[treasure 5] instructions unclear, am standing in a field mildly on fire

[throwmoreswords]

WHO: Gilgamesh, the network, you?
WHERE: a network post and the Hyrule stable gate
WHEN: handwavey early December for the post, throughout the month of December for the hiking adventures
WHAT: sometimes you're the CEO of a lot of different shit and your secretary was really good at her job so you didn't realize exactly how much work you got to ignore because she did the sorting for you and it's only a matter of time before someone calls a coup and also your happy place is out in the wilderness for totally legitimate reasons not even slightly related to wandering around with your dead best friend from a former life. really.
WARNINGS: none off the top of my head

un; AUO, voice post; on the network itself

As Ms. Takamaki has decided to focus on her studies, I find myself wholly reminded of exactly how invaluable a competent secretary truly is; therefore--

[ he sounds terribly put upon, with a long-suffering drawl that it is incredibly certain of how important it is and within a few seconds of it anyone familiar with Vergil Vittore will hear him in the background, cutting in with a 'get to the point, Gilgamesh'.

the silence drags for a moment, as if it means to coalesce and launch itself at the secondary participant's head. then Gilgamesh sucks in a breath, sucks his teeth, and speaks again. ]

I'm hiring. Must be eighteen or older, send over any references or previous experience secretarial work. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ask employment advice from the man who just hired employees for the first time this year, since he clearly knows everything about successful staffing and I simply must pick his brain for the soundest of advice.

[ somebody's gonna wish he'd simply insulted how Gilgamesh was dressed again. ]

in Hyrule; because sometimes you want to touch grass and harass the locals

[ legally distinct from Hallmark movies and dear friends who refuse to let you duck out of your responsibilities are temporary, but nature is forever. Gilgamesh likes nature, and he's got a habit of finding his way out to the Hyrule stable gate to do nature things--running, jumping, climbing trees, looking for weird leaf children while he's up there. any other roamers are perfectly fine to find the king out and about--carrying rocks around, or standing on piles of logs, or crunching through an apple as he considers a line of statues and their current offering situation, or if they're truly fortunate, they might find the king by a fire, putting some actual decent cooking skills to use?

and if they're even luckier, they might find the king... seeing the other side of his luck, for what has Luck EX must also experience the back half of being the man ahead of the bell curve.

climbing through hills and plains and trees and the like have their consequences, but usually Gilgamesh is too solitary to let other people see them--but if you time it right, you might catch him dangled from a tree, or going ass over end down a hill, doing an okay doggy-paddle in the river, or having made the dumb decision to venture into a cave and ending up stuck like some of my spicier fanfics.

'tis the season for the king and the pauper to be equals, after all; karma is magnanimous, meticulous, and malicious. ]

Comments

hyrule

[scourgingstars]

[Thunk went the end of a tremendous greatsword as it flew into a high point of a particularly thick tree trunk like a javelin; a split second later followed a streak of magenta-colored light, and in a burst of magic a particularly scruffy man in dark clothes appeared. Hanging from the sword's hilt by one hand as though it were the most natural thing in the world, he regarded Gilgamesh with a small smile that lacked anything resembling warmth or humor that wasn't derisive.]

Lovely weather out here, isn't it?

[The normal greeting one gives to someone stuck in a tree.]

[throwmoreswords]

[ sometimes, your brain tells you that you have the physicality to do something, and that physicality comes at the expense of your body being strong enough and big enough to do the thing, and the world just isn't ready for it

which is all a convoluted way to say that Gilgamesh had been climbing in trees and the branch hadn't taken kindly to it, so one good snap later and he was dangling with one leg caught while the rest of him just sorta chilled

sometimes you just gotta chill; especially when there's a whole thing happening of weaponry in wood and a sudden man dangling with you, having decided to make his own proverbial tree branch to hang from, and does the tree deserve all this abuse? the world stands by in concern.

Gilgamesh does his best to shrug while upsidedown. ]

Good for hanging around in, I've found.

[ a normal response from someone stuck in said tree. ]

[scourgingstars]

[truly, the universe is uncaring to the plight of a single tree and those within it on this nice december afternoon.]

Serviceable, indeed. But you look to be in a bit of a situation, don't you?

[throwmoreswords]

[ the universe is a bitch and could do with dishing out a break or two, you know? ]

Oh, a touch, but the view's interesting so. It's not as bad as it could be.

[ he might be carefully trying to find a place to hook his other leg, folding up so that the blood stops pooling in his head quite so much. ]

[scourgingstars]

Hm, I've certainly seen worse sights from worse angles.



...So at which point should I warn you that branch is cracking?

Hyrule

[infezione]

[Sometimes, one needs a break from slamming back hot cocoa after putting together script after script.

Hyrule happens to be a perfect break, all things considered. He's in here often enough anyway.

There's certain things you expect when you wander through Hyrule, though--mobs of Bokoblins or other monsters, the typical wildlife, the occasional crime against common sense wrought of green goo and whatever materials happen to be around...

Things Fugo, specifically, does not expect in Hyrule: to see his employer's ludicrously rich friend tumbling ass over apple cart down a hill.

He's quick to make his way down after--carefully so, however.]

H-hey! Are you alright?!

[throwmoreswords]

[ he almost wishes he'd taken the hot cocoa option. you can put wine in hot cocoa, you know? and then you don't have to regret your choices, or your ankle doing a whole thing when you were trying to find your footing down a hill, and you don't have to form a beautiful gold and black circle as you go ouroboros style from very high to very low, landing with a spectacular flop on your back and a wheeze noise as all the air leaves your lungs and the sun swims rainbow-bright in your eyes.

there's a sound above him, and he wonders if it is perhaps whatever spiteful god he's caught the attention of today come to gloat at its workings. ]

Peachy. Haven't managed to kill me yet.

[ ... wheeze. ]

[infezione]

[Oof. Fugo frowns just a bit more.]

Well, there's something to be said for still being alive... [He pauses, before adding--] If you need healing at all, I'm more than capable of it?

[throwmoreswords]

[ Gil's just gonna lay there for a minute, arm over his eyes as he waits for his vertigo to reset. ]

Alive is good, right? Far better than the opposite, even if the bruises I'll have tomorrow beg to differ. [ a beat of consideration. ] I don't think anything's broken, but I'm also not much of a healer outside of paying for the ambulance, if you want to take a look.

[ he's gonna sit up. Slowly. ]

[infezione]

[The first part earns a snort.]

Well, if nothing else, I can at least take care of those bruises so you'll not have to deal with their protesting later.

[He kneels by Gil's side and starts carefully checking him over.

... Honestly, he'll do some quick healing anyway, just to make sure the man's alright.]

un; Arachne, voice

[adtendo]

I can’t say I’ve ever done purely secretarial work, but it can’t be too hard.

[On the other end of the line, Kafka smiles.]

I do have plenty of experience managing a busy schedule, and meeting with important people. If you’re willing to pay me what I want, I could consider your offer.

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

It's nothing too terribly intricate, I feel. Keep my schedule from snarling up too much, tell the people who don't need my attention that they don't need it while forwarding the people who do to me. I sit down to do it myself and it irritates me so much that I just stop doing it, which leads to a grand predicament for everyone else.

On one hand, I don't care and they can sort it out. On the other hand, I'd like not to be kidnapped and forcibly taken back to Europe, so perhaps it's better to take the devil's details for myself, in any case.

[ sometimes you're just used to scary women, man. the alarm bells aren't jangling. ]

Were you looking for something fulltime or parttime, and what prior experience do you have? I can be very generous with compensation for appropriate talent.

[adtendo]

Oh, is that all? Should be easy. I can be very persuasive when it comes to people.

[And not always with violence! But always with the perceived threat of violence.]

I can handle myself well enough with a sword, too. Should something happen and you find yourself captured, I would be able to make those responsible regret their decision.

[For the rest of their very short lives.]

As for my previous work, you could say I was in charge of cleaning up loose ends. The devil’s in the details, after all.

[throwmoreswords]

Oh, aren't you fun.

[ he does love a woman who speaks in salacious italics and puts emphasis on all the right syllables. ]

Though I don't think I'm quite annoying enough to warrant a bodyguard, the thought of having such an option in my little book of tricks is a heartening one. It sounds like your expertise leans more towards wrangling people; I could potentially split the position into halves. There's a lot of petty things that add over the course of the day, so it may be more sensible to shift the load.

[ he could handle the load by himself, but he doesn't want to. he might die from overwork. it feels a little more literal than it should, but now's not the time to shuffle those feelings into the pear wiggler and see what comes out. ]

un: musicologyminor

[youwouldntdownloada]

[Yasuho hems and haws over this a good bit- on the one hand SHE has studies.

On the other she has what amounts to a digital version of herself on her personal devices that makes most relevant tasks pretty simple to juggle.

...

Also she's broke.] I don't have secretarial experience,

[She says, as Paisley packages her resume off Anyway,]

But I have experience organizing and recording information on my own time for any number of reasons,

[So she adds, thinking one part of her research projects, another of that one time she and Ritsuka tried to help a guy understand teenagers. Oh well!]

...And I'm pretty adaptable!

[...She swears it-]

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

[ hmn.

there's two people expressing interest in the secretarial position, one with a person-facing bent, the other with an information preference...

well. time to Solomon it up and split that baby in two. it makes sense, right? it makes sense to Gil. how much sense that makes to anyone else is a whole other kettle of fish. ]

I might be able to shift the human-facing tasks into its own separate role, as my schedule and the influx of information and requests I receive are their own pile of nonsense.

Adaptable is good, at minimum. Not having experience simply means I'll be the one to train you how I desire--which is hardly trouble. Sometimes it's worth building from the ground up, and sometimes it's easier to pick a building and purchase it, as it were. Tell me more of what'd you do as far as organization would go.

i love him, screamlaughs

[youwouldntdownloada]

[Any normal company would compare the two and toss the lesser to the curb, but lucky for Yasuho's student loans, things are looking a little more Up!

Yasuho simply nods at the idea of there being two positions instead of one now. The relief is...Pretty evident even if she's trying to keep a professional expression. People facing bad. Information work good.] One thing I would request is that I have a designated work device; this is partially for the professional aspect, but also because of an ability I have, [she manages to explain, relieved that this is voice and not video.

Paisley has started doing some kind of...weird dance behind her. She's ignoring that, she's ignoring that.] It's not technology control or anything like that, but I can search, file, and compose data by thinking about it.

[She'll go into detail from there- and unfortunately so much of the explanation is about to be handwobbled- first stating that it's probably best to work alongside what Gil is used to for certain aspects of organization, just to keep things from changing for no good reason, and then covering the basic idea of what her end could be. Taking emails, sorting what emails are urgent, which ones can sit a day, which ones need a blanket reply- and which ones really need to never see the light of day, is Easy! Organizing events into a schedule that accounts for...Whatever Kaisou does, might be tricky, but as long as that stands more than every other company that's honestly not too shabby.

In gist, she seems pretty eager. Like she's tripped into a job her heart knows she'll enjoy, even if her brain hasn't completely caught up.]

Hyrule, late December

[prunedworlds]

Honestly, it had been a relatively uneventful month, all things told. Sure, she'd had a very emotional talk early in the month, and there was that whole small matter of getting accidentally cursed thanks to Jinwoo's bad luck, but overall there hadn't been any real trouble to speak of. When it came to Christmas itself, well, Ritsuka didn't even think much of the fact that she wasn't spending it with anyone in particular, it hadn't really been much more than a social holiday for here. But when she realized that New Year's was approaching and she was a world away from home twice over, now... Well, suffice it to say the homesickness hit her hard.

Hard enough, in fact, for her to reach out to the one person remaining in Kaisou who also had any memories of Chaldea at all. And lucky for her, a jaunt into Hyrule was just the sort of distraction she was hoping for. She didn't even bother asking what if anything Gil had in mind--maybe it was exploration, maybe looking for more of those koroks, or perhaps even using her as bait to lure unwary Yiga into attacking--but that was fine. Ritsuka just needed one of the closest things she had to a familiar face around here.

So it was with a mix of a certain subdued loneliness and more overt curiosity that she headed through the gate and started looking around for where Gil had said to meet. The now ever-present tail she still couldn't quite banish twitching slightly as she did her best to hold against the peculiar pressure that came with traversing the spirit realm in human form now, Ritsuka hurried over as soon as she spotted the golden-haired man.

"Gil!"

... Hopefully he hadn't been waiting too long or something, a bored or impatient Gil never boded well.

[throwmoreswords]

There's still just enough novelty in Hyrule's whole... thing that Gilgamesh's mind has yet to turn to more nefarious pursuits. Perhaps it's the (mostly lower) level of technology, or the undeveloped wilds of the place, but something about Hyrule eases him. There's a comfort in the simplicity of it all, monsters notwithstanding, that he keeps coming back to; he's not sure what he's looking for, but there's a pleasure in looking.

(A half-sketched memory plays that the edges of his mind, tending a campfire while the stars dotted the ribbon of midnight sky above him, watching the green-haired man turn a beast carcass with utmost concentration, determined to successfully cook this one--)

His head comes up a little when his name is called, finally breaking the intense staredown he'd been having with a horse at the stable, hands in his pockets as he turns to look upon Ritsuka Fujimaru. He takes her in, appreciating her familiarity, another pocket of half-remembered things murmuring in the back of his mind that he politely packs down in favor of being here and now, stepping forward to greet the younger woman with his usual level of bombast.

"It is about time you arrived, Ritsuka Fujimaru! It is impolite to keep a king waiting, you little fool," he calls with his own measures of affection, uncaring at the way a few of the other travelers look to him with incredulity. He saunters towards her, eyes flicking down as something moves--and then he's circling behind her to get a better look. "And what have you done in the short time my eyes have been off of you, little mage?"

He's gonna try to poke the tail with a finger.

[prunedworlds]

Of course, Gil would be shameless enough to call out a greeting like that. Ritsuka pays it no mind, neither offended nor intimidated. It was just Gil being Gil, and if he were actually annoyed, he'd have much different words for her.

Though, ah, of course he hadn't seen her since that fateful afternoon with Jinwoo. Ritsuka turns and takes half a step back to keep the tail safely out of reach of curious hands.

"I didn't do anything, exactly... My friend found something neat, but it turned out it was cursed. We just didn't realize until I picked it up, so..."

She may be very intentionally omitting some details. Ritsuka didn't consider it anyone's fault, but the poor guy already blamed himself and his bad luck enough without anyone else getting on his case about it.

[throwmoreswords]

Shame is for people who care what others think, and if Gilgamesh doesn't give a hot, wet fuck about what people in his actual world think, what are peasants from a whole other realm going to do to him emotionally? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. They barely even register as real people as far as he's concerned.

He will continue to try to poke the tail, because she's trying to protect it from him. He half-lifts his head as she explains the origin of her new appendage, looking bemused, pupils narrowing out to slits as he tries not to smirk too much. "Hoh? What rotten luck you must have, little one. At least the curse is a mild one, even if it is terribly funny."

Even if Gil is trying to sneak attack and catch the tail in his hand while he's amused and pretending like he's given up catching a hold of it.

voice: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

Honestly a whole bunch of my staff I got from the app and they're all great. Sure, you'll have some people who aren't from this corner of the galaxy and you'll have suuuuper fake paperwork to process, but at least they're way more understanding of the weird stuff that goes on around here than normie staff are.

[Still. Poor, put upon Gil. With only amusement and not a hint of seriousness in his tone:]

Careful, he might poach your staff from you, too. You can't trust him, he's sneaky!

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

... I mean. Not that I'm going to admit to anything particularly illegal in a public space, unlike some people, but it's not the first time I've had to do a little something or another to make paperwork fall my way. It's trivial.

[ life is hard when you're a billionaire and the people who make you money won't leave you alone. you hired them to make money! not ask questions! ]

And that would be more the pity--he doesn't really have anyone I can thieve back. The boys that work his desk are too aware of what I am, absolutely not on the feral one that comes and goes, and.

I've seen his brother lift a phone and immediately hang it up. That does nothing to serve me. Vergil Vittore truly is cruel and unusual.

Maybe I should also poach your employees.

[bebest]

TECHnically, it's Zodiac doing all the illegal stuff. We're just accepting whatever paperwork the give people who aren't from here. Just innocent businessmen trusting in the paperwork given to us!

[Life is so so hard!! Whenever will anyone think of the rich people?]

He's got Rosey- she's a gem. But also works at the Vogue so let's not stretch her amazing skills too thin, huh? She's carrying so much on her shoulders. But yeah, can't say I'm surprised about Dante at all. Love him, but not surprised.

[He snorts idly.]

Vergil gets special dispensation for reasons you are super aware of. It means I let him get away with it. Don't think you can top that one, Babe.

[throwmoreswords]

On one hand, it's still your fault for accepting the bad paperwork--but not if your lawyer's good enough, and I assure you, my lawyers are impeccable. I'm sure you know the feeling.

[ what is a businessman without a pool of legalese sharks at his beck and call, after all?

he's gonna have to think--Rose sounds familiar, gonna do a light Libra lookup and the sneer in his voice is probably palpable. ]

Ah. Her? I'd rather pay a man downtown to swing a baseball bat at my head than be involved with her. Dante is a cruel temptress who flirts entirely too much for someone who starts it with 'but don't get any ideas'. It is suffering over here, Zulius.

[ but he'll perk back up and laugh a little. ]

Yes, yes, Zulius, I have eyes. I'm better at playing socially capable on television, who do you think he spitballs ideas with. My ass is still better, and you're more likely to see it before your forties.