text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

WHO: Blade and you
WHERE: The network
WHEN: Lateish August
WHAT: Grumpy man has a complaint.
WARNINGS: None, but I'm linking my opt out post in case this character gives you the heebs. NOTHING in there is gonna come up right now, since he remembers fuck all, but just so you're Aware.

[text;]

I have rooted my phone ten times and I still can't uninstall this app. If this is some kind of prank, the creators will be sorely disappointed in their catch.

I don't need a phone that badly. I can use the parts for other projects.

[Work can deal with it.]

To whom it may concern:

I am not interested in social media.

I am not interested in 'making friends'.

I am not interested in speaking to people who think they know me.

I am not interested in trying to remember something that is no longer there.

I am not interested in anything.

Consider this a warning. You will regret testing me.

Comments

Text | UN: makeitaventi

[venti_late]

[Oh, you're not interested in making friends?

You shouldn't have come to Kaisou, motherfucker.]

You might want to check your laptop and other smart devices, then. You'll probably see the app there, too!

Welcome to Kaisou, new friend! I'm Venti, a performer at The Vogue. It's such a pleasure to meet you, friend!

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

[HE CAME HERE FOR A JOB WHERE NO ONE KNEW HIM PLEASE]

You can't be serious.

[There's like. Two minutes until his next message.]

How did this even happen? Some kind of virus?

... I am not your friend.

[venti_late]

[You will never know peace again for you are interacting with a god. Your pleas will fall on deaf ears.]

I dunno, probably magic. Considering it can work even if your phone doesn't have signal, like in a Spirit Realm or in the middle of Blacksburg, Virginia, I'd say it's just some fancy magic imbedded into the app itself.

You are now, Bladie. If that is your real name.

un: c-z; text

[bolledivita]

yeah unfortunately you're not escaping the app

and double unfortunately we have people here who will take "not interested in making friends" as a challenge

[unreachableside]

Are people always this difficult?

Where is the block function.

[bolledivita]

no
they're often more difficult

i've been on this app a year and i haven't found a block function yet, as much as i wish i could sometimes

video | un: lastlullaby

[end_singer]

If that was not intended as a challenge, then I'm afraid you have made a grave mistake. There are quite a lot of souls here who treat befriending others much like persistance hunting, and it appears you have made yourself a promising target.

[If it were anyone else, this would probably sound teasing or mocking or perhaps even a little like a threat. Nito is, however, a straightforward creature, and his tone is quite matter-of-fact about it.]

text;

[unreachableside]

[What the fuck. What the fuck. That's a skeleton. That's a skeleton wearing more skeletons and it is talking and that voice is entirely wrong. What

The

Fuck

Just staring at his phone. And staring. And trying to make sense of this.]

... You are a skeleton.

[He has a demon in his head. Maybe it's not... out of the realm of possibility? It's not like that bastard ever told him anything about other weird paranormal things. But...]

[end_singer]

That is the form I have manifested in, yes. I am Gravelord Nito, personification of Death of a world beyond this. 'Tis a pleasure to meet you.

[Nito gives the impression that he might be smiling a little, as well as the impression that he's being completely truthful, even about considering this first meeting a pleasure.]

text | un: laluna

[crisantemo]

[ So after just... reading through all the other response ( there's the talking skeleton ), Lapis will eventually come in with; ]

well as you've probably gathered by the previous responses, you aren't getting much of a choice in this. so hello! welcome to the app, don't worry about the face on the moon it should be safe despite how creepy it looks. o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

i know it's inconvenient and annoying, but at the very least you've only become aware of this now. the first part of this month has been rough for a lot of app users, but right now the biggest danger is some of the monsters inside the gate that just popped up. but if you can fight, you'll be fine.

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

[She seems slightly less obnoxious than the green twink. Though to be fair he's being helpful now, if not immediately trustworthy...

Wait what's this about the moon?]

There's a...? Actually, never mind. I don't think any reasoning could explain something like that to my satisfaction.

[This may as well happen.]

I can defend myself, but I wouldn't say that I put much emphasis on learning techniques. I prefer building things. I always have.

[crisantemo]

i just try not to think about it, honestly. (´。＿。｀) it should be gone once the month is over.

[ Hopefully. She misses being able to look at the moon and not be traumatised. ]

oh, then this gate might interest you. when you're in there, there's a feature on the app that will let you build things by kinda... fusing items together. not exactly sure how it works, an old man there mentioned something about ancient technology, but you can get creative with it.

[ Go build a gundam, Blade - ]

text: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

[Not interested in making friends, huh?]

That sounds like a CHALLENGE.

Okay, you're trapped on a desert island, you're allowed to bring:

- One song
- One food
- One movie
- One item of clothing

What do you bring? GO!

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

It was not a challenge.

[What the fuck is wrong with people here?

He can't tell if this is better or worse than filming an execution??????]

I'm not playing this game.

[Even if he felt like playing along, he... doesn't really know... ah.]

[bebest]

Why did you make it sound like one, then?

[Worse. It's so much worse.]

Awww come on. Look, I'll go first!

- Somewhere from West Side Story - THE ORIGINAL ONE
- Devil's Food Cake
- The Birdcage
- The dressing gown I definitely didn't steal from Lea Salonga's dressing room that one time

See how easy that was!

[He doesn't know, sorry buddy!]

text | un: blackbirdtarot

[drewthetower]

I mean you can ignore the app but you can't get rid of it

any phone you get will get the app back on it

hi welcome to Kaisou where the supernatural shit is real and our opinions don't matter

[unreachableside]

It appears to have installed itself on every capable device I own, even the ones that are not connected to a network. How inconvenient.

I knew magic was real in theory. This is something else entirely.

text | UN: Thorn

[poisontippedcure]

Several others have already testified to this, but you won’t be able to remove the app. Kaisou will find a way. You may as well accept your fate now.

If, by any chance, you do happen to succeed though, please let me know.

[unreachableside]

Accept my fate as what? Some kind of social experiment? I'm not interested.

[That's a lie, he's totally interested in this whole magic engineering thing he just heard about.]

It's looking more and more unlikely by the minute.

Is everyone in the city on this network, or is it only available to a select few?

text; un: eunietheboss

[medicgunner]

alright settle down there edgelord

[unreachableside]

I have my reasons for being this way.

text; un: dabi

[dabi]

ok so like go off as much as you want about not wanting so socialize i get it some people are just mole people but like

not gonna lie, the name 'blade' goes fucking hard

text; un: blade

[unreachableside]

[Actually the mole people are something else--

Still, a compliment is not what he expected! What is... praise...?]

It's... because I make weapons.

I make other things as well, but I am still looking for a studio space that will accommodate a forge.

un: velvet | text

[gotbadblood]

Should've just told them you eat people.

[unreachableside]

[...]

Is that a serious suggestion?

[He was kind of hoping to keep the possession under wraps for like, a day or two.]