kaisou | VIDEO un: fastnloud, ACTION

WHO: Pascal Adalace and whoever
WHERE: Network post, then Void Denny's
WHEN: 07/03
WHAT: Finding a new app on her phone,
WARNINGS: Maybe some bad language in there somewhere

[ NETWORK ]

[ The video feed shows a bored-looking teenage girl sitting in a diner. Staring at the camera of her phone. ]

Can't help but notice this app downloaded itself onto my phone. Hard not to notice, right? Fine, you got in, hackers. But there ain't anything good on my phone, so can somebody tell me how to uninstall this thing?

And if the answer is "send us 100 SquidCoins" or something I'm just chucking the phone off a pier and getting a new one. I don't play stupid games for stupid prizes.

[ ACTION ]

[ Pascal waits for some replies to her cool and awesome post to the hacker's social media app. As she waits, the waitress finally brings her her food order, a giant burger loaded up with everything.

Which Pascal notices. With a sneer, ] Hey. hey! I said "no pickles," didn't I?

So why the hell are there pickles? [ Her expression is a little scary here. This waitress doesn't deserve this,,, ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rose is absolutely the sort of person who would harass wait staff. She might not yell, but she would be very precise with her words. She's also the kind of person who can't stand to see other people harass wait staff. In short, she is a hypocrite. A hypocrite who is trying to enjoy her meal.]

You know, you can take them off.

[ Pascal's expression immediately brightens as her focus shifts from the poor waitress- ]

Oh yeah, sure, absolutely, and the taste of pickles will have already permeated everything and it'll taste like vinegar and grossness. If that's your idea of a good- [ And that's when Pascal sees who she's talking to.

She stops.

She seems to be. Reconsidering many things.

Then, ] Is it convention season or something? Am I getting scolded by a furry?

I beg your pardon? I am not a furry. I am a Miqo'te.

[A proud race of felines, thank you very much! Not cat people. Never cat people.]

There's just two of them, isn't there? Surely they can't have that much vinegar.

Oh, I got some bad news for you.

Oh? And what's that, Mr. Hacker? SquidCoin crashed so now you're back to taking BlockBuster gift cards instead?

Dude, if I could hack I wouldn't be doing half the shit I do. But no, it's worse than that. D'you know about Zodiac?

Oh, yeah, sure. Dad says they're muscling in on our turf. [ Said with the utmost casualness. ]

[. . .]

Now when you say turf, do you mean the capitalist turf or the fucking with the spirit realm turf?

The crime one, mostly.

"Spirit Realm" though? That sounds like some cartoon shit.

[Ooh, crime. Wait, Zodiac is doing cri--

Of course they are. Moving on.]

Yeah, well, guess you're in a cartoon then.

[ Whether they actually crime or not, they'll at least be pushing the boundaries of what an organized crime family wants on their turf. Well, not that Pascal cares about the details, she just knows her dad complained. She honestly doesn't pay much attention to crime stuff.

She's more interested in being in a cartoon. ] What the heck is that supposed to mean?

It means Zodiac picked up a weird spiritual reading from you somehow and got this app on your phone because surprise, you are now involved in the magical bullshit of the world and no, there is no return policy.

Oh. Oh, I get it.

This is a cult thing. Zodiac's a cult.

I mean, probably but that's not related to this. Want proof?

You got proof? Yeah, sure, I'm down. Show me your photoshop skillz.

Dude, this is video. I can't photoshop shit.

[But he takes his phone outside, where Julian is just chilling in a tree. August whistles to call him down and Julian lands on the grass in front of him.]

Behold: a raven. Looks fairly normal, if you ignore the faint purple glow to his eyes. Now...

[Another whistle.

Julian caws and grows to the size of a horse as August is filming.]

Well I'm convinced of something. I'm not sure what, but I'm convinced.

Just as long as you're ready to believe that there is some whacky bullshit going on here.

[A small imp creature comes on screen.]

Unfortunately, they're not going to give you any demands. You just can't get this app off your phone. Even more unfortunately, it seems like after this app downloads on people's phones, weird stuff starts happening to us. Like, in my case, waking up like this.

But don't worry. It seems that most of the people who get this app aren't quite as unlucky as me.

Are you a vtuber?

Um...no?

Why would you think I was a vtuber?

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