kowase: <user name=brokiloen> (112)
Vergil ([personal profile] kowase) wrote in [community profile] kaisou2023-10-24 09:29 pm

get the fuck out of my kitchen stronzo

WHO: Vergil + Gilgamesh, + Libra Network
WHERE: Vergil's apartment
WHEN: Late October
WHAT: Gil tries to videoshame Vergil about cooking, Vergil unoreverse-cards him
WARNINGS: Just general shenanigans


[ we've been here before--gil's normal habit of posting things he finds Incredibly Funny on the network--or if you have the man on instagram, he has a habit of posting up things like that, there, too but.

Today you get a video of Vergil stomping around his kitchen, hair half-unkempt, still wet from a recent shower. Fully dressed though, unlike a shirtless Gilgamesh--but that's normal. The man is allergic to shirts. ]


You no what--no. You are not taking a video of me for your Vine, give me that.

[ before gil can start to make his argument, Vergil is grabbing the phone from the man. Directing the camera at what seems to have the man in a knot--his beautiful prestine kitchen is--fine, but there's a pot of boiling water with spaghetti on it on the counter. But. Oh no. ]

You come into my kitchen, you use my ingredients and my kitchenware and you snap the noodles in half? Where did you even get the jarred sauce-- Sono così stanco di te-- I leave you alone for an hour and you commit CRIMES in my general presence. I

[ he's gonna' push the phone back into gil's hands. giving his own hand a very ... odd, pinched together shake as he moves to try to throw the sauce in the garbage. ]

Stop having small pots, Vittore, what do you want from me? [ Gilgamesh protests with a loud, wild laugh--clearly amused by all these antics, despite everything else. The camera turning towards him as he decides to direct his attention to the network--mimicking Vergil's frantic hand-waving. ]

He said he had an appointment and wasn't even supposed to be here right now. What am I to do, STARVE? He's starving me, everyone.

Breaking noodles that are store-bought is not a crime, they have no rights. Surely, you agree with me.
femmecatale: (43)

Video; un: Takamaki

[personal profile] femmecatale 2023-10-25 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Deep sigh before she turns the camera on]

Didn't anyone warn you to not mess with an Italian in their kitchen? It's one of the biggest sins to commit against them.

But...

Do you want your normal order delivered to Vittorio's place?
throwmoreswords: (we're not going home tonight)

video; un: AUO

[personal profile] throwmoreswords 2023-10-25 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
But it's so funny, Ms. Takamaki. [ Vergil is banging and talking loudly and sternly in the background, apparently ranting about how simple it is to make a sauce, you heathen while Gilgamesh just looks terribly pleased with himself. ]

Not yet. Apparently the blood of his ancestors has taken up root in his bones and he feels compelled to cook for me.
femmecatale: (35)

[personal profile] femmecatale 2023-10-25 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
Funny to you maybe, sir. [The amount of sarcasm she can get away with.....] But I think poor Vittore is going to have a stroke...

[She sighs again.]

I'm surprised he's still willing to cook for you after you committed this atrocity.
throwmoreswords: (someone else's own mood)

[personal profile] throwmoreswords 2023-10-25 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Funny to me! And really, that's all that matters. He's a devil, his brother's told me about walking around with a sword in his chest multiple times. He'll live through a little cardiac distress.

[ he looks like the cat who dipped a canary in cream. ]

I suppose it's either that or I keep doing things to noodles in his house, and it's not like he can evict me with a clean conscience.
femmecatale: (13)

[personal profile] femmecatale 2023-10-29 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Is he a devil now? Or was he a devil at one point.

.... and please don't impale your friend to try and prove it.

[DEEPEST. SIGH. EVER.]
femmecatale: (46)

[personal profile] femmecatale 2023-10-29 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I've known enough Italians through school to know you don't break the pasta.

It's up there with messing with someone's coffee.

And for the nth time, please call me Ann. Miss Takamaki makes me feel old.
Edited 2023-10-29 20:41 (UTC)
femmecatale: (61)

[personal profile] femmecatale 2023-11-08 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
[THE MISS WAS PART OF THE PROBLEM, SIR. But we're getting there.]

If you did though, would you bring some decent coffee back with you? Some of the stuff here is just... gross.