Princess Snow White (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
onebadapple) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kaisou2022-12-08 08:18 pm
onebadapple) wrote in kaisou2022-12-08 08:18 pm
Entry tags:
When Raindrops come tumbling
WHO: Snow White and YOU
WHERE: A park and Kaisou High School
WHEN: First few weeks of December
WHAT: Snow White's wicked stepmother was vanquished. It does not change, however, that she was the only mother-figure Snow White had.
WARNINGS: Murder, past child abuse, past child neglect
A. Kaisou park
It was a beautiful winter day. It was calm, sunny, and crisp as snow blanketed the earth. Some kids in the distance were laughing and playing, throwing snowballs at each other, or building snow forts with parents as on-lookers. There were very few animals about, most of them migrated or hibernating, but a few were surrounding Snow White.
She was dressed head to toe in black, having been excused for the day to attend her stepmother's funeral. There was no casket, as the body had not been found. Zodiac had explained what happened, though as soon as the "We regret to inform you" started, a sinking weight hit her at the same time as relief and she missed most of their explanation. Her stepmother and something about accidentally getting into the spirit realm, the pokemon were wild animals, Snow did not blame them for doing what wild animals tended to do with a free meal.
The lawyers came next once the investigation cleared her of having any possible hand in the ordeal. She was always the heiress, after all. The newspapers didn't say much more besides the obituary, Zodiac made sure of that.
The funeral had been minuscule, her stepmother did not have friends. It was just Mr. Me-Or, Snow White, and the funeral director. News about her stepmother's death had reached all the companies and properties, well wishes from the vice-presidents all coming in but, Snow noted, with only sincerity about how they were sorry to see Snow become an orphan, that she had lost a third parent. Even over phones and video calls, there were only dry eyes as they gave their condolences.
No one mourned.
Except her.
But her mourning felt... conflicted. She so desperately wanted Grimhilde to love her, to be a good daughter, but now she couldn't.
Tears fell and soaked into her mittens as they rolled down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do or feel. Someone she wanted to be loved by was dead, but that woman had done so much harm, had hurt her so much.
Snow was safe, now.
And so there was relief, too.
And she felt all the worse for feeling it.
She must be such a horrible person, to be GLAD someone was dead. She knew she was. What else could she be?
The rabbits and deer watched her silently as she wept, unable to offer any words of comfort.
"Do you think I'm a horrible person?" she asked them, unaware someone was passing by in front of her as she did.
B. Kaisou High School
While Snow had been assured she could take all the time she needed as she dealt with her stepmother's death, moving into her cousin's home, and all the lawyers, she ultimately did not want to stay home.
Her home had always been too massive for two people, opulent because that was what her stepmother liked.
Now it was just her, and it was intimidating. Special movers had been hired to pack up what little Snow owned herself to be moved into Anna's apartment. Lawyers were dealing with the mansion and all the worldly goods her stepmother and father had acquired over time. Some things were being donated to museums as Snow didn't see the need to maintain her stepmother's private collections, some were being put in storage, and some were being auctioned off.
She didn't wish to deal with any of that. She would rather be among her peers. People who didn't know, people who didn't remind her every second of every day that her stepmother was dead.
But even though she wanted to be back at school, she wasn't properly there. Her mind was constantly wandering, and she couldn't focus on any subject.
She bumped into someone, again, and stepped back. Distantly she heard something drop and realized she had dropped her books.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she whispered, not an ounce of cheer or chipperness in her voice as she spoke. "Did I hurt you?"
WHERE: A park and Kaisou High School
WHEN: First few weeks of December
WHAT: Snow White's wicked stepmother was vanquished. It does not change, however, that she was the only mother-figure Snow White had.
WARNINGS: Murder, past child abuse, past child neglect
A. Kaisou park
It was a beautiful winter day. It was calm, sunny, and crisp as snow blanketed the earth. Some kids in the distance were laughing and playing, throwing snowballs at each other, or building snow forts with parents as on-lookers. There were very few animals about, most of them migrated or hibernating, but a few were surrounding Snow White.
She was dressed head to toe in black, having been excused for the day to attend her stepmother's funeral. There was no casket, as the body had not been found. Zodiac had explained what happened, though as soon as the "We regret to inform you" started, a sinking weight hit her at the same time as relief and she missed most of their explanation. Her stepmother and something about accidentally getting into the spirit realm, the pokemon were wild animals, Snow did not blame them for doing what wild animals tended to do with a free meal.
The lawyers came next once the investigation cleared her of having any possible hand in the ordeal. She was always the heiress, after all. The newspapers didn't say much more besides the obituary, Zodiac made sure of that.
The funeral had been minuscule, her stepmother did not have friends. It was just Mr. Me-Or, Snow White, and the funeral director. News about her stepmother's death had reached all the companies and properties, well wishes from the vice-presidents all coming in but, Snow noted, with only sincerity about how they were sorry to see Snow become an orphan, that she had lost a third parent. Even over phones and video calls, there were only dry eyes as they gave their condolences.
No one mourned.
Except her.
But her mourning felt... conflicted. She so desperately wanted Grimhilde to love her, to be a good daughter, but now she couldn't.
Tears fell and soaked into her mittens as they rolled down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do or feel. Someone she wanted to be loved by was dead, but that woman had done so much harm, had hurt her so much.
Snow was safe, now.
And so there was relief, too.
And she felt all the worse for feeling it.
She must be such a horrible person, to be GLAD someone was dead. She knew she was. What else could she be?
The rabbits and deer watched her silently as she wept, unable to offer any words of comfort.
"Do you think I'm a horrible person?" she asked them, unaware someone was passing by in front of her as she did.
B. Kaisou High School
While Snow had been assured she could take all the time she needed as she dealt with her stepmother's death, moving into her cousin's home, and all the lawyers, she ultimately did not want to stay home.
Her home had always been too massive for two people, opulent because that was what her stepmother liked.
Now it was just her, and it was intimidating. Special movers had been hired to pack up what little Snow owned herself to be moved into Anna's apartment. Lawyers were dealing with the mansion and all the worldly goods her stepmother and father had acquired over time. Some things were being donated to museums as Snow didn't see the need to maintain her stepmother's private collections, some were being put in storage, and some were being auctioned off.
She didn't wish to deal with any of that. She would rather be among her peers. People who didn't know, people who didn't remind her every second of every day that her stepmother was dead.
But even though she wanted to be back at school, she wasn't properly there. Her mind was constantly wandering, and she couldn't focus on any subject.
She bumped into someone, again, and stepped back. Distantly she heard something drop and realized she had dropped her books.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she whispered, not an ounce of cheer or chipperness in her voice as she spoke. "Did I hurt you?"
Park
But he does feel bad for her pain right now- for lying to her to cover the truth up. He certainly won't tell her the truth. Not yet. Perhaps never. But he accepts that as another piece of darkness to carry in his chest. He doesn't like it, but he'll live with it.
He's sneaked out of school to come to be with her today- because he knows she'll need it. He'll get into more trouble with his teachers, but after the whole suspension thing, it's probably what his educators expect by now. He moves to stand beside her, brow furrowed.
"...I think you're the complete opposite of a horrible person, Snow," he says gently. "In fact, you're one of the best people I know."
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"Mustn't that mean I'm a horrible person? She was my stepmother, the only mother I knew."
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He says it like it's the simplest thing in the world. Snow isn't a terrible person, she's a survivor, plain and simple. He hesitates for a moment, not sure if this is welcome or not, before reaching out to take her hand in his, a rare moment where he's the one to initiate contact.
"I don't think you're a horrible person at all. I'm glad she can't hurt you anymore."
CW: Past child murder
What was the point of keeping it all in anymore? "She... she was so terribly clever, you know?" her free hand reached up and pressed a hand to her chest. "She had one of my instructors try to cut out my heart... He couldn't go through with it but there was... there was enough damage done that it hurts when I'm winded. That was the first one I remember, but I think... there was more. I would be left at public places all day with no one to watch me, and then at the end of the day, she'd come and get me and scold me for getting lost and leaving her side. The one that lasted the longest was the poisoned apple. She forced a tutor to give it to me. I think I was out for weeks. I can't look at apples without feeling faint."
She held onto his hand a little tighter.
"It sounds like so much. It probably doesn't even sound real. When I told the staff, they didn't believe me. If they did believe me, they were fired and I never saw them again. I just... I just stopped telling anyone after a while. I was so tired of being called a liar or being the one to blame for them losing their livelihood."
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He could connect those particular dots pretty well, and it's what ultimately pushed him into contacting Elliot. He was so afraid that Snow would end up dead. As much as she thought that she could outlast her stepmother's cruelty, Varian had no such ideals. But still, he listens, shoulders tense.
Well, if he wasn't convinced he'd made the right decision before, he sure is now.
"I'm sorry she treated... she treated you so badly. I- I can't say I'm sorry she's gone, Snow. I'm glad she's gone. That- that you don't have to be afraid of being treated like that ever again."
He sucks in a breath.
"I always believed you. I still believe you now. It's terrible that some people didn't, and that's on them and the rest is on her."
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She cried for several more minutes, years and years of not allowing herself to cry seemingly coming out now. Years and years of someone willing to listen.
It took her some time to calm down, her eyes were puffy and red. She took several deep breaths.
"I feel so ashamed, I'm sorry for the fuss I've made."
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He doesn't speak- he just lets her get it all out. That's...important. Being able to fall apart and have someone there to help pick up the pieces afterwards. He doesn't feel he's very good at it, but he does understand its importance.
"You've got nothing to be sorry about," that's said firmly, but not cruelly. "You've just- Snow, you've just gone through a lot of awful things. You're allowed to cry about it- and- and you're definitely allowed to make a fuss."
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She leaned back on the bench and sighed.
"I don't know what to say, or to think, or to feel, I feel one thing and then it shifts and alters right into another, I think one thing and am saddened I think it, or am ashamed I think it. She wasn't kind. She was never kind. But I loved her. I don't think I'm a fool but it feels foolish to have loved her. Like loving a wall, speaking to it, asking it to hug you, to listen. So am I the fool for- for thinking a wall could do anything other than what a wall does."
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And oof, this sure is familiar. He knows Quirin is MILES away from Brunhilde. At least his father genuinely did love him, even if it took him a long time to actually show it. Probably too long, if Varian's completely honest with himself- which is decidedly is not.
"...Losing a parent is always hard. Even if things are...complicated between you," he takes a deep breath. "I don't think you're a fool. You just... you just wanted something that wasn't there. It was on her for not giving it you, never you. I think you should just...feel what you need to feel, y'know?"
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She still would have given it all away if it meant her stepmother would have loved her.
But no, that was never going to happen.
She let out a breath. "The school counselors think I might benefit from going to grief counseling... and... abuse counseling. It... giving it a word... giving it that word... I know it's true but it doesn't make it any easier knowing it. I think... I'm just going to have to accept it being complicated and always being complicated."
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Because Varian's always going to be for using resources to help those in need. He frowns softly, letting out a quiet hum. He knows what counselling is, vaguely, but he's avoided it himself. He's far too closed off to start talking about his everything with a complete stranger. But he wants Snow to feel supported too- and he knows they're not the same. She might get some real help here.
"I'm probably not the right person to talk to about...that," he rubs the back of his neck. "I think accepting it for...what it was is important and if you think talking to someone about that might help you should...give it a shot?"
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"I've never really had... HUMAN help with everything," she gestured to the animals to explain her comment. "Honestly, since coming to Kaisou, my whole life has changed in more ways than I ever thought it could... would..." she corrected. "I certainly wished for these changes to be honest. Friends, going to school like a normal child, only one wish didn't come true, but I am quite grateful for all the wishes that have come true."
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Still, that has him curious.
"What was the one wish that didn't come true?"
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"Parents who loved me," she offered softly. "Everything else was coming true. Some part of me wished for that, too."
She knows, even if it would be dangerous, even if it was likely at the cost of something from her, if her stepmother showed even an ounce of love, Snow would have fallen for it in seconds. She would have gone in completely unquestioning.
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"Well. There's still time for that, too," he reasons gently. "People...people find family here, right? Maybe you- you'll find someone here like parents to you here. People who support you and care about you and really look out for you. They won't be your blood parents, but I don't think that matters, really. It's the- the feeling that matters, right?"
He certainly has that here with Amal. Elliot, too. He's not quite in a place to actually voice that yet. His loyalty to his father back in Corona is deep and intense (after all, he tried to burn the world down for the man) and he needs to shake the feeling that accepting other parental figures in this world doesn't mean he's abandoning Quirin or that he loves him any less. He's working on it.
"...People can surprise you here, Snow. You might get every wish you wanted, and that'd be something, huh?"
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"It feels... selfish," she offered honestly. "It feels... much too much to think I would get every wish granted. I've been so pleasantly surprised already, with you and Moana and all the other friends I've made. I can't be so greedy to think I deserve everything."
She had spent her entire life trying to take up as little space as possible, being allowed to spread out and take up space... it was still too new a concept. The idea that she deserved anything good was too new.
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At all. In fact, the opposite. She's been through so much. She deserves a happy ending now. Or at the very least, a happy beginning.
"I wouldn't call it selfish at all."
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"T-Thank you, Varian," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "I... thank you," she laughed, suddenly, still crying in all that, unable to really explain the emotion she was feeling right then, joy at the idea of new beginnings. She was terrified and sad, she was confused and free, she was excited and hopeful, and most of all... she was safe.
She was safe, nothing Kaisou matched the monster at home, if anything, the spirit realm, and the monsters there were breaks from the daily monster in her life.
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"Hey, anytime," he manages a little smile. "You're good people, Snow. Don't let anyone make you feel any differently about that. Even yourself."
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"I shall have to try my hardest not to let myself say mean things to myself."
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"Good, I'm glad. Don't make me have to come and find you and tell you not to do that, because I will."
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"As that mean voice sounds so much like stepmother, I don't know that I will listen as often as I might if it were my own."
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"That's exactly what you should do. You don't wanna listen to that voice."
Wrap?