kaisou | Bird, bird, bird

Bird, bird, bird

WHO: Moxxie, Hunter and Luz
WHERE: Moxxie's apartment
WHEN: During the week where they have to take care of baby birds
WHAT: Moxxie fails horribly at being an adult chaperone for Luz and Hunter while they take care of baby birds
WARNINGS: Terrible animal husbandry (the birds are fine)

So...this whole taking care of baby birds thing wasn't going as well as Moxxie had hoped. He'd seen the opportunities to do odd jobs for money and figured that was just what he needed to start getting some income he could live off of again. He'd been doing a great job taking care of his surprise cat, Blitz (who he's keeping in the bedroom for this week), so he figured some baby birds would be a piece of cake. Just feed them every two hours, keep the cat away, and other than that everything was fine.

He'd been so wrong.

Not only were they panicking whenever they saw him, one of the birds was apparently not a bird, and kept disappearing and shape shifting into different things around the apartment, and he's been having a hell of a time trying to catch it. Since the birds are too frightened to even try to eat, Moxxie decided to stay out of the way and focus on putting his excellent cooking skills to work and make some lasagna for the kids. It's now cooling on the stove, and he figures he'll go ahead and bring it in once it's ready for them to eat.

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Luz arrived at the apartment, knocking on the door. She'd beaten Hunter here by only a little bit, but she was armed to the teeth: worms, some material for nesting, some gloves in case the birds got a little pecky, and some water for all of them. This was all courtesy of Eda, and Luz was more than happy to do it.

She may not have been Zodiac's biggest fan, but she did love animals, so she was actually pretty excited about this. Owlbert was pretty psyched too: he was on her shoulder, pacing a little.

"Moxxie? It's Luz!"

Hunter hasn't brought any worms with him, but he does have a few books on bird behaviour in his hands, and Flapjack perched on his shoulder, and of course his usual heavy gloves. Reference material and a literal bird they can ask along with Owlbert has to be enough, right?

Flapjack gives a little cheep in greeting at Luz and Owlbert, and Hunter just shrugs his shoulders. "You look prepared."

It takes a little bit before the door opens, and they might hear a pair of tiny hoofs clop onto a step stool before the door opens.

"Hi! Glad to see you guys, this is going to be way easier with your help." Moxxie hops off the stool and leads them into the apartment. "I ran into a few issues, but other than that everything is going fine. Oh, by the way, one of the birds is actually a shapeshifting purple blob thing and I don't know where it went, so look out for that."

They will find that Moxxie's apartment is a cute, tiny little one bedroom home with music note wallpaper and lots of chairs and stools everywhere, placed in various locations that made it clear that that was how he'd been accessing all the counters and everything else that might be out of reach of someone who was suddenly only 2'5. The baby birds are on the table, cheeping away.

"Also, I found out that apparently the baby birds don't like me very much. But that's okay! I'm sure we can bribe them with something!"

"Sure am! My mom might not be here, but she'd be pretty disappointed in me if I just showed up with nothing to help these poor little bebes! Looks like you got prepared too!"

Owlbert hooted a greeting to Flapjack, though no sooner had the bird done that the door opened, revealing their host.

"Hiya Moxie! Aw, I can hear them already! Poor little guys!"

She was walking over, and then paused.

"Wait, what was that about a shapeshifting blob?"

Hunter will follow Moxxie and Luz into the apartment, looking around. Flapjack does as well cheeping a little, and abruptly stoppping at the mention of shapeshifting purple blob thing.

Okay, Hunter raises an eyebrow. That's weird. The place looks normal enough, at least?

Flapjack flutters on over to perch next to the baby birds, tilting his head and observing them curiously as Hunter reaches up to rub the bridge of his nose. "I'm not sure you can bribe birds. We should figure out which one's the shapeshifter first, and get rid of it."

"I'm not sure if the shapeshifter is still in there...it could be anywhere. Um...how many baby birds are in there right now?" Because that number would sometimes go up by one before dropping back down, and only sometimes would he spot it change and move somewhere else. "And when I said bribe them, I meant so they shut up."

He's not expecting them to be able to communicate which one isn't a real bird, but he's hoping food will shut them up.

"They're babies, of course they aren't going to shut up! No baby is quiet when it's scared and hungry!"

Really, it's like Moxie never heard of looking after pets before!

"Owlbert, Flapjack, come here, will you guys?"

Luz beckoned to the birds, who flew forward to Luz.

"I'm going to need you guys to, uh, do your thing. The babies can't have the wors as they are now, so...you know what to do."

"Now let's get them some water, and, uh, Hunter, think you can get them a blanket to they're all swaddled up and warm?"

Hunter moves to lean down in front of the baby birds, squinting at them and counting as Flapjack flies over to Luz. "There's four of them," he replies, glancing over at Moxxie, unsure of how many there are supposed to be.

"Alright," he says to Luz, straightening up. "Where are the blankets?"

"Yeah, I know it's just kind of frustrating when they freak out whenever they see me."

And it went far beyond just being hungry...though they certainly were scared of him. He didn't have this issue with cats. Of course, that's likely because possums don't prey on cats, and even if they see his true demon self, he's not much larger than a cat. Then he directs Hunter over to a hallway closet.

"I've got some spare blankets in there, and if there's four of them in there that means the purple blob thing is...somewhere. But it's not a baby bird. Right now."

"I understand. That would be pretty frustrating for anyone."

Not that Luz was having this problem, it seemed. First off, she let Flapjack and Owlbert do their thing so that the birds would have their food. Next, she made sure to kill the lights so there wasn't anything to freak the birds out too much.

After thinking a moment though, Luz shook her head.

"Actually, scratch the water. I just remembered Mami telling me that baby birds could drown that way. They'll get moisture from the protein they eat."

Hunter will go retrieve a blanket with Moxxie's help, returning with the fluffy thing in his arms. He raises an eyebrow at the both of them - Moxxie for losing track of the potentially dangerous blob, and Luz for not having any idea what she's doing.

"Maybe we should ask Flapjack and the owl what we should do. Take instructions from them. They're the birds, after all."

"Right. Okay, no water."

He's glad Luz remembered that, and didn't hold it against her that she didn't remember it initially. Then again, that might just be because she still seems to know mor than he does. Plus, they seem to have birds that they can, apparently, talk to, so maybe they can just leave it to them. Then, looking to Luz he notices she's getting near them without any trouble.

"How are you able to get that close without spooking them?"

Luz had thought water because she figured most animals needed it, but luckily remembered that babies couldn't have it, not right away. They had to get theirs from the protein they ate, which, in this case, was the worms.

Luz cast Hunter a dirty look. "I'm allowed to forget things, Hunter. Besides, Owlbert and Flapjack need our help too. Remember, these are earth baby birds, and our guys are Palisman birds. They've never been babies to begin with."

Luckily, they still DID know that babies needed their food pre-chewed, which was what they were working on right now.

"Oh, uh. Not sure. You've probably been pretty friendly with them, right?"

"They still have bird instincts," Hunter responds bluntly, before turning to Flapjack. "Well?"

Flapjack lets out a whole string of cheeps that sound no different than regular Earth bird noises that Hunter nods along to. Once Flapjack is finished, Hunter translates: "He's saying we should put them somewhere quiet and dark, and with a source of heat."

"Yeah. I try to be, anyway. I didn't get a chance to say or do anything before they started freaking out."

Then, to demonstrate, he jumped up on the chair so he could get up high enough to great him. He smiles, oblivious to the fact that his smile reveals sharp, pointed little teeth. "Hi there, little birds."

And of course the birds panic, crying out and trying to move away from him as well as their tiny little baby bird bodies can. His smile turns into a more nervous grin and he quickly hops off and out of their sight.

"See?"

Then Hunter has a conversation with one of the birds. He speaks bird? Well, Moxxie's seen crazier things since turning into an imp. When Hunter mentions somewhere quiet and dark, he comes up with an idea.

"Oh! There's a cabinet by my oven! I was just cooking some lasagna right before you got here, so it should still be pretty warm!"

He hurries over, his tiny hooves making a little ticking sound against the linoleum, since they were too small to create a proper clopping sound, as he led the way to the cabinet. Sure enough, there's a lasagna cooling on the stove. He opens the door to the cabinet and starts pulling out pots and pans to make room for the baby birds.

Welp. Clearly Luz did not know everything about birds, earth or otherwise. Of course they needed to be in a dark, warm place. Why hadn't she thought of that?

"Sorry guys," she said to Owlbert and Flapjack. "I'm the one that's got a lot to learn about you both. I promise I'll make it up to you!"

First thing was first.

"Um, Moxie," Luz said, very much noticing the sharp teeth and how that might seem to baby birds. "I think they see you as a threat. I'd say to try and be less intimidating, but..."

How exactly would Moxie seem less intimidating?

"...It might take a while. Now we can keep the in the cupboard for a little bit, but baby birds do need to get fed a few times a day. It's up to Flapjack and Owlbert if they're up to doing that until someone comes to take the birds, but if they're not able to, I think you can give them wet kibble. That way the babies get their protein and water."

She looked over at Hunter. "We should probably move them, together. They won't let Moxie do it. We need...let me think...gloves, and some of the nest with each bird we move. Moxie, you have to move the actual nest to the cupboard, then steer clear as we transfer them."

Luz was very much trying to remember what her mom told her about birds, though she knew it would be more ideal if wildlife experts arrived to take care of them properly.

Well, if anything they have all learned one very important lesson today: that Moxxie scares birds. With those teeth it isn't that surprising. Luz raises a good suggestion, and Hunter tries to be helpful too.

"Maybe smile less."

Super helpful, great advice right there. At least Moxxie's and Luz's plan sounds like a decent one, even if it's weird that Moxxie's attempt at feeding them with lasagna (whatever that is, Hunter thinks to himself) didn't pan out. He lifts his hands, already ready with his own gloves. He might not be in full uniform, but the gloves are familiar to him and he doesn't like going out without them.

"Fine. I'm ready when you are," he says to her, before glancing at Moxxie. "Is there going to be enough room in the cupboard for their nest?"

"Um...right."

Hunter's probably right about not smiling considering...well, his sharp little demon teeth. Although at this point it's probably best he avoid getting too close, though, since he suspect he'd stress them out even without him smiling.

"I don't have any kibble, but I have some cat food that's a pâté, would that work? Don't worry, the cat's shut in my room so he doesn't get the birds."

As for moving them...sounds like a plan.

"Yeah. It'll be tight, but the nest will fit. Luz, do you want to take the baby birds out and I'll move the nest?"

"It's not that you don't have a nice smile!" Luz was not trying to give poor Moxie the wrong impression. "It's just that your teeth are very sharp, and you're small, so the baby birds probably see you as a threat."

Did that work? She was trying not to be too mean about it.

"As long as it's high in protein, it'll work. That's what the babies need most."

And that way Flapjack and Owlbert wouldn't have to chew up everything.

"I'll need Hunter's help. We need to take a little bit of the nest so the babies can still recognize it, and then we'll move them bit by bit. And we need those gloves."

Moxxie isn't very big, but Hunter is pretty sure any reasonable creature would take one look at his teeth and think predator. He also isn't sure what exactly is in cat food pate, but if it's soft and edible for one animal it must be okay for another.

"Alright. It can't be that hard to handle them," he replies.

"Oh, right."

That's...probably a fair assessment. Judging by his flashbacks (and the fact that an imp is a type of demon), the baby birds likely aren't even wrong to think that imps are a predatory species.

"Right, while you guys are taking the birds out of the nest, I'll go get the cat food."

Which will also get in out of the baby birds' line of sight since the cat food's in a closet around the corner. Moxxie heads over, jumping on one of his stools to reach the closet door so he can retrieve the cat food, listening as he does so that when he returns he won't do so at an inopportune time.

Luz, meanwhile, was already locating and finding the plastic gloves she needed and handed Hunter his own pair. She gave Moxie a bit of a wave, then turned her attention to Hunter again.

"Ok. Get some of the nest bits first, then cup it into your other hand. Once you do that, gently scoop the baby in, so its being supported and it feels the familiar parts of the nest. But the sooner we get it back there, the better."

Luz was extra careful with hers, Owlbert circling around them to make sure it gets them right.

Hunter glances over at Flapjack to confirm what they're doing is the right procedure, and after he cheeps positively he scoops up some of the nest into his already-gloved hands. Then he carefully picks up one of the birds, being as gentle as he can, almost afraid he might hurt it.

Once he's sure, he raises his voice. "Do you have the cat food?"

Moxxie grabs one of the cans of cat food, heading over and staying just around the corner so the birds don't spot him while the kids are trying to carry them.

"I have the cat food," he says, sticking his hand out so they can see it. "Should I roll the can over to you so they don't see me?"

Luz is similarly being as gentle as she could be once she gloves up her hands and has some of the nest in her hands. She also makes sure to keep her voice down so she doesn't alarm the baby birds.

"That's fine," Luz said softly. "Thanks for your help, Moxxie. I'm sorry the birdies are a little hesitant with you right now. I know you're doing your best!"

Flapjack lands on Hunter's arm near the bird he's holding, cheeping softly at it. He'll make his way over to the cupboard to set the bird down in there.

"Maybe they'll get used to you," he says. "Birds in the Boiling Isles wouldn't bat an eye about how you look."

"Yeah, maybe," he says, rolling the can of cat food to them. Maybe the birds would get used to him, but right now that seems hard to imagine. "Let me know when the coast is clear to move the nest."

"You should do it now," Luz said. "We want them to be in the nest as quick as possible, so we can get the last two settled in again."

She did feel bad for Moxxie though. Of all the people who started getting back into manifestations of their "other" lives, his must have been the most daunting. She turned to Hunter as she slowly moved her bird to where it had to go.

"This is nice," she said. "We don't always have to be at each other's throats, you know. We both do want to go back to the isles."

Sure, this place might have been LIKE her Earth, but it was not only a different place, it was also missing one very clear figure for Luz.

Hunter will make sure to stay out of the way for Moxxie, so that he can move the nest without any intrusion. It's so strange for him to see the birds so afraid of what looks like a totally normal person to him.

"I know that," he replies, "I'm willing to work with anyone if it means being able to go home."

Even people like Varian. Ugh.

On Luz's word that he should go ahead and grab the next, Moxxie moves quickly, showing that he's surprisingly nimble for his small size. He runs, wanting to get this done as soon as possible, before quickly jumping up onto the chair, grabbing the nest and hopping down. As he races to the cabinet he nearly trips over all the pots and pans he'd pulled out before to make room for the nest, but he manages to get the nest into the cabinet without incident.

"And I'll just...get these out of your way."

Moxxie starts scooting the pots and pans over before grabbing some, hopping onto a step stool and starting to pile them onto the stove next to where the lasagna is cooling.

Luz was looking over at Moxie a moment while carefully handling the baby bird, then paused at Hunter's words.

"Right, I get that. But you know, it doesn't just have to be means to an end. I'm finding it hard not to want to be home soon too, but I don't mind the people here either, whether they're in the same boat we are, or have lived here a while."

She makes her way over to the cabinet with the new nest and gently nestles her baby bird back in its new location.

"You're doing great Moxie, thanks!"

Hunter just raises an eyebrow at her, confused at the assumption she's making. "It isn't. I have a friend here, and he understands how important getting home is for me."

He turns and will step over to the cabinet, setting his own bird down. Well, that's one thing down that wasn't a total disaster. Good for them!

Both birds were in the nest. It was one thing they did where everything went okay.

And, thanks to Moxxie, it was about to be the last thing they did that went okay. As he continues to stack the pans he'd previously pulled out of the cabinet onto the stove, he ends up misplacing a hoof, attempting to step down past the edge of the step stool he's on. He lets out a yell, flailing frantically and...grabs the lasagna.

Both the lasagna and Moxxie go tumbling to the ground, and the lasagna slams into the ground, bouncing once and sending the contents of the pan everywhere, including bits and pieces in the birds nest, where the baby birds enthusiastically gobble it up. Moxxie looks up to see where it all went and realizes...

"Oh, crumbs."

"I mean. Look. Sometimes there are people you might not understand at first, and you should give them a secon-ACK!"

Ok, so she really did think they were in the clear, and now there was lasagna everywhere!

"Augh! No! They can't have that yet! They'll choke!"

She looked at Hunter anxiously. "Help me get this away from them!"

Hunter's attention turns to Moxxie, sort of glad for the distraction from whatever spiel Luz is trying to give him that he already understands. There goes the lasagna, it isn't surprising that this is turning into a disaster. Hunter raises an eyebrow as Flapjack cheeps loudly, then he just scoops one of the baby birds up into his hands. The bird may not like it, but it's a lot easier to remove the bird than it is remove every drop of tomato sauce and pasta from the nest.

"I'll...uh...just call and ask what we should do if some of them got some lasagna..."

He slinks off, embarrassed and not wanting to make this worse by causing the birds to panic on top of everything. He just goes to find his phone and calls the Wildlife Center.

"So...um...how bad is it if the baby birds might have gotten a hold of some lasagna?"

Luz lifted two of the birds, making a frustrated sound. Boy, this was sure turning into a disaster now. She motioned for Hunter to hold the other ones.

"We need to make them a new nest now, at least until the Wildlife center can pick them up. Give me about two minutes, and I'll craft something up!"

Luz was already racing to find an empty box and a T-shirt and some different fabric to shred up and serve as the new nest. If the Wildlife people came soon that'd be a relief, but Luz knew that right now they had to keep the babies warm.

Hunter shrugs and takes hold of the birds. All of the birds. Just, all of them. He feels a little ridiculous like this, but Moxxie and Luz kind of need their hands now, so he's officially a perch for all of the babies until they're done.

Flapjack settles down next to the babies, snuggling in close to help out a little with some bodyheat while they wait. Honestly, it's kind of adorable and Hunter wishes he could get his phone and take a picture.

Maybe he'll just... do that later. Discreetly. When the birds are in their new nest.

Moxxie's words spark an immediate barrage of questions from the person on the other end of the line.

"I wasn't feeding it to them! It was an accident. I dropped it next to them."

Which actually just makes things worse, when the horrified volunteer talks about how he could have crushed them, and how he needs to be more careful. However, his attention drifts as he notices next to his record player, there's...another identical record player.

"What the--"

The strange purple blob creature. He goes over, poking the extra 'record player'...which immediately transforms into a purple blob creature.

"Ditto!"

And after that sudden exclamation from the purple creature, it races off towards the kitchen. Where the baby birds and children are. Not even listening to the person on the other line at this point, Moxxie chases after the ditto.

"Why you--get back here you sneaky little bastard before I kill you!"

Moxxie races into the other room, attempting to catch the purple ditto that's running away from him, finally pouncing...only to miss entirely and ending up face down near Hunter's feet. Spotting the return of the strange little predator, the baby birds start cheeping frantically while the ditto still runs amok. Then Moxxie hears the last words from the person on the other line. He cringes, and decides to tell the kids.

"So. Um. They just said they don't think the birds are safe in my care and that they'll be coming by..." he cringes, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Sorry guys, I think I messed this up for us?"

It was just one thing after another, wasn't it? Luz was frantically cutting up bits of fabric and paper and made sure to use the very lightest heat glyph and giving it the featheriest touchy so that the nest was fairly warm. This did take a little doing as Luz was not trying to start a fire, just keep the nest warm.

When that was accomplished, she looked up at the crumpled up Moxxie and a very confused looking Hunter. She shakes her head, then motions for him to gently put the birds back in the nest now.

"That's probably for the best," she said softly. "Birds that young need care around the clock, and by professionals. Maybe they'll find their mom, who knows? But at least you tried. I'll watch the birds now, if you guys wanna go and catch the ditto before the animal people show up."

She had a feeling that would go even worse if some strange creature suddenly popped up screeching while the baby bird were crying and scared.

For a few seconds Hunter thinks things might be improving, but then the noise in the other room starts up and suddenly a purple blob is bursting onto the scene. Moxxie is following closely, and for a split second Hunter thinks he's about to crash into him - he instinctively raises the birds in his hands up, inwardly cursing not having a hand free to grab Flapjack -

Aaaand Moxxie comes skidding to a stop at his feet. Crisis averted? Where did that blob go? Does it even matter, when he hears that they have officially failed the mission. Great, great, for someone like Hunter who bases his entire value on this kind of thing it's a huge blow. "Fantastic," he says frustratedly. "We should just watch the birds and try to not make things worse."

"Right. And I'll...uh... step out of the kitchen since I don't really know where the ditto went."

He's glad at least that Luz doesn't seem too bothered by this news, although he can tell Hunter is and he feels terrible about that. Especially since they'd actually been doing pretty well until Moxxie knocked over the lasagna, and from there he just made things worse. The kids would have done better if he'd never gotten involved.

Heading out of the kitchen so he wouldn't spook the birds anymore, Moxxie goes back to looking for anything that shouldn't be where it is, since for all he knows, anything could be the ditto.

To Luz, it wasn't about the "mission" as much as it was about the birds: they had to be kept safe. She knew it wasn't Moxxie's fault, he'd been doing his best, but the birds had honestly been too upset by his presence.

Add a strange purple blob to the mix and well. Recipe for disaster,

"Let's put them in the nest now, get them to calm down," Luz said softly. "We'll keep them warm and comfortable, and the authorities can handle the rest. For now, let's just keep our voice low so we don't startle them anymore."

She settled the nest down gently for Hunter to put the birds down.

"We tried," she said, quietly as she could. "Who knew there was going to be a mimicking monster joining us? That sounds like something straight out of the Boiling Isles."

Or a sitcom, really.
she

Hunter will set the birds back down in the next, trying to focus on that. Trying to focus on not making things worse, because with how the day is going that's probably going to happen.

Hopefully Moxxie will run into the blob or something, and grab it. That would help.

"If we were in the Boiling Isles we would've had caretakers from the Beast Keeping Coven dealing with these, instead a bunch of people who don't know what they're doing," he replies bluntly. "This is their specialty, not ours."

"Now where is that stupid purple blob?" he asks himself.

He continues to grumble as he looks through the apartment, knowing there's a good chance that it's hiding as something in the kitchen, but he won't be able to check that until the birds weren't there.

"I mean, we ARE going to have specialists coming to know how to deal with these birds better than us, but that's not what I meant. In my world, finding baby birds with no mom around would be bad enough, with all the care you have to take. But throw in a mimicking purple monster, and you pretty much have a day in the Boiling Isles!"

Luz gave a chuckle, still keeping her voice down.

"I really miss it though. Never thought I'd miss seeing a decaying skeleton in the distance, but it felt comforting. This place could use some of that."

Luz looked over at Moxxie and mouthed I believe in you! This had to be pretty frustrating for him most of all.

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Bird, bird, bird

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Actually had to look all this up, and now I know a bit more about baby birds

I had to look all this up too lol

If it wasn't for the fact that Moxxie's clueless about this, I'd have to look everything up, too

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