text; un: silverrose

[fionnuisce]

WHO: Waver+open
WHERE: The network
WHEN: A couple days after the Zodiac post.
WHAT: Damage control on the wreckage of his life.
WARNINGS: None, any that come up will be in subject lines.

So now that I've started this year by exploding in grand fashion, let me try again with a slightly cooler head.

My title is Lord El-Melloi II. My real name is Waver Velvet. I prefer to be called 'Professor', as only my family and close associates use or even know me by that name. I've had my reasons for keeping it quiet, but most of them are largely irrelevant here.

I apologize if my reticence has made me a difficult individual to coexist with. It is not something that comes from a place of inherent distrust, least of all after half a year spent in this world.

[he's trying very hard to say he tolerates most of you]

And please stop concerning yourselves with my hypothetical romantic life.

Comments

[fionnuisce]

Hey, it's nothing.

['It just feels wrong to have my name attached to that. I can't really explain it.'
'So does that mean that you don't really see yourself as a professor?'
'No, of course I do.']

[The problem wasn't with hating his title, it was with the brief spike of something like fear in hearing his real name from others. In the world of mages, 'Waver Velvet' was weak and useless--a liability. He couldn't exist in that reality, and 'Lord El-Melloi II' had taken his place a long time ago like a mask that could never come off.]

[He wondered, for just a second, if he'd lost that resolve of ten years ago which now felt like a distant dream.]

...Carry something like that for too long, and you forget who you were or ever could have been underneath it.

[hoshikiri]

Indeed. And when given freedom unexpectedly the anxiety it brings makes one want to return to their chains.

[He was absolutely speaking from experience. But clearly he didn't go back. He knew change was necessary. The only constant in the world, whether he liked it or not, was change.]

No one should have to go through this.

[fionnuisce]

Should, no. But sometimes it's just...necessary. To survive, to keep oneself safe, any number of reasons.

And sometimes one just resolves to make sure others don't have to go through the same.

[hoshikiri]

Mm, exactly. I would gladly carry this burden on my own if it meant no one else had to. [Said looking Waver straight in the eyes, implying that yes that meant him as well.

But knowing that was impossible, he shook his head.]

In the end there is little we can do but forge on, to do what we can to keep others from seeing what we have. [He closed his eyes, recalling those words that will never leave him.] For those we have lost, for those we can yet save.

[fionnuisce]

Everybody has something or other to carry. I just like to make sure no one else has to live through the worst of my own.

...But I like the sound of that, actually.

[hoshikiri]

I've dedicated myself to those words since hearing them. They may help you along as well.

[fionnuisce]

Whoever you heard it from has a good head on their shoulders. I'll definitely remember that one.