video | un: 520blazeit | [and a bonus closed action]

[goldace]

WHO: Ace, Sabo, and you!
WHERE: Gemini && Closed Action
WHEN: August 22
WHAT: Did you guys want snails with human teeth who stare at you? Because you’re getting snails with teeth that stare at you. Also, Sabo and Ace attempt to clean a boat, but don’t worry about that, that’s their problem to deal with.
WARNINGS: Tomfoolery, swearing, violence against seagulls, seagull violence against people, and Den Den Mushi.

video | un: 520blazeit;

[The video clicks on to show a pasty blond standing in front of a store window looking a little disheveled, singed, and is that bird shit on his shoulder?? Either way, the video is zoomed the heck in on that awkward face.]

Okay. You wanna tell the class what we’ve found? [Comes Ace’s voice from behind the camera.] You wanna own up to what you’ve done?

[The accusation is met with confusion as Sabo looks at the phone, although not quite at the camera, and then back up at, presumably, Ace ] What are you on about? And why are you pointing that at me?

[There is the heaviest sigh, in response to that.] The– You know what I’m talking about. The thing. [There is a gentle wiggle of the camera towards the window they’re stopped in front of.]

What thing? [Sabo looks exasperated, but whether or not it’s just Ace, or the combination with the absolute state he’s in is up for debate. But he does seem to understand he’s being directed to something, so he turns his head and looks in the window, blinking as he looks at what’s on the other side of it.]

… I thought you said there weren’t any transponder snails here?

Apparently yours got out and got busy. [The camera moves forward as Ace does, swinging from Sabo down to the window where there is… a snail the size of a small dog, munching on some lettuce with a very human-like mouth and teeth, staring unblinking into the camera.] You’ve unleashed hell on us, dude.

[And after a moment more of unblinking eye contact, Ace shudders and turns off the video.]

closed action;

[After this mess of an invitation to take on a side job, Ace is ready and waiting at the edge of the water, a bag slung over his shoulder with “supplies”, cowboy hat on his head, and the waterproof masterwork that is his brand new cowboy boots.

Here’s hoping Sabo is impressed with his amazing get for their trip out to the big ship on the water. He had to give a guy twenty whole dollars to borrow this for the day.]

Comments

text; un: devilbreaker

[sassery]

...
i so am not fucking drunk enough for this

[goldace]

if u think sneeth are bad
guess what else
this thing is

[sassery]

sneeth
thanks i hate it
how much more do i gotta watch this weirdass tv before i get back to my regular programming

text; 1/2

[goldace]

like at leeeaaaaast 3 more hours

video

[goldace]

[Have a super zoomed in twenty second video clip of a snail staring the camera dead in the eyes and slooooooowly chewing lettuce]

UN: CamCotton

[creamcottonshepherd]

Good graicous, it's quite large isn't it?

Would something like that need a paludarium, or a terrarium I wonder...

[COTTON NO]

[goldace]

i think shakespeare over there is just letting it crawl on his walls, so who knows

[creamcottonshepherd]

Right along the walls? That's hardly good news for any plants you have in that place!

[goldace]

yea?
oooooooo
right they eat green stuff!

[He's so smart]

video | un: lastlullaby

[end_singer]

Ah. What an intriguing little fellow you have there. Almost like a distant relative of some of the creatures of my own world, if perhaps a bit on the small side. And am I to take it that there are more than just the one now?

[There is absolutely no facial expression from the skeleton on the screen on account of being, well, a skeleton, but his tone of voice very much indicates a subdued sort of delight.]

[goldace]

[ w.... wa....it..... that's....

a skele....
a skeleton?????? wh......]

Yyyyyyyyyyyeah probably? I mean, this guy-- [A casual tilt of his phone towards wherever Sabo's ended up in this mess] --is the expert on teeth snail breeding, so....

[Ace is just going to continue to squint and contemplate the meaning of life and death.]

[end_singer]

Is that so? What an interesting hobby.

[There is nothing but full sincerity in Nito's voice. ...Which probably isn't helping Ace's contemplations, but what can you do?]

video

[memoriaignis]

It isn't a hobby, my organization required me to have one on me for communication.

[Hi, these are Normal and Fine, just like skeletons!]

[goldace]

Y-yeah....

[What's this? Is Ace's idiocy defeated? Has the talking mass of bones defeated him?]

Hey-- how do you eat? Or drink? Doesn't it all just fall through?

text: un: MrColdFeet

[anyprice]

Oh my god, these are horrifying, I'm delighted and terrified.

Why do they LOOK like that.
Snails don't have teeth.
I live with a HUGE snail and it doesnt have teeth why do they have teeth

[goldace]

that's what /I/ said!!!!!

apparently its like
so they can talk????
probably
when they r phones
or smth

i dunno im not the expert

[The expert is the twenty two year old grandpa who's probably still trying to figure out why his phone is pinging with notifications.]

[anyprice]

Hey I've seen a LOTTA willlld shit in my years in and out of magic gates and magic places

not in my life
have i ever seen a phone thats an animal

i'm terrified

i want one.

text: un: revolutionary

[memoriaignis]

They need teeth if they're going to properly articulate what people have them say.

[anyprice]

I Hate
I actually hate
how much logic that holds.

video: un: hotgoss

[bebest]

...Oh sweet googly moogly why does it have people teeth?

[ Wait, shit, no. He remembers, vaguely in the depths of his past memories, the goddamn bugtaurs. THEY have people teeth. Oh no. He doesn't want this. ]

Why are they so BIG? What ARE they? Ew, are they slimy? They look slimy.

[goldace]

Phones, apparently.

[Ace is just gonna swing his camera back around to the snail that's still slowly munching on lettuce and staring directly at the camera.

And if you listen very
very
very
very
closely.... you can almost hear a soft drone of jiiiiiiiii from the other side of the glass as it just... watches. Unblinking. Staring through the camera almost like it's looking at a place far, far beyond any kind of human comprehension.]

Unnerving, right?

[bebest]

[ Zulius has seen some pretty messed up stuff. Both in Kaisou and his past life memories. He has seen stuff that would make anyone's skin crawl. But these things? They're on a whole other level.]

Ohhhhh, no. I don't like those. Nope. Hard no on that one! Nooooooo thanks!! I'd take a Nokia Brick before I'd take that.

latest closed action

[memoriaignis]

[Okay, yeah, it took Sabo forever to figure out what the fuck that was all about, but hey. An adventure with his best bro? Who could ask for more??

[Well, maybe one could ask for something a little more. Like direct and clear communication. And maybe less public humiliation, but this is fine, right? Normal, even, for them.

[Sabo hasn't figured out his bike yet. Or even better, he hasn't figured out that he has a bike yet, so he's hoofed it to the water. When he does eventually get there, he's in his usual garb (seriously, someone get this guy some fashion advice), pipe strapped to his back, and he's eying that swan like it might bite him.]

... What is that?

[goldace]

[Well, Sabo better not be ready or willing to take fashion advice from the idiot in a cowboy hat and cowboy crocs. But, you know. To each their own, and all of that.

Either way, Ace is beaming when his new blond sidekick shows up, standing proud at the edge of the dock with his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out, letting Sabo look over that dutiful little swan paddle boat all he wants.]

Our ride, that's what! We just have to have it back by tonight or I'll have to pay double for it.

[And, as Ace goes to just hop into the frantically bobbing little plastic boat, he's going to throw over his shoulder a quick and casual: ] You can swim, right?

[memoriaignis]

[Ah. Ah. This is....not good.

[He hasn't really tested whether or not he can swim here. It'd be cool, but he doesn't trust that he can. So he's hesitating, but it's only a moment of it, because hey.]

Long as you can, we'll be fine.

[And he's confidently going to get on this weird plastic thing. If Ace is sure, so is Sabo.]