Network: Un: PantsonPyre

[localweirdo]

WHO: Hu Tao
WHERE: Network
WHEN: 3/3/23
WHAT: Hu Tao trying to lighten up the mood
WARNINGS: Shenanigans

Greetings! I know that times have been rather challenging lately but I figured that we need something to brighten people's spirits up!

In response, I happen to have a notebook that gives people some rather funny answer to your problems. Please do enlighten me on what it might be and perhaps it might give you a response!

How about it? What do you have for me?

Comments

text | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

what do I do to keep my family from sharing embarrassing stories of me?

[localweirdo]

Let's see...

Make people think you have an expensive car phone by calling them, asking them to repeat everything they say and then hanging up half way through their reply.

[drewthetower]

what the hell is a car phone?

[localweirdo]

I don't know but I sure would like one.

[drewthetower]

why? we have cellphones now

[localweirdo]

The better question is why not?

text; un: jcarter_news

[phoenixwiz]

Is there a good alibi for me to use to the swim team as to why I might need to sit out for next year?

[localweirdo]

According to this notebook, it says to go to the doctors to make something up but...

It also says to go a doctor whose office plants have died.

[phoenixwiz]

Huh, that sounds like a pretty simple plan. Maybe the doctor with dead plants might be having a clinic near my family’s house. I will try to contact them to come up with a reasonable one.

[localweirdo]

What kind of reason do you think they'll make?

[phoenixwiz]

Let’s see. ‘It appears that Mr. Carter has been caught with a nasty flu of some kind and he needs a lot of rest very badly for the next several months.’ That is the best guess I can think of at the moment.

[localweirdo]

Or you can make it even more dramatic! What about open heart surgery?

[nosferatanking]

How do i explain that an experiment gone awry took out someone’s door?

[localweirdo]

Blame it on someone else!

Locate the suspected individual by locating them in every single room in the house until a loud screams reveals the source this individual!

Text; UN: Filledwithsunshine

[onebadapple]

I have a heart-shaped ruby stuck in my chest that can't be removed.

[localweirdo]

Use skin colored paint.

It would solve the problem of getting it removed.

[onebadapple]

I... don't think it CAN be removed without killing me.

[localweirdo]

All the more reason to keep it painted?

I'm impressed, the notebook actually gave some good advice for once!

[onebadapple]

I wonder if painting it would actually help... at the very least, maybe I can put makeup over it if nothing else.

[localweirdo]

Or you can pretend it's a necklace too!

Although, mind if I ask how do you have that ruby?

Text; un: Opera_Ghost

[not_a_possum]

I turned into an imp that regular people see as a possum. How do I deal with that?

[localweirdo]

By getting yourself a giant costume that makes you look like an imp.

And probably scare people too.

[not_a_possum]

That...might be an improvement? I mean, if it makes me look closer to human sized, then they might think I'm a guy in a costume instead of a possum?

[localweirdo]

Although, it would be a little odd to see someone in an imp costume walking around.

...Not that it's a bad thing, we could always use a little bit of weirdness here!

[not_a_possum]

I think we have plenty of weirdness here, but it would still be better to just look weird to the normal people but still have them think I'm human.

Of course, if I'm thinking of costumes as a solution, there are a lot of options other than just dressing up as a larger version of myself. The main thing I need to focus on is adding height.