5; video; un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

WHO: Takame and you
WHERE: Network
WHEN: Tail end of December
WHAT: A little question
WARNINGS: Should be none besides massive FFXIV spoilers

[There is a video feed on, but it only shows a familiar scaly hand fiddling with an orange crystal that may also be familiar to some. Any other Warrior of Light or people very close with Takame would recognize it.

Takame’s voice came clear through, sounding the same as always. His regular amount of neutral monotone, though at the edge it faded into something a little sad.]

I’ve a question for those who, ah... who did not come from other realms. Those who began to remember their past lives be it after acquiring the Libra app or prior. I’m... curious.

[A long pause, setting the crystal down and instead beginning to drum his fingers next to it.]

How... how do you feel about it? Recalling memories of who you were from a life that was once "yours", I mean. I am unsure how one is supposed to feel experiencing something like that. I would like to know how.

[And suddenly showing Azem's crystal on screen made sense to those who knew. Takame was not bitter towards the situation of being Azem's shard. What he really wondered was if he should be.]

That is all.

Comments

voice | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

Honestly? I don't care. Yeah, sometimes it's annoying when I misremember what happened to who, but like...that's not me. That August had a different life entirely, so even if we're the same person at our core I do things he wouldn't, and he did things I sure as fuck wouldn't.

[hoshikiri]

I see.

[Another long pause.]

I've... I've told others something similar, I've never considered it for myself. In the end, 'tis what is done in this life that matters... [And yet he still sounded kind of down.]

video; UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

I don't need to ask what this is about--

[Rose is also 100% not the audience for this question, but she comes in with big "I'm not a Lawyer, But--" energy.]

I want you to know, that regardless of what anyone says, you're still you.

private

[hoshikiri]

[There's a considerable delay where he's just quiet, even his hand moves off frame and there's a sigh heard.

And immediately he switches the feed to private.]

... But who am "I"? I do not have an answer to that question.

I want to know... if how I feel about them is how I am supposed to feel.

text; un: adagium

[scourgingstars]

Who can possibly pin down any one answer to such a thing?

Though were I to try, I think it would come down to simply 'history repeats', or that some people need to learn the same lessons twice before it actually sinks in.

[hoshikiri]

[Hells, this fucking guy.

Worse: When one of the biggest arseholes you know makes a point that you agree with.]

Hence why I am asking for multiple perspectives.

I suppose I cannot argue that from my own eyes. Fate has a means of circling back around. That does not mean attempts cannot be made to break said fate.

voice; un: theprofessional

[sg09r]

That's a pretty heavy topic to end the year on.

[A sigh.]

Worried, I guess. There's a pattern to my past life that's similar to the life I'm living now, and I don't want to end up going too far down that road. The best I can do is try to avoid walking into the same mistakes I made back then, but...

[He shrugs.]

That's a little bit harder than you might think.

[hoshikiri]

Ah. I... I suppose you are right, my apologies. It wasn't my intent to upset anyone...

[WHAT IF HE JUST DELETED THE POST RIGHT NOW AND NEVER SPOKE OF IT AGAIN.

No, that would just be dishonest. Goddammit. Takame could understand that fear, though.]

Mm. We cannot guarantee what will happen in any of our lives. [A pause, trying to figure out the right thing to say. There's the sound of his hands drumming against a surface even faster.]

I, ah... I've seen cycles broken regardless. [A little more confidently:] Within this city especially. 'Tis possible, this I know for certain.

voice: un: darkSlayer

[kowase]

[ its a topic he's thought about many times before, so of course he's tempted enough to answer, but he's still tentative as he flicks this thumb over the respond button. ]

At first, truth be told, I was uncertain about it. That such a phenomenon was possible. Skepticism was easy, especially given that I am something of a scientific mind. The idea that the soul could "remember" previous life seemed preposterous.

And then when it became more apparent that it was not only possible, but real--for a short time, I was scared.
Uncertain that what was happening to me was something I wanted, fearful that I'd become "someone else," that I would "lose" myself to someone who already had their turn, who lived their life already.

...Now that I have remembered so many things that the line is, sometimes, blurred between Who I Am and Who I Was--I can say that there's nothing to fear about it.

I am still Me.

I just have some memories and experiences that are older than I am, and that I have to learn to live with knowing--

Or use to my advantage.

Perhaps remembering a past life is ... still a discomfort for some. But for me, I have decided I am ... grateful to have remembered.

[hoshikiri]

[Any and all views Takame was glad to see. Vittore has an interesting perspective on a lot of things, he was an interesting man though Takame knew relatively little about him. So he took in those words, delaying his own response as a result.

Did this mean it was okay to feel how Takame did about Azem, he wondered. To feel gratitude.]

It is not easy, I imagine. [There's a comparative lightness in his tone.] Thank you, ser Vittore.

text: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

HONestly, at first it was super weird. My past life was way different than this one. Even if you don't count all the being-a-centaur stuff. And sometimes things get a little hinky when the memories like...overlap and stuff? But honestly, I try to remember that isn't really me now, it's a different version of me. Sure, I can learn from what Other Me did, but it doesn't mean I'm like, locked into following that same path, y'know? My story's still MINE, it's just got like, a prologue now, too.

[He's gonna nod at the orange crystal.]

Watcha got there, Buddy?

[hoshikiri]

A prologue... I see. [Said fondly. That was a very Zulius way to answer the question and that was really all Takame needed to hear. From this Zulius. The only one he knew.

Still... a prologue. A wonderful way to think of it, Takame thought. He took the crystal into his hand again.]

This is something very important to me. [...]

I suppose you could say it is a remnant of my own "past life".

text; anonymous

[honestyandpluck]

Terrified.

I know that most people here likely wouldn't be, but these memories I have are of horrors so dreadful I still shudder to recall them. The worst part is that the same fate almost befell me in this life—it was only desperation that saved me now.

[hoshikiri]

Everyone feels differently, I am learning.

[There's a delay. He obviously will not pry but knew there was little he could say to change how this person felt anyway. Fate made the habit of following, indeed. And the biggest paralyzer was fear.

He knew it as a method and an emotion in equal parts. In the end all he could think of to say still felt dismissive.]

Though your past life hovers, I pray this one will treat you better in the future.

UN: hikari-vi | voice

[whiteshroud]

[In the most deadest of voices]

Every time I recall a memory, I have to add another month to the time I'll spend in therapy.

0/10, do not recommend.

[hoshikiri]

Ah.

[Understandable have a nice day, but like thought completely unironically cause he DOES understand and doesn't know what to say to that.]

voice; private; un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

I know I'm not quite who you're asking, but...you okay?

private forevs

[hoshikiri]

I am fine. I swear.

[Not entirely a lie. 10% lying, maybe.]

... Azem has been on my mind as of late. [Okay, there's the whole truth. Relatively.]

You arrived from your own realm, but I still value your opinion on any matter.

un: ecraig | voice

[fiddlestick]

Haha, well that's a heavy question for the holidays...

For me... not all the memories are good, but overall I'm pretty grateful for them. My life was pretty lonely before. But thanks to the memories, I realized that it didn't have to be that way. They even help lead me to having the family I do now.

[hoshikiri]

My apologies...

[DON'T DELETE THE POST, KESI. IT'S TOO LATE NOW.]

I see. I am glad that... things have become better for you in this life, Elliot. [There's relief in Takame's tone for both Elliot and the fact that, well... It isn't a bad thing that he feels something positive towards Azem despite what ultimately happened. What it ultimately led Takame to.]

action

[stripartist]

[Tracking down his boyfriend--]

Ame?

action!

[hoshikiri]

Ah. [Takame figured Yusuke would track him down. He gave a light shake of his head, leaning backwards into where he sat and just reaching for his boyfriend's hand.]

I am alright, my Yusuke. [...] Forgive me, I've been... thinking about this for some time. And... summoning Apollo only made it return to the forefront of my mine.

text | un: ndwolfwood

[asipofbride]

[ on one hand, he doesn't fit the clause being asked after, here. he's from somewhere else, somewhen else, and Takame's asking about... people like Vittore.

but the resonance is strong, and it makes Wolfwood brave the snow to smoke at least three cigarettes in the cold despite the fur licking up the sides of his calves because he hasn't figured out just how much of a cheat card Eve's incredibly sweet gift is. then he'll reply. probably while still oujtside like a moron. ]

so my predicaments not quite the same as yours but uh

Spikey and i didn't actually know each other as we are now, yknow? like. he knew someone who looked like me and shares enough similarities with me that i could probably sue for that 'copyright infringement' people talk about on this world--and it's the same the other way around, i knew him, but it was a different him. his arm was green. he was a lot... younger.

i feel like the fake sometimes, hearin' about the other guy and the shit he's accomplished and settled on in his life. he's a priest and he takes care of orphans and is all resolved to do... some shit that i hadn't even begun to think about outside of my wild fantasies, y'know? Needlenoggin hung out with the guy for two years. meanwhile, me an' my assigned-cactus-at-cosmic-reckoning knew each other for about three? four months and then shit went nuclear levels of tragic. my head was still spinnin' when i got sucked up and dropped here in my own personal nightmare fun zone.

i keep tryin to shrug off all the grace that guy's earned and it keeps being given back to me, because at the core of things, i'm still me, and he's me, and i'm him. but i'm also still me. nobody can take that away from you, no matter how much you might be historically someone else.

[hoshikiri]

[This Wolfwood... wasn't the same one Vash knew? Or the same one Vash as Takame knew him did. Though it stood to reason that Vash would still see them with the same level of respect despite that.]

Mm. That is the sort of man Vash is.

[Takame liked that about him.]

I've seen situations such as this before. In a way I, too, am in one. I welcome the view regardless, I do not mind if you came from another world as I did. Thank you.

Video

[thewarriorqueen]

The woman who replied was probably an unfamiliar face--she'd only found the app on her phone just over a month ago--but she had still been around enough to have heard things. And already had thoughts on what she heard.

"Aside from some bizarre deja vu I haven't exactly 'remembered' anything, but I heard it was possible. Maybe likely?"

Well, she may have spoken a name she had no way of knowing a time or two, too, but she wasn't really counting that.

"I can't say I care for the idea. Why should memories of someone who's gone interfere with me now? Let alone dictate who I am."

[hoshikiri]

[Unfamiliar faces have been showing up a lot in this post, though Takame did not mind at all.]

Mm. I've been here some time and I believe most would agree with you. [A little worrisome though that she spoke of it just as deja vu.] ... Have you only acquired the app recently?

text; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

There's something of interest to be found in it, but it is ultimately inconsequential. The spirit of the king has been called many times and in many forms, and he's always pursued whatever amused him best even if it ended in farce or failure.

If I believed in therapy, I'm sure the person who tried to talk their way through the contents of my skull would be fascinated with the odd similarities that keep cropping up, but what the king of eld did or did not do has no bearing on me. Who cares about the sins of your father, spiritual or otherwise? You are you, as are your choices and your desires.

Nice rock candy. Is it orange flavored?

[ on one hand, he does not like Takame. on the other hand... he's had a lot of Thoughts while on his own, for the most part. maybe it's a show of kindness for the show of a gunblade once upon a time. ]

[hoshikiri]

[Takame does not like Gil either. But he will take any word given. If anything he'd soften towards Gil if this was established earlier between them.

They could agree on this, at least.]

Indeed. My actions only bear upon the name Takame Kesi in this realm. 'Tis something I wished to think on regardless.

[That is some very deliberate wording.]

It isn't a candy, and I dare not consider whether it tastes like anything. It is a crystal that means a great deal to myself and many others.

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

[He knows he's not Takame's favorite person, but maybe his perspective can help anyway.]

At first? Anger. Grief. Shame. Helplessness.

It's impossible to keep myself and that other person completely separated since my situation has repeated before. Every time I look in the mirror I see more fragments. I don't know where he ends and I begin.

But it doesn't matter. This life is mine. Not his.

I will free myself. And I will free him in so doing, and put him to rest.

text | UN: ANON

[adtendo]

I'm proud of you.

voice | un: fruitninja

[bananinja]

Well, I think it's kinda one of those things that nobody's gonna answer the same because who remembers what and when is real personal.

And for me, personally, it felt real good to give a version of the guy who made a lot of the memories I got from the previous me bad a good wallop. Fuck that guy in particular.

[hoshikiri]

I do not expect the same answer. That fact alone is the reason why I ask.

... Catharsis in one's previous life must be nice.

[Takame understands the fuck that guy in particular mood.]

Text | UN: lunae

[heng_like_a_dragon]

[Dan Heng debates whether or not he'll say anything here. He doesn't have to, he knows that, but it seems to him like Takame is trying to understand something.]

Speaking for myself, when the memories come, I am never 'myself.' Everything you feel, perceive, and think is a different person and you are not 'yourself.' 'You' don't exist in those moments.

I am perhaps more accustomed to it than most. Including this life, I have been reincarnated close to a hundred times.

[He really wishes he hadn't been in some ways, but what can he do?]

[hoshikiri]

[There's a long delay. Kami above, close to a hundred times and he remembered?

He couldn't even imagine. He knew nothing of Azem, let alone the leagues of others who Azem's soul was bound to.]

You've more experience in this regard than most others, I see.

video; un: shadeshift

[sunforging]

Is this the whole...'weird unsundered identity crisis' thing? 'Cause I've done that. Few times, really.

[hoshikiri]

... Not a crisis of identity, necessarily.

[Not with regard to the Unsundered, anyway. There WAS an identity crisis here if you decided to dig, but he was not going there in public.]

Coming to terms with how I feel towards them. Towards one of them specifically. [It's Azem, that much was obvious by the crystal.]

un: violetsmoke; video

[infezione]

[Okay, deep breath.]

At first... it scared me. My situation had... obvious parallels to that of my past life. [Mafia, Black Order, is there really that much of a difference?] I understood why my past self had done the things he did, but he was someone I was scared of. [...] Scared of becoming, too.

It's not like he was an awful person, I think... no matter what he thought about it, but I can see how he'd come to that conclusion. I understood him, but I was scared of the sort of person he was, and of sort of power he wielded. He was, too.

But... as time went along... things kind of... I don't know, diverged, for me? Ever since September, I think I've finally put those worries to rest for good. So... ultimately, I think I'm kind of at peace with that guy now. He made his choices; I'm making mine.

[hoshikiri]

[Takame just let Fugo's words on the matter wash over him for a moment. To be frightened of who one was or may become. To be frightened of power especially. Power that may or may not return in this realm. And yet still somehow find the will to keep moving.]

You formed your own path. And continue to build it, drifting further from the path of your past self.

[... The young are exceedingly strong. This world's future was bright with people like Fugo taking the reins of it.]

I am glad that you've begun to find your own way.

Video; un: Opera_Ghost

[not_a_possum]

I don't know. I think I'm used to it. And some of the memories are pretty nice, like the memories of Millie. I think it's made me realize that no matter how different my life is, I'm always going to be me.

[hoshikiri]

Used to it? Hm.

[Well, one could get used to anything if exposed for long enough. It wasn't said in judgment, but legitimate thoughtfulness.]

Mm. 'Tis good regardless that you can maintain your sense of self through it all.

video; un: zapbamboom

[incendiarize]

[Arthur only knows Takame through the prophecy club, and they're not really close or anything, but. He knows 'grappling with difficult ideas' when he sees it, and. Well. Talking about it might do someone good?]

I was scared of mine, for a long time. I think I still am. Just differently scared. Like - the difference between being scared of the dark 'cause you don't know what could be hiding in it, and being scared of the dark 'cause you know exactly what's hiding in it.

[hoshikiri]

[He's glad to hear from someone he knew even slightly.]

Mm. I... I understand that feeling quite well. [In a very different circumstance, but only because of the fact that he knew how different things could turn out now if he hadn't left Garlemald's forces.] I was faced with it in a way.

Private Text | UN: ragingbull

[bullzerk]

Fucking annoying is what it is. I keep having these visions at the worst times and none of them make any sense.

private forevs

[hoshikiri]

[Why did hearing this from Cassandra specifically fill Takame with such intense dread?]

I do not doubt they'll begin to make sense as time goes on. But if they are memories you do not care to recall, 'tis best to pay them as little heed as you can.