[Network Post] March into March!

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: March 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[Wherever you are, your phone will start to ring and vibrate. It doesn’t matter if your phone was off or on mute - it will ring anyway. Checking the phone, you'll see the Libra app has opened itself and will not close until you read and response to a new post from Zodiac]

Hello! Thank you for using the Libra App!

Just a few quick words today! First of all, we'd like to extend a congratulations to Horse! While Zodiac is looking into ways to return everyone to their homes, Horse took the initiative and found a way on her own! She truly showed that a can-do attitude truly is all you need to overcome barriers! We're proud of you, Horse, you're an inspiration to all of us, and we wish you the best wherever you may be.

But for the rest of you, don't worry! Zodiac is still here to monitor the situation and support you where it's needed. As we mentioned before, everyone on this app is experiencing unusual spirit readings. We've also found that this may cause some side effects such as a change in hair or eye color, new unusual body parts, new abilities and minor memory problems. So far there's no indication that these side effects are serious, so try not to worry about it! We promise to continue to keep you informed, as Zodiac values good and open communication.

Also, thank you for all your specimen donations last month! They will help in our understanding of how to utilize the Spirit Realm for the benefit of humanity.

Now, let's end things off with an icebreaker question!


This post has been sponsored by Mayfield Cafe! Come for the Sea-Salt Ice Cream, Stay for the Hedgehog Croquet!

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone. Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac]

Comments

[hexposition]

...The app keeps crashing every time I try to access the settings.

Perhaps I should look into actually upgrading my phone...

[drewthetower]

oh geez yeah maybe. how old is yours?

[hexposition]

I'm not entirely sure anymore... maybe four years? Maybe longer? I don't often use my phone aside from calling and the occasional text, so it's never really been important to upgrade.

[drewthetower]

honestly more surprised they let you go without upgrading for that long, they're always hounding my aunts to upgrade

[hexposition]

Oh, believe me, they're hounding us as well... but if I upgrade, my grandmother will want to upgrade as well, and that's a whole endeavor I'm not entirely sure I'm emotionally prepared for.

[drewthetower]

fair

anyway, August Villareal

[hexposition]

Emma Millstein. It's a pleasure to meet you.

[...]

And I suppose I should just be up front about it now: Yes, I am related to that Millstein, and I apologize deeply for my grandmother's behavior.

[drewthetower]

oh gods

wait

she's a GRANDMOTHER?!

[hexposition]

Thus the apology.

And yes, she is. I know, she hardly acts the part...

[drewthetower]

she types like a twelve year old!

[hexposition]

Yes... unfortunately, I know.

She does know how to spell and write a proper sentence. I imagine she just doesn't feel like putting in the effort.

[drewthetower]

I cannot believe I spend at least one weekend a month fighting over shit with a GRANDMOTHER

is she always like that?

[hexposition]

Not all the time.

I know her behavior is questionable, as is her line of work. But believe it or not, she is actually quite knowledgeable, and extremely good at what she does. I know I owe much of who I am today to her guidance over the years.

[...]

She just also happens to be argumentative, trouble-making, vague, and vegetable-averse, to name a few of her faults.

[drewthetower]

oh I believe she knows her shit, you don't argue like that unless you know your shit. she just always wants to argue!

wait vegetable averse? like she won't eat 'em?

[hexposition]

I think she just enjoys having something to be angry about, if I'm honest. Perhaps it's boredom.

And yes, she refuses to eat them. You know how children will push peas around their plate and into their potatoes to make it seem as if they've eaten them? That's her.

[drewthetower]

wow. honestly that's impressive

[hexposition]

That's a word for it.