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Entry tags:
get the fuck out of my kitchen stronzo
WHO: Vergil + Gilgamesh, + Libra Network
WHERE: Vergil's apartment
WHEN: Late October
WHAT: Gil tries to videoshame Vergil about cooking, Vergil unoreverse-cards him
WARNINGS: Just general shenanigans
[ we've been here before--gil's normal habit of posting things he finds Incredibly Funny on the network--or if you have the man on instagram, he has a habit of posting up things like that, there, too but.
Today you get a video of Vergil stomping around his kitchen, hair half-unkempt, still wet from a recent shower. Fully dressed though, unlike a shirtless Gilgamesh--but that's normal. The man is allergic to shirts. ]
You no what--no. You are not taking a video of me for your Vine, give me that.
[ before gil can start to make his argument, Vergil is grabbing the phone from the man. Directing the camera at what seems to have the man in a knot--his beautiful prestine kitchen is--fine, but there's a pot of boiling water with spaghetti on it on the counter. But. Oh no. ]
You come into my kitchen, you use my ingredients and my kitchenware and you snap the noodles in half? Where did you even get the jarred sauce-- Sono così stanco di te-- I leave you alone for an hour and you commit CRIMES in my general presence. I
[ he's gonna' push the phone back into gil's hands. giving his own hand a very ... odd, pinched together shake as he moves to try to throw the sauce in the garbage. ]
Stop having small pots, Vittore, what do you want from me? [ Gilgamesh protests with a loud, wild laugh--clearly amused by all these antics, despite everything else. The camera turning towards him as he decides to direct his attention to the network--mimicking Vergil's frantic hand-waving. ]
He said he had an appointment and wasn't even supposed to be here right now. What am I to do, STARVE? He's starving me, everyone.
Breaking noodles that are store-bought is not a crime, they have no rights. Surely, you agree with me.
WHERE: Vergil's apartment
WHEN: Late October
WHAT: Gil tries to videoshame Vergil about cooking, Vergil unoreverse-cards him
WARNINGS: Just general shenanigans
[ we've been here before--gil's normal habit of posting things he finds Incredibly Funny on the network--or if you have the man on instagram, he has a habit of posting up things like that, there, too but.
Today you get a video of Vergil stomping around his kitchen, hair half-unkempt, still wet from a recent shower. Fully dressed though, unlike a shirtless Gilgamesh--but that's normal. The man is allergic to shirts. ]
You no what--no. You are not taking a video of me for your Vine, give me that.
[ before gil can start to make his argument, Vergil is grabbing the phone from the man. Directing the camera at what seems to have the man in a knot--his beautiful prestine kitchen is--fine, but there's a pot of boiling water with spaghetti on it on the counter. But. Oh no. ]
You come into my kitchen, you use my ingredients and my kitchenware and you snap the noodles in half? Where did you even get the jarred sauce-- Sono così stanco di te-- I leave you alone for an hour and you commit CRIMES in my general presence. I
[ he's gonna' push the phone back into gil's hands. giving his own hand a very ... odd, pinched together shake as he moves to try to throw the sauce in the garbage. ]
Stop having small pots, Vittore, what do you want from me? [ Gilgamesh protests with a loud, wild laugh--clearly amused by all these antics, despite everything else. The camera turning towards him as he decides to direct his attention to the network--mimicking Vergil's frantic hand-waving. ]
He said he had an appointment and wasn't even supposed to be here right now. What am I to do, STARVE? He's starving me, everyone.
Breaking noodles that are store-bought is not a crime, they have no rights. Surely, you agree with me.
can make it worse, hang on
[ time to make this way worse as Gil pulls out his phone and brings up a delivery app. ]
But if Olive Garden won't abide, let's see... Fazoli's, Sphagetti Warehouse...
Ah. I could apparently order authentic Italian pizza from something called Charles Entertainment Cheese's Pizza Place.
[ his face is completely straight as he says this, as if he has no idea what dynamite he's just whipped into the eye of the approaching storm. ]
you are a plague
...Gilgamesh. [ Fullnamed. ] I may be a European who has recently moved to America, with very little knowledge of what your country has in it, and what disgraceful things they do to proper Italian food.
But even I am aware of the nightmare hellscape that is Chuck E. Cheese.
I will throw you out a window.
I know you will survive it.