kaisou | Hello And Welcome To Food Safety Lessons With Katsuki

[ And indeed, Katsuki's correct. As it so often does, their new fancy modern speaker is blaring anachronistic energetic pop music like they'd heard back home; while Katsuki's helped Alberto bring his music tastes up to speed here, you can take the baby-grandpa out of mid-century Italy, but you can't take those grandpa-vibes out of him.

Even though Katsuki at least had the courtesy to text, it's only too late that Alberto sees it; he checks his phone because he hears the knocking over the music, grinning to himself as he reads it just before opening the door. At least he knows who'll be on the other side, but it's barely less of a surprise than it'd've been five seconds ago if he hadn't. Katsuki's met with an enthusiastic grin, far more delighted to greet him than any other time they've met — which is a nice development for Alberto, too. ]

Hah! Look who it is! Ciao~ C'mon in, we're just workin'...

[ Very much so, upon closer inspection: Why is Alberto splattered in black paint, and covered in... i-is that glitter? Yeah, definitely glitter — he's covered in random splotches of black paint and glitter. The apartment looks more or less the same as ever, still crazy, though now with a fancy armchair that wasn't around last time Katsuki came over, the only proper furniture to sit on in sight (and only because it randomly appeared out of thin air one day) but they like it — perfect holes for their tails. However, the most noticeable difference now is the pungent smell of fresh house paint, and a scattered collection of paint cans, rollers and brushes of all sizes, power tools, and various other hardware lying around the closed bathroom door, all in a perfect arrangement for tripping over... The boys always have their own special projects, whether working together or separately, but no matter what, it always seems to beg the question: What do Alberto and Luca get up to in here?! ]

Lucaaa, Katsuki's here — apparently...! Hah~

[Luca emerges from the bathroom and rushes out to join Alberto, closing the door behind him. Whatever they're getting up to, clearly they're getting up to it together, because Luca is equally splattered in black paint and glitter. He has to do a couple small jumps to get over the various cans and tools laying around.]

Hi, Katsuki! How are you? We were just painting!

[Enthusiasm all around here, apparently. That's not a bad thing. But it sure does still surprise him when people are happy to see him.

He eyes the mess of paint cans and power tools with no small amount of amazement. The city was crawling with dinosaurs not even twenty-four hours ago. And here these two are doing D.I.Y home improvement. Wonders never cease. But then it didn't look like the dinosaurs had made it out this way, so...]

I can see that.

[Ventilation. Windows should definitely be open in here. The heavy scent of fresh paint definitely tells him they aren't ventilating the place while they work.]

And smell it. You need to throw open a couple windows in here. Air it out.

[He's already heading for the nearest window as he says this.]

What are the power tools for? Or do I even want to know?

[ Alberto gives Katsuki a thumbs up with a snap of his fingers, wearing a cool, nonchalant expression, as he walks over to start opening a couple windows, responding smoothly as he does. He's very smitten with this project they've started, that much is clear from his off-handed affect about it. Like this is no big deal for them, just the kind of amazing stuff they do regularly, you know. And for all intents and purposes... it kind of is. ]

Oh, we're making a new bathroom. Lotta work. Lotta paint, hah.

[ Once the windows are open, though, he plops down gracelessly in the nest of pillows below. ]

Actually...— Luca, you hungry? Early lunch break? Yes? No?

[ They do tend to get very much in the zone, which is... not great when shut in a tiny room full of dizzying paint fumes for hours on end. What's worse, it's Alberto (because of course it is) who's insisting they keep the bathroom door shut while they work because he doesn't want the whole house to smell like paint, just making it even more noxious in there. Probably best for their health that Katsuki dropped in unannounced like this, really... ]

[Huh. Air the place out. Luca never even thought of that, but with how this place smells that sounds like a great idea! He heads over to open another window.]

We're going to make a space bathroom!

[And he sounds quite excited about the idea, too. Then Alberto suggests lunch and...that sounds like a great idea. It'll give them a chance to sit and chat with Katsuki, and also a break from painting the bathroom. It's fun and he's super excited about how cool the bathroom's going to be, but the smell is pretty strong and Luca had been getting a bit of a headache before Katsuki came, so maybe stopping for a bit is a good idea.]

A space bathroom?

[What the hell does that even mean? He can imagine that explains the paint. But the power tools are still a mystery. 'Making' a new bathroom, Alberto had said. Are they... taking out the fixtures?? Replacing them? He has so many questions and no idea if he actually wants answers...]

At least tell me you know power tool safety.

Yeah, yeah... Here, look—

[ "Yeah, yeah..." is a very encouraging answer to "do you know power tool safety," surely — and an answer surely expected of Alberto. One might also expect Alberto to shoot up out of his seat to meet Katsuki where he's at — usually, he might, and even now, he almost tries, but realizes as he sits up abruptly that he's actually a bit dizzy. So he merely pats the seat beside him, indicating for Katsuki to come join him, and fishes his phone out of his pocket. He waves Luca along over to join them too, as he opens up his camera roll to pull up their reference photos. ]

We're painting the walls right now, but we're gonna do the tub, the sink, the toilet, hah— the everything~ This is what we're copying, check it out:

[ Once Katsuki's beside him, Alberto zooms in on not a photo of another bathroom (as any normal human would likely expect), but instead, a photo of pure sparkles... Like that explains everything. ]

This is The Deep — in outer space! Pretty cool, huh~?

[ Alberto scrolls to the next photo, another primary source of inspiration, before handing the phone off to Katsuki to peruse the whole Webb Telescope gallery they've collected, as the telescope released more and more additions to this small series of photographs over time. He's grinning ear-to-ear, and waves to Luca encouragingly to elaborate in better words than he can, as he lets Katsuki marvel (he assumes!) over this bit of cosmic luxury they're emulating here. ]

Technically, actually, you're looking backwards in time right now, d'you know that~? Luca, tell him how it works, heh!

[Power tool safety? What does that even mean? Wanting to give a more encouraging answer than Alberto, Luca pipes up.]

Don't worry, we'll keep the power tools safe.

[He didn't even know that they needed to be kept safe. Luca goes to sit on the other side of Alberto so they can all look at the pictures together. Then Alberto asks Luca to explain the looking backwards in time thing. Which...is a little tricky, because Luca only just learned about this himself, but he did excitedly read up a bunch on it when he found out.]

Um...well...apparently light moves? And time passes while it moves? So if something is far away and you're looking at it, you're actually seeing how it looked when the light left to go to your eyes. And since the stars are far away, the farther away a star is, the further in the past you're seeing. So we're seeing the past! And apparently there's a telescope strong enough to see the first stars in the universe! Isn't that exciting?

[Absolutely nothing about this conversation has been reassuring. And he still has no clue what the hell they're actually doing. But he scrolls through the space photos anyway. Listening to Luca gush about space.

He knows what Luca's talking about, even if the specifics of how all this works had never been something he'd particularly cared to learn. It's clear Luca is pretty enthusiastic about it though.]

That's not what power tool safety is at all. I mean keeping tools unplugged and powered off when not in use, how to use them responsibly, what protective equipment you have to wear with certain ones... you guys read the owner's manuals for those things, right?

[He scrolls some more. All these pictures are gorgeous but he's still at a loss for what they're doing. If it was just painting the bathroom to look like space then there wouldn't be power tools.]

World is full of crazy shit, yeah. So you guys are really into space and stars, huh? Big into sci-fi or just really into astronomy?

Yeah, we'll do all that stuff, don't worry!

[ As inspiring as ever, Alberto... On the one hand, it's a good thing that their bathroom remodeling project really doesn't require power tools... While Alberto did buy a pretty nice power-drill set and an orbital sander, because they were on sale at the Home Depot and the Internet said they "could" use these things, the Internet also explicitly instructed that it wasn't necessary and that everything they want to do can easily be done by hand — so they likely won't be putting themselves at too much risk for this mission. But on the other hand: that just means they own this stuff now, and by the time they do eventually find a project they'll really need these tools for, the idea of reading the instruction manuals will be far further out of Alberto's mind by then. You win some, you lose some; they'll cross that bridge when they get there...

He's just sitting between the two, listening to Luca explain how light travels and nodding along at key points, smirking ear-to-ear, so smitten to be showing off after holing themselves up for days during this dinosaur debacle. It's been a much safer alternative, and one he's been happy to take over the dangerous adventure route, for once in his life. His spotty impulse control serves him well sometimes? Follow the dopamine, man... ]

Luca's an astronomy expert~ And he likes baths. So when I saw on the online newspaper that the NASA people took these photos of what Deep Space looks like, evidently, we decided it'd be cool if we could swim in stars like that, hah... And thusly: Space Bathroom~!

[ ...Natural conclusion, yup. He's clearly excited about it, though, taking his phone back from Katsuki with a conspiratorial grin and a theatrical wave toward the renovations hidden behind the closed door. There doesn't seem to be any water flooding anywhere, and from what can be seen of the project, apart from the strong smell of paint and the two polka-dotted preteens, they don't seem to have messed anything up so far — so there's something to be said for their Internet research skills improving. Even if Alberto still calls it "the online newspaper" on "the Everything Machine" and whatnot, but, hey. We're getting there. ]

Wait, there's protective equipment?

[There's a manual? Granted, Luca hadn't paid much attention because he's not quite sure what they'll be using the power tools for, and he figured he'd look at things more closely once they got there, but he hadn't even noticed the manual. Of course, he knows he just made it obvious that they didn't know anything about the stuff Katsuki was talking about, but this 'protective equipment' sounds important so he figures he should ask.]

Yeah, the space was mostly me...but Alberto's a great artist and has lots of great ideas to make the bathroom look really cool!

[At the back of his mind and mostly reminded by the fact that he's hungry, Luca wonders if they should go ahead and get started on making that early lunch, but decides they can at least wait until they finish showing off their bathroom ideas to Katsuki.]

For some tools, yeah. Safety goggles are usually a good idea with a lot of them. Dust masks. Earplugs if they're loud. Actually masks would probably be a good idea while painting too.

[Katsuki isn't exactly an expert of home improvement. But he does remember some stuff his mom taught him about safety with power tools when she would fix things up around the house. Trying to impart wisdom upon him when he was an unruly teen. And he absorbed information like a sponge so it stuck.]

So you're painting everything to look like those pictures?

[Okay they have his attention. That could be pretty cool if done right.]

[ Alberto casts a wary glance at Luca hearing about all this protective equipment they're not using... Ahem. Th-They'll talk about it. He pushes past smoothly without comment. ]

Yeah, we're painting the walls and ceilings today — and we got a bunch of jewels and glow-in-the-dark stars and stuff to glue all over, too. Then we're gonna do the sink and the toilet and the tiles and the bathtub. That's why I've got that orbital sander~ [ He says with a heavy implication of glamor, gesturing to the power tool sitting out across the room. So proud of his hardware, yup. ]

Painting the tub's the real project, though. It's gonna be beautiful, hah! But it'll take us a while, cuz it'll need several coats of epoxy, you know...

[ Which he gestures to with the same pomp as the orbital sander. Clearly trying to talk up his handyman expertise here. Oy va voy. But at least it seems they've done their research...? Like they might not be totally wrecking all their bathroom fixtures? Fingers crossed, at least. ]

[Oh. That...sure sounds like a lot of stuff they don't have. But Katsuki's question makes him perk up. Maybe Katsuki will have some ideas that will help them! Alberto does what's clearly a great job explaining the project and making it clear that they know a lot about orbital sanders and epoxy and all that stuff! Well, aside from the fact that they clearly don't know about the safety equipment, and the fact that Luca has no idea what those things are, only that they're among the things they bought. Once Alberto finishes his explanation, Luca pipes up.]

It's going to be the best bathroom ever! Katsuki, have you ever done anything like this before? You sound like you know a lot about this kind of thing!

[Considering his extensive knowledge about safety equipment. Then another thought pops into his head.]

Oh, Alberto, should we get started on lunch? I think we have some chicken.

[Raw chicken, ready to cook. And of course they have plenty of pasta.]

[Katsuki has no idea what an orbital sander is, honestly. Sands things, presumably, given the name. But how that connects to painting sinks and tubs?]

I've painted before. Nothing like what you're getting up to. Ambitious project. Let me know when you finish it.

[He's honestly curious how it's going to turn out. For the moment though...]

Right. You two cook all your own meals then?

[ Alberto shoves his phone back in his pocket, feeling less dizzy now that his head has cleared from the paint fumes... He pushes himself up by his hands on his knees as he stands, always overly animated even when breathing in concentrated chemicals. Oy. He sets off first in a long strut, waving the other two along. Chef Alberto, on the job... ]

Dai, andiamo. We'll do that chicken cheesy fettuccine thing again. It'll be better this time. I can feel it.

[ ...That's a foreboding a start to a meal. Like there's some supernatural force that sometimes frowns upon his cooking? And he can tune into it by some gut feeling? Bruno Madrigal's influence on this child's belief in bad luck is growing... Not to mention Alberto genuinely believes food needs music to have flavor; Massimo made one joke and he never let it go, man... He's confident he's got his facts straight about what constitutes a good meal — nevermind anything, uh, hygienic or safe... ]

Yep! Well...actually, Alberto does all the cooking.

[So they don't have anyone outside of them cooking, but since Luca would only know how to make the dumplings like his mother makes, which are just chopped up bits of seafood all held together in a bundle of seaweed, so all Luca can do is help out a little here and there.]

But I help out with little things while he cooks! And yeah, let's do the fettuccine! At least it tasted good!

[Even more ominous. Whatever was wrong with it didn't effect taste, so it had to be something else.]

[Uhh??? Katsuki looks between the two boys. Better this time? At least it tasted good? That's really fucking foreboding?]

Hold up. How did it go last time you made it?

Edited 2022-09-14 15:35 (UTC)

Eh. It tasted okay. Just didn't sit well. You know— Goes like that sometimes.

[ Alberto gives a dismissive shrug as they enter the kitchen. ]

I'm not using that sauce again, though. Just butter and cheese — I'll show you how, Luca. Katsuki, you just sit back. You're the guest.

[ So hospitable, but... with the subtext of "Goes like that sometimes" being that any meal here is possibly a crapshoot, it probably doesn't exactly make Katsuki wanna sit back and relax.

But with that, he starts collecting everything he needs, and as per his usual rule that music makes the food taste better, he flips on a scarily appropriate song to cook to on the speaker in the room over, loud enough to not drown out their conversation but still hear the words... which may become incredibly worrisome before the song's even over. It's well known by all his friends now that Alberto loves cooking for people. He's poisoned Luca, Luz, Bruno, and still others yet... So none of this "sits well..." ]

[Luca knows all too well how that goes. It must be a human food thing. He knows he never had this issue when growing up with what his mother prepared for him. Luca follows Alberto to the kitchen, ready to be shown how to make whatever they're making. Since he'd already mentioned using the chicken to make something before, Luca goes ahead and gets that out, tossing it in the counter.]

[So far nothing of concern has happened, but Katsuki is watching them both now.]

You didn't use something expired did you?

[Time to start slowly feeling out the issue here. Because something isn't sitting right now thanks.]

[ The question draws Alberto's attention, reminding him that, oh yeah, those dates are a thing. He needs to check those more often, but he doesn't think anything bad has happened so far... Barring violent illness and maybe, um, death, he doesn't count digestive troubles as "something bad happening." That's just part of learning to cook human food. And part of just... eating food in general. It was sometimes a crapshoot on his island, too, whether what he'd foraged would make him sick or not. Just a part of life, he figures. Stomach sickness and food poisoning.

He goes to check the date on the package, the plastic-wrapped tray of raw chicken coming out of the fridge, rather than the freezer. He frowns facetiously at it and shrugs his shoulders. ]

Eh. We got it like— What, Luca, when'd we go to the store last, like a week ago? I'unno — few days before the lizard monsters showed up... Boh— s'probably fine.

[ "Probably fine" is an encouraging phrase to hear in a kitchen talking about raw chicken, yup. Nevermind that the FDA advises raw chicken in the fridge should be eaten no more than two days past the sell-by date. Sooo... we're already well past that. Nbd.

With another little shrug (and a quick pick of his nose), he tears the plastic wrap open, slaps the chicken breasts on the cutting board, and begins to season them, pressing the spices in with his bare, unwashed hands... Mm, mm, mm. ]

Edited 2022-10-01 00:00 (UTC)

Yeah, it was just a week ago.

[Luca is very good at picking up on human things, but he's also been here for much less time than Alberto and 'expiration dates' is one of the things he hasn't learned about yet. So, naturally, asks.]

What's expired? It's already dead, if that's what you mean. I don't think they'd wrap it in this clear stuff otherwise.

[Oh well, whatever. He'll just help Alberto out.]

Do you need any veggies? I can get them for you so you can chop the veggies and chicken up together.

[It really saves a lot of time that way, after all, and Luca figures that makes things easier so Alberto doesn't have to wash his hands or risk making the refrigerator door all gross when he goes to get the vegetables.]

Edited 2022-10-01 00:39 (UTC)

[That's now several dings of the alarm bell going off and Katsuki abruptly stands up, chair legs dragging audibly on the floor.]

It's been in the fridge for a week??

[Danger. Holy shit. No wonder the food they cooked 'didn't sit right'. Realizing how close he came to eating what they're cooking right now sure is an experience.

He makes his way over to investigate. But he already knows if it's been sitting in the fridge for a week it's no good.]

Two days! That's the longest you should ever leave raw chicken sitting in the fridge! It grows bacteria fast!

[He steps up beside Alberto and reaches out to check. And sure enough, he finds what he expects, making a face. His tone is definitely gruff and annoyed but his temper is mostly in check because he's still kind of flabbergasted honestly... this is a serious situation.]

See how it feels a bit slimy? That means it's gone bad.

[ Alberto is kind of flabbergasted, himself...! He has no idea what Katsuki's making such a fuss about — primarily because he doesn't know what "bacteria" are. But far be it for Alberto to ask. He believes Katsuki's totally right about this, because he doesn't have full confidence in his chickening skills and never has, truth be told. So he's ready to accept this as fact; just not ready to explicitly acknowledge the fact that he was wrong. As such, he just stares at Katsuki silently, face flat, eventually glances at Luca searchingly, then animatedly slides away and tosses the chicken in the trash. rip. ]

...Oookay, then. So we won't have chicken.

[ That's a way too sassy and dismissive tone for someone who nearly just poisoned his friends. Still, learn something new every day; oh, well. Now they know. No comment to that effect, though, of course... He hands the cutting board off to Luca, not bothering to wipe off the chicken juices. ]

Luca, here. Can you slice up some tomatoes? And grab the mozzarella. We'll just do a caprese salad... ...instead of old slimy chicken...

[ A rueful glance at Katsuki; he's sort of joking about it already, but it's almost more discomforting that he is. He's not well-practiced at self-effacing humor, and while he finds it very funny on Bruno, it's not been landing all that well for him yet... He just goes about preparing the rest of the meal. At least he knows he's got boiling pasta down pat, no problems there. Except for the fact that he still doesn't bother to wash his hands — simply wipes them on a hand towel, and then again on his pants for good measure. Then starts touching things as he goes about setting out everything else they'll need... ]

Ohhh.

[Well, that explains that, except...]

But sometimes it doesn't sit right even when it's less than two days old.

[Mainly because using expired chicken is only the tip of the food safety iceberg with them. At Alberto's instruction he grabs the cutting board, putting it on the counter and grabbing the bag of tomatoes as well as the mozzarella, handing the cheese to Alberto before putting the tomatoes on the unwashed cutting board and starting to slice them up.]

[Katsuki has to take a deep breath and do his best not to scream. Because shit... there is so much going on here that needs addressing.]

Both of you just... stop for two seconds. Let me just... teach you some shit that'll keep people from getting sick eating your food.

[Where does he even start.]

Number one, you should always wash your hands before handling food.

[Which Katsuki is going to do now. Because he's about to get hands on in teaching here.]

Number two, cutting those vegetables on the same board you just used for the expired chicken without even washing it first means those vegetables are now contaminated.

[He knows from prior experiences with Alberto that correcting things... may not go well. But he's got to be firm about something like this.]

Ideally you want separate boards for meat and vegetables but if you only have one, you want to start with the vegetables, wash the board, and then do meat. Any questions before I keep going?

[ Alberto indeed stops when Katsuki tells them to stop for two seconds, standing stock still, leaving his arm frozen in the air reaching in the cabinet. When Katsuki scrubs in, though, Alberto can tell he means business, so he stands straight and at attention, arms at his sides like a solder. He stares at Katsuki with a blank look on his face the whole explanation, until glancing at Luca when Katsuki asks if they have questions. Far be it for Alberto to ask questions, though, of course... ]

[When Katsuki tells them to stop for two seconds, Luca freezes, turning to Katsuki to see what was wrong. Okay, so they need to wash their hands, he can do that...wait, putting the vegetables on the cutting board contaminates those, too? How much of their food are they going to go through with this without actually getting to eat any of it? Okay, so putting the vegetables on the same cutting board is probably bad because the chicken they put on it was spoiled, but it sounds like it would be a problem even if it wasn't spoiled. Why are there so many arbitrary rules?]

Okay...but why so much washing? And why does it matter if the vegetables are on the same cutting board when the meat isn't old?

Edited 2022-10-17 00:45 (UTC)

Cross-contamination. You don't want any juices from raw meat on other food. Raw meat can contain bacteria. It gets killed off from the heat of cooking it, as long as you cook it right. But you don't want that stuff on anything else. Like vegetables.

[He takes the cutting board to clear it and scrub it up.]

You wanna make sure you're washing anything that comes in contact with raw meat thoroughly. Cutting board, knives, your hands. It's that bacteria that's making food 'not sit right'.

[ Alberto narrows his eyes at Luca as they listen, a silent signal to say he hopes Luca's gonna remember all this. But for the third time "bacteria" has come up, and he cants his head at Katsuki, raising a brow. ]

You keep saying that word. Bacteri-what-now?

[ We're working from the ground up, here, Katsuki... ]

[Alberto's question is a very good one that Luca's wondering himself, but he has more questions than that.]

But all the fish I ate growing up were all raw and I never had an issue with that. We don't have any way to cook food in the ocean.

[If raw meat was so bad, why is it only so bad now?]

Hello And Welcome To Food Safety Lessons With Katsuki

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