![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
get the fuck out of my kitchen stronzo
WHO: Vergil + Gilgamesh, + Libra Network
WHERE: Vergil's apartment
WHEN: Late October
WHAT: Gil tries to videoshame Vergil about cooking, Vergil unoreverse-cards him
WARNINGS: Just general shenanigans
[ we've been here before--gil's normal habit of posting things he finds Incredibly Funny on the network--or if you have the man on instagram, he has a habit of posting up things like that, there, too but.
Today you get a video of Vergil stomping around his kitchen, hair half-unkempt, still wet from a recent shower. Fully dressed though, unlike a shirtless Gilgamesh--but that's normal. The man is allergic to shirts. ]
You no what--no. You are not taking a video of me for your Vine, give me that.
[ before gil can start to make his argument, Vergil is grabbing the phone from the man. Directing the camera at what seems to have the man in a knot--his beautiful prestine kitchen is--fine, but there's a pot of boiling water with spaghetti on it on the counter. But. Oh no. ]
You come into my kitchen, you use my ingredients and my kitchenware and you snap the noodles in half? Where did you even get the jarred sauce-- Sono così stanco di te-- I leave you alone for an hour and you commit CRIMES in my general presence. I
[ he's gonna' push the phone back into gil's hands. giving his own hand a very ... odd, pinched together shake as he moves to try to throw the sauce in the garbage. ]
Stop having small pots, Vittore, what do you want from me? [ Gilgamesh protests with a loud, wild laugh--clearly amused by all these antics, despite everything else. The camera turning towards him as he decides to direct his attention to the network--mimicking Vergil's frantic hand-waving. ]
He said he had an appointment and wasn't even supposed to be here right now. What am I to do, STARVE? He's starving me, everyone.
Breaking noodles that are store-bought is not a crime, they have no rights. Surely, you agree with me.
WHERE: Vergil's apartment
WHEN: Late October
WHAT: Gil tries to videoshame Vergil about cooking, Vergil unoreverse-cards him
WARNINGS: Just general shenanigans
[ we've been here before--gil's normal habit of posting things he finds Incredibly Funny on the network--or if you have the man on instagram, he has a habit of posting up things like that, there, too but.
Today you get a video of Vergil stomping around his kitchen, hair half-unkempt, still wet from a recent shower. Fully dressed though, unlike a shirtless Gilgamesh--but that's normal. The man is allergic to shirts. ]
You no what--no. You are not taking a video of me for your Vine, give me that.
[ before gil can start to make his argument, Vergil is grabbing the phone from the man. Directing the camera at what seems to have the man in a knot--his beautiful prestine kitchen is--fine, but there's a pot of boiling water with spaghetti on it on the counter. But. Oh no. ]
You come into my kitchen, you use my ingredients and my kitchenware and you snap the noodles in half? Where did you even get the jarred sauce-- Sono così stanco di te-- I leave you alone for an hour and you commit CRIMES in my general presence. I
[ he's gonna' push the phone back into gil's hands. giving his own hand a very ... odd, pinched together shake as he moves to try to throw the sauce in the garbage. ]
Stop having small pots, Vittore, what do you want from me? [ Gilgamesh protests with a loud, wild laugh--clearly amused by all these antics, despite everything else. The camera turning towards him as he decides to direct his attention to the network--mimicking Vergil's frantic hand-waving. ]
He said he had an appointment and wasn't even supposed to be here right now. What am I to do, STARVE? He's starving me, everyone.
Breaking noodles that are store-bought is not a crime, they have no rights. Surely, you agree with me.
can't kick him out haha
[ it is not going to take five minutes to do a proper sauce you are a liar and a charlatan and Gilgamesh is holding the noodles in hand, threateningly, thumb pressed to the midpoint of the noodle stick. ]
I know how to cook, but you have to recall two key factors.
One is that I have more money than I have time.
And two is that I was born in Iraq, you European fusspot.
this is the worst
[ SIR, IT IS WORLD PASTA DAY TOMORROW AND YOURE OFFENDING HIM LIKE YOU'RE PETTING A CAT IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. ]
Call me a fusspot all you wish. Born where you were, you are well travelled enough to be kind to your tastebuds.
Having more money than sense barely registers, here.
can make it worse, hang on
[ time to make this way worse as Gil pulls out his phone and brings up a delivery app. ]
But if Olive Garden won't abide, let's see... Fazoli's, Sphagetti Warehouse...
Ah. I could apparently order authentic Italian pizza from something called Charles Entertainment Cheese's Pizza Place.
[ his face is completely straight as he says this, as if he has no idea what dynamite he's just whipped into the eye of the approaching storm. ]
you are a plague
...Gilgamesh. [ Fullnamed. ] I may be a European who has recently moved to America, with very little knowledge of what your country has in it, and what disgraceful things they do to proper Italian food.
But even I am aware of the nightmare hellscape that is Chuck E. Cheese.
I will throw you out a window.
I know you will survive it.