Text | UN: otterfan4131973

[godmaker]

WHO: Neuvillette and you!
WHERE: Libra app
WHEN: Oct 12 (after the horror plot)
WHAT: Neuvillette's intro (?) and shopping list (?)
WARNINGS: mild body horror/dark humor

☆ Looking for Various Services and Procurement (Blue Fish Park)

I am looking for the following:

• Semi permanent glamour charm (object or spell based)


• Permanent memory erasure charm (object or spell based)


• Lobotomy or trepanation services (must have consistent reviews)


• 12 cases of Smirnoff vodka or Bacardi 151 rum

Payment includes delivery fee. Please e-mail me with your rates or bartering contracts. Would prefer items be on hand.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Comments

[bleakdecember]

Are they for yourself, or someone else?

[godmaker]

Myself. Why would I have a lobotomy performed on someone else?

[bleakdecember]

People usually have lobotomies performed on someone else??
It's a brutal and archaic procedure anyway
...
Though memory charms might also be
Just get a good disguise like the rest of us

video

[godmaker]

[video opens with a very put upon sigh. neuvillette is at a really bad angle that says a lot about how little he's used any sort of selfie video.]

How am I to hide this?

[when they first met, he had normal blue eyes; long white hair from age. now his eyes are a slitted, inhumanly pale periwinkle, and his ears are noticeably pointy. there's blue streaks in his hair.]

I do not like contact lenses.

text because he's being a jerk

[bleakdecember]

I know what you look like.
It's called a wig and sunglasses.
...And a hat or something for the ears.

[godmaker]

[??????????????]

I cannot wear all of those all the time. A glamour would solve that.

[bleakdecember]

You only wear them while out
And then take them off at home
How does a judge not understand the simple concept of a disguise?

It'd be cheaper and easier to acquire

[godmaker]

I do not want to see them at any given time. I can hardly wear a disguise in my leisure time. And money is no object; I have all the time in the world.

[the frown that settles on his face is the sort of frown grandfathers get when they're contemplating their train collection from 1940.]

Why do you know so much about disguises?

[bleakdecember]

Or you could teal with your problems
Unless they're a threat to your safety

It's just common sense
I read a lot of mystery novels
Which shouldn't be surprising considering my field of study

[godmaker]

I am the threat to safety, unfortunately.

Fictional mystery novels will rot your brain. If you have free time you should read more case studies. Would you like a list?

[bleakdecember]

Wait a second.
You're the threat to someone's safety?
Are you... planning something?

Oh, come on
I read case studies for school
Are you allergic to the concept of fun?
And people say I'm a buzzkill.

1/2

[godmaker]

attachment: CASE FILES EU (1)(15).zip

I have sent you a collection of case files that you may peruse in your leisure time.

[sorry u don’t rly have a choice in this akechi. upon unzipping the file it is a folder of about 200 pdfs. they start off extremely dry, but they gradually progress into cases like serial fae killings. a crime of passion between three selkies. some of these have dates like 1660.]

[godmaker]

No, I am not planning anything. I am not a fan of premeditated murder.

[bleakdecember]

...

[He doesn't respond for about half an hour. He's skimming over them to see if any are interesting. And boy. Are they.]

Where did you even find some of these?

[godmaker]

I told you. I am a judge. Naturally I have presided over many cases.

[bleakdecember]

A lot of these don't even seem real
Like, what
Property dispute among... werewolves?
Really?

[godmaker]

[he looks vaguely amused.]

I know you do not like the supernatural, but in practice, there is little difference in behavior between the halves of the world.

[bleakdecember]

It's not that I theoretically have any problem with the supernatural
It just ruined my life

That is... somehow depressing
Even the mystical is as petty and cruel as humans
No wonder you need alcohol