facilitate energy drinks and lottery tickets.]

text · un: vinviv

[mehjin]

[oh boy.]

its not a dating app and i dont think the leprechauns care about pride

[...yeah, that's. that's it. no further explanation incoming.]

un: c-z; text

[bolledivita]

god i wish this was a dating app

and you'll get used to the sky being like that

anyway i'm caesar zeppeli, florist and worker at the vogue theatre

[ibuki_theater]

[Wait, hang on—]

Zero? I didn't know you were in the market for a partner!

[Ryouta, please....]

Oh, really? Well, that's a—[Wait a second.]—WAIT, THAT PERSON'S REAL?! I thought I dreamed that whole thing last night!!

[ibuki_theater]

if its not a dating app then is it some weird astrology app my roommate downloaded for me?
it wouldnt be the first time tbh
idk why leprechauns WOULD care about anything but green cuz st paddy's was like friday iirc
thank fuck i work nowhere that sells shamrock shakes or id be dead rn

[scryption]

[Ryouta has so much energy and she is just. The absence of light personified.]

A partner in... what? I am not seeking a partner. I am capable of handling most threats on my own.

[This is probably the most he has ever spoken to the weirdo coworker at the convenience store.]

Is there some reason they would not be real? [She just does not get it.]

text; un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

im never one to assume
but
i think thats princess behavior
denying being a princess and yet having all the qualifications of being a princess
they were probably just being humble?

also speaking of princesses i think the app is named after a really pretty person who lives in the city....

[mehjin]

it downloaded itself and its a chat app for magical weirdos

which youre one of now so congrats

and idk theyre the ones who made the rainbows apparently

1/2

[ibuki_theater]

nice to meet you caesar! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
its not? damn i was hoping
guess its a weirdo astrology app?? with social media features?
wait whats the character limit on these posts
okay im gonna have to like do an experiment hang on
like i need to Know
we ALL need to know
im doing everyone a service here in finding out the absolute limit of what these posts can handle for characters
OKAY HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

okay so you know professor velvet over in the chem department?
long black hair looks like a chainsmoking prince who could mess you up and youd thank him for it while also yelling at you?
and
again
youd thank him for it?
MAN i wish hed let up on the assignments theyre all so hard and lengthy
my smooth brain can only handle so much (ㆆ_ㆆ)
and yet he insists on giving out all that info with a pretty face
like damn at least have pity on the rest of us professor wtf
not all of us can keep up
ah fuck wait if he sees this and is on the app im so screwed with my next assignment (ノへ￣、)
im on a MISSION though so i cant take all that back or else i lose like five hundred characters eff me man
guess im just pushing forward then FORGET I SAID ALL OF THIS

okay so do you read archive of our own fanfics?
doesnt matter because im telling you all about my fave author
magical-vi YOU SHOULD SUPER TOTALLY CHECK THEM OUT!!!!!!
they write so well and even though some of the subject material goes WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY over my head
it still feels really professional!!!
they could definitely make a career out of it but boy am i just happy that they decided to bless us readers on ao3 with their gift of writing
ive never seen a single episode of magical girl alisa though but maybe i should check it out :|a
i remember reading a recommendation from tumblr about their fanfics so i mean clearly theres something in that show that brings joy to them
actually theres a bunch of magical girl fanfiction they write now that i think about it
maybe i should try out the entire genre
im not sure where to start though since dear god in heaven is there SOOOOOOOO MUCH MAGICAL GIRL
not that i can say anything about it when there are a million isekai anime manga and light novels
like damn i wish i had the confidence and attention span of an isekai writer

damn most posts would have broken by now and told me ive reached the limit (°ー°〃)
uhhhhhhh what else...
OH WAIT WHAT IF I MAKE THIS EASIER ON MYSELF AND JUST POST SOMETHING THATS PUBLIC DOMAIN AND SEE IF I BREAK THIS THING
do you think taylor swift would be mad if i posted the lyrics to her entire discography on here?
OH WAIT WHAT ABOUT THAT FAKE LATIN TEXT I'LL JUST POST THAT OVER AND OVER
LETS GO

[And the rest of this is literally a wall of lorem ipsum text until he reaches the 300K character limit.]

2/2

[ibuki_theater]

[And then....]

WAIT SHIT I FORGOT TO COUNT HOW MANY CHARACTERS THAT WAS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

spectacular news: i can read this

i'm going to hit you with my cane and i don't know when i'll stop

[ibuki_theater]

[FUCK—]

NOOOOOOO!!!
HAVE MERCY ON ME PROFESSORRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
HELP

[fionnuisce]

i appreciate the glowing praise but keep it to yourself next time

lorem ipsum exists for exactly this purpose so you don't have to word vomit such complete absurdity. next time START with that one.

[bolledivita]

[Give him a sec to just... pull up a word counter. Copy. Paste.]

huh. 300k. impressive

also definitely check out magical girl alisa, i started watching it because of a friend recently and it really is good

UN: hikari-vi; Text

[whiteshroud]

[The "Princess" had spent the morning happily thinking back on the night they had, much like anyone would after a night of a fun one-off encounter. A nice little fantasy that he can file away as a fun memory.

What he wasn't expecting when he logged onto Libra was to see that said fantasy be plastered straight onto the app where anyone who knows him could easily piece it together. His warm feelings of happiness quickly change into horror as he reads through this entry and processes the gravity of this situation: all of Kaisou knows about his princess kink. Was people finding out about his past with Krusnik not enough??

And not only that, but despite the night they had, this idiot was still trying to use the app to pick up other people!!! The audacity of this guy!!!

Jun wants to die. Lord, please open the earth and swallow him hole. Or swallow this guy whole. Either way, he'll take it. Doesn't matter if it means going to Hell because clearly that's where he is right now.

He's half considering throwing his phone out the window. But no. He'll force himself to respond curtly]

Yes. Thank you for walking me home.
Got my coat from the dry cleaners this morning.
Won't happen again.

[WE'RE DONE SIR!! DONE!!! ]

[ibuki_theater]

[Processing....

Buffering...............................

💡]

OH MY GOD YOURE REAL
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DREAM
uhhhhh did i mess up :(
oh no i did didnt i?
im sorryyyyyyy (┬┬﹏┬┬)
i dont know what i did but im sorry
esp if i said anything really weird last night
OH MY GOD I DID DIDNT I
AW HECK

[ibuki_theater]

[Honestly, Ryouta has too much energy. It's a problem.]

You know, a romantic partner. Someone to walk through life with you and all that other good stuff.

[It tracks. As much as he likes to talk, at work he's just dead inside. Especially when he's coming in after class for the night shift.]

Honestly, I thought they were a dream? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I had a waking dream while on my way back home.

[ibuki_theater]

magic like pulling rabbits out of a hat?

i def cant do that and ive tried several times in the past

???????????? do i even want to ask HOW they make rainbows????

[ibuki_theater]

omg you get me!!
granted i mightve just dreamed them up bc i was working late shift last night
first time i wouldve dreamt about a princess tho ngl
still!!! if theyre real theyre def a princess youre absolutely correct

[SAYS WHO?!]

what really???
hang on who the eff names their kid libra
should we call child services or is this libra person an adult and should have an intervention?

[ibuki_theater]

omg its like they decided to make livejournal a thing again

oh really? guess i gotta get on that. maybe see if my roommate wants to do a watch party shes R E A L L Y into that stuff

[ibuki_theater]

yes professor (┬┬﹏┬┬)

that... makes sense. okay but wait this brings to mind another question i have. how many lorem ipsums does it take to fully reach the character limit?

[mehjin]

less rabbits from hats more wizards and potions and stuff

and neither can i but trust me your lifes about to get waaaay weirder

[scryption]

[It sure is.

There's a long bit of silence, and then a very flat voice:]

Such things are of no interest to me. I have... friends. That is more than enough.

[l-lol]

If you are on this network, then... you should know something. Those "waking dreams" of yours-- they are real. It was another lifetime ago. A different world that has now ended.

That is the truth as I have been told.

[whiteshroud]

[oh sweet Jesus he's like a whimpering puppy. If Jun wasn't so miffed and embarrassed he'd probably find it adorable. ]

YES UNFORTUNATELY IM REAL. [As much as Jun wishes he wasn't right now!! But gah calm yourself Nightroad don't fall into his typing format.]

I'm real but I'm really not a princess
And this isn't a dating app.
TBH I'm not sure how YOU got on this app.

[You're as normal as they come?? So why?? A pause]

You were fine last night
We were both being weird
No need to dwell on it.

[Narrator Voice: Jun is going to dwell on it for as long as he lives]

1/3

[drewthetower]

[Oh look another newbie--

Wait. Roof. Work building. Cosplayer.]