kaisou | video | un: empyrean

WHO: Kaveh and you
WHERE: the app
WHEN: early May
WHAT: A new arrival complains about a weird development in his life.
WARNINGS: none!

[ The video opens with a shot of a certain sparse as fuck tiny basement apartment, before the phone's owner adjusts the available options, switching from the rear camera to its front-facing counterpart. The user posting under the name 'empyrean' turns out to be a young man in his mid-to-late twenties with a pretty face, long golden yellow hair, and oddly distinctive red eyes. He hasn't yet realized they're no longer brown. ]

Is this thing on? Yes, okay. Ahem.

[ At first he's only muttering to himself, but as soon as he verifies the recording is live, he begins properly. ]

I've been doing some reading. It seems this app appears on someone's phone shortly before strange things begin to occur? I'll admit I hardly understand half of what you people are talking about; it all seems too strange to be true. But, considering I've just had my own supernatural encounter, I'm not in any place to judge.

[ Kaveh reverses the camera again, this time revealing a small green plant-like creature perched contently on his knee. It's a Budew, but he doesn't know that. ]

Can any of you explain how my roommate's plush toy just came to life? I'm not really sure what I should do about this.

Knowing him, he'll probably blame this on me somehow.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay, I'll bite: what exactly is 'Wardah', then? Because it was a stuffed toy as of yesterday.

[ He doesn't like this kid's tone. It reminds him a bit of a certain someone, which immediately rubs him the wrong way. As for his second question... ]

I don't know who your 'sensei' is. You shouldn't share personal information on the internet, anyway.

She's a Budew, and if you're in his apartment you have to know him. Abasi al-Haytham?

[ What did he just say about personal information and internet safety? Well, maybe it doesn't count if you're sharing someone else's personal information. ]

You know al-Haytham?

[ His surprise is genuine, but he recovers quickly enough. ]

I'm amazed any of his students respect him enough to call him 'sensei'.

I don't.

[Damn Yuuki. This is in fact a lie but Yuuki won't admit to it, okay?]

He was my mentor in POKEPUPs, old habits die hard. Who're you?

That makes more sense.

[ Equally brutal, but unlike Yuuki, Kaveh actually means it. ]

I'm his roommate.

[ Before he can say more, something occurs to him, and he frowns. ]

Hold on, why do you know what your professor's apartment looks like, anyway?

He's not my professor, we're coworkers. [Yuuki be more helpful.] Do you know about POKEGO?

Coworkers?!

[ This kid is a college professor? He's either some kind of genius or an adult with a massive case of babyface. ]

...No, al-Haytham hasn't mentioned anything by that name.

That's who we work for. [A beat.] I'm eighteen, did you really think I was a professor at college?

[Because that tone said it all, sir.]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[ Two can play the refusing to admit to things that are true game. ]

Honestly, considering this involves al-Haytham, I shouldn't even be surprised. He insisted I fully disclose my employment history and any unsavory habits I might have developed since college, but he just so happens not to tell me he's involved with some kind of mysterious job on the side? Hmph. Typical!

Yeah, who the hell are you, anyway? You didn't answer my question about why you're in sensei's apartment.

I already told you, I'm his roommate. I moved in recently from out of town.

The name's Kaveh. I'm an architect.

Yeah, try harder. Sensei doesn't have anyone he likes enough to share his space with.

We have an arrangement. That's all you need to know.

[ Kaveh, do you not realize how that sounds, you might want to rephrase that— ]

Besides, why would I break into someone's apartment and then immediately incriminate myself on social media?

Text him yourself if you don't believe me.

[Yuuki could say something. He won't! But he could.]

No, I see your responses to him. So are you his new live in housekeeper or something?

Must I repeat myself? I'm an architect.

[ Actually, Yuuki is not really far off with that one. Kaveh has absolutely picked up most of the domestic chores since moving in, but of his own volition. ]

Look, I know it's hard to believe the man ever had a friend at any point of his life, but we were roommates back in college.

I'm likely the only person who could ever live with him.

[You know what? He wasn't going to say anything but then Jun came in with the baseball bat so Yuuki just.]

You can say you're his bitter ex, it's okay.

We are not—we have NEVER done anything of the sort. We were FRIENDS. FRIENDS!

[ Kaveh stop yelling at your phone, the people upstairs will get mad ]

You can be ex friends with benefits.

Christ Yuuki, they're probably banging.

[Sigh]

I wasn't going to say it.

THAT'S—

THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL!!!

Okay. If you say so.

[He says completely deadpan]

[spits up apple juice all over her desk]

video | un: empyrean

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