Claude von Riegan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goldenherd) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kaisou2022-07-02 09:41 pm
goldenherd) wrote in kaisou2022-07-02 09:41 pm
Entry tags:
[001] 'Cause you won't rewrite history to commemorate the likes of me
WHO: Claude von Riegan
WHERE: The no-good very bad arrival labyrinth, a random side-street
WHEN: July 2nd, or like, whenever really
WHAT: Claude aggressively masks his way through a nervous breakdown
WARNINGS: Violence, discussion of character death and feelings of guilt/trauma surrounding that, racism/xenophobia, jaywalking
1. The Labyrinth
WHERE: The no-good very bad arrival labyrinth, a random side-street
WHEN: July 2nd, or like, whenever really
WHAT: Claude aggressively masks his way through a nervous breakdown
WARNINGS: Violence, discussion of character death and feelings of guilt/trauma surrounding that, racism/xenophobia, jaywalking
1. The Labyrinth
- Claude's not really expecting to wake up. He's not a religious man, and even if he were, the faith he grew up with had a lot more to say about returning peacefully to the land than any notions of a conscious, waking afterlife like some sects of the Church of Seiros seemed to believe. And he is dead, he's sure of it. The last thing he remembers is kneeling next to his mortally injured wyvern while Teach stood over him with the Sword of the Creator in hand, raised up like an executioner's axe. That's not the kind of thing a person walks away from.
He shudders, lying in the grass and admittedly a little scared to open his eyes. Raising a shaking hand, he presses it to his shoulder and finds it uninjured, despite distinctly remembering one of Bernadetta's arrows finding its mark there. Huh. Come to think of it, he isn't in any pain at all right now - aside from the fact that he seems to be lying on top of his quiver, which is really more uncomfortable than actually painful. Sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth, he sits up and, bracing himself, opens his eyes to see... a castle?
No, not just any castle. A monastery. Garreg Mach Monastery, in full bloom of spring, as it had been when he'd first set foot there some six years ago. The patch of grass he's found himself in is the lawn outside the classrooms, still decorated with the livery of the Kingdom, the Empire, and the Alliance. He frowns. Hadn't Edelgard started using this place as a base of operations? Had they simply knocked him unconscious and brought him here to be healed, for some reason? He guesses they could be assuming he had some valuable information to give them, on what might be left of the Alliance's resistance, or... elsewhere, but why dump him outside, with no supervision in sight? And, more confusingly, why leave Failnaught lying right next to him?
Frowning, he picks up the heavy, intricate bow, expecting it to judder unsettlingly to life in his hands, but it doesn't. There's none of the lightness and thrum of energy he's accustomed to feeling when he touches it, no subtle red glow or flexing of its spines. He's only just starting to contemplate why that is when he sees a flash of bright pink hair out of the corner of his eye, disappearing into the old Golden Deer classroom.
"Hilda?" He calls out without thinking about it. But no, that can't be her. He saw her fall, helpless to do anything from up in the sky on wyvernback. Whoever it is, though, is the only person he's seen so far, so he gets to his feet and follows after, only to find -
All of them. They're all here. Lorenz, Leonie, Raphael, Ignatz, Marianne, Hilda, Lysithea, standing with their backs to the door but unmistakably themselves. Claude swallows hard, trying to keep a level head. This could be some kind of trick. It has to be. Half of them are dead, and the others are scattered to the winds. There's no reason for them all to be here.
He wants to say something witty. Greet them like it's nothing, like he isn't tearing himself apart wanting it to be real but not trusting it to be. Lorenz speaks, though, before he can come up with anything.
"Disgraceful," he says, still facing away. "I knew you were unfit to lead all along, but this? It's utterly shameful."
Oh. Well. That's to be expected. Claude swallows hard. "Yeah? But tell me how you really feel, Lorenz," he says, but there's no bite to it, no playfulness. Just exhaustion.
"This is no time for jokes, Claude," says Ignatz, reproachful and sad. "If that's even your real name?"
"You lied to us," Lysithea adds before he can cut in, scornfully. "You've been lying to all of us since the day we met."
"We would've followed you anywhere." Raphael's broad shoulders sag, but neither he nor any of the rest of them look at him, all facing the front of the class. "Some of us followed you to the end. And you lied about everything."
"You guys, I -" Claude chokes, unsure of what to say. A part of him knows by now that this isn't real - can't be real, but it's not enough to keep him from feeling every accusation like a knife to the heart. Especially not when Hilda speaks up, her voice colder than he's ever heard it before.
"If I'd known you were one of them -" and the word drips with a visceral disgust as she says it. Them. Lower than the lowest of vermin. "I would've never listened to you." The others murmur their assent, some more hesitant than others but all in agreement.
"You shouldn't have listened to me," Claude admits, quietly. "Maybe you would've lived, if you hadn't. I'm sorry." It feels hollow, saying that. But it's all he can offer.
- By the time he makes it out of the labyrinth, night has fallen over the city, making it that much more overwhelming to step into suddenly. Claude has never seen this much glass in his life, much less buildings this tall or lights so bright, and he gawks up at the glittering windows against the black sky while trying to make sense of it all. Thankfully the street he's on is a fairly quiet one, because in the process of trying to estimate how tall some of these buildings are he wanders off the sidewalk and into the street.
"What is this place?" he asks himself, squinting up at a distant point of light like a very slow, blinking shooting star as it crosses the sky. He's just craning his neck to watch it as it disappears behind a building when something very fast, very shiny, and very large zips past him, swerving to avoid hitting him and making a loud, terrible noise as it does so. A man leans out the window on the left side and shouts at him.
"Watch where you're going!"
"It's everybody's road!" Claude shouts back, though by then the thing's already disappeared around the corner. He sighs, shaking his head, and wanders over to a nearby stoop, sitting down on the steps and pulling the little glass rectangle and accompanying booklet that he found out of his pocket, propping Failnaught up on the wall next to him. Might as well try to figure this thing out while he's got nothing else to do. The booklet says that to activate the thing - a "phone," apparently, you just have to press your thumb to the surface. Which he does, to... absolutely no effect.
"Huh," he says, brows furrowing slightly.
(It doesn't occur to him yet that his thick leather gloves might be getting in the way.)
no subject
Get in line. There's several billion people in this world that'd be very interested in talking to the gods.
[Sure, he knows how to get in contact with Zagreus. But it was clear that guy was pretty sheltered god, never having stepped out of the Underworld before now. It'd be unfair to dump whatever religious hang-ups this guy has on him. ]
Gods come and go as they please. You can only find them if they want to be found. But they do exist.
With that said ... Whether you choose to put your faith in one and offer them worship, or just see them as powerful beings? That's your own choice.
no subject
[ Still, all of this does mean he's going to have to look into what religious organizations exist in this world and see how likely he is to upset someone by crossing them. Not that he was ever all that subtle about his distaste for the church back in Fódlan, but he knew when and where it was absolutely necessary to shut up about it. Here he's playing the same game, but with a whole new set of rules to learn before he goes about seeing how much he can break them without getting in trouble. ]
no subject
No, the prayers matter. They wouldn't be part of every religion if they didn't.
But you should only offer them if it's to a god you're truly willing to put your faith in. Not because the church dictates you should, or because you want something out of them. But because you see the god as someone you can accept into your heart, no matter the consequences.
[At least, that was his personal view of it. Maybe it didn't line up exactly with what some Christian churches like to preach but, well - some Christian churches would take real issue that God gave power to a gay asian kid so those guys can suck it. ]
And if you never find a god worth your faith and prayer? That's fine. The path of the faithful isn't for everyone. Lots of people in this world lead fulfilling lives without uttering a single prayer.
no subject
Really, now? Well, it sounds like you'd know better than me.
[ It's not at all dismissive, the way he says it. If anything, he's curious. By the sound of it this man has some familiarity with gods that goes beyond faith alone. ]
I appreciate the understanding on that front, though - it means more to me than you know. I'm Claude, by the way. It's nice to meet you.
no subject
So he won't try to cover it up...instead answering honestly, somewhat]
...It's just my own thoughts on the matter. I've considered a lot the difference between faith and doctrine.
[It happens when you spend a lot of your childhood in what boiled down as a cult. You spend a lot of time thinking about this kind of stuff as you try to navigate your own beliefs. ]
You too. You can call me what you wish.
[What did you really expect the guy wearing a hood and voice modifier to give a name?]
no subject
[ Which, again, could've been a dangerous thing to say to the wrong people back in Fodlan, but it's literally a whole new world here, and Claude's not getting any warning signs from this guy just yet - albeit masked and disguised as he is, he'll admit it could be easier to miss that sort of thing. Still. ]
You sure about that, though? You might want to tread carefully. You've got no idea what kind of moniker I might saddle you with, given free reign.
[ He winks, insufferable as ever. ]
no subject
[Jun certainly didn't disagree. He's seen the kind of hypocrisy religion can bring when people don't think critically.
But at that warning, Jun will just snort. Katsuki already calls him "furby" so...whatever]
Do your worst.
no subject
[ get it it's because. it's because he doesn't talk much. ]
Anyway, how did we get on this subject, again?
[ It's a bit of a tangent they've managed to go on, and Claude goes quiet for a second as he backtracks through the path the conversation took. ]
Oh, right, I was asking about what is and isn't supernatural. Honestly, it still seems a little arbitrary to me, but I'm sure I'll start to pick up a sense for it as time goes on. Worst case scenario I make a few people think I'm a little eccentric because I'm seeing things they don't, probably.
no subject
But he gives a little nod as Claude backtracks]
You're wearing clothes outdated by a few centuries, so you're going to seem eccentric no matter what.
[So in other words, embrace it! There's no fighting it you're gonna come across as a weirdo, says the guy dressed up in a shrouded outfit and hanging out on rooftops at night]
no subject
To be fair, I don't intend to keep on dressing like this indefinitely, as much as I love being stared at. It's just that going clothes shopping to fit in better is a little low on the priority list right now.
no subject
Fair enough.
[...Yes that's all he's going to respond with. He can get buying new clothes is not the highest of priorities on this guy's list ok.]
no subject
Speaking of priorities - I've got another question for you, if you don't mind. I've talked to a few other people, and it seems like my best bet for finding a place to stay at least for tonight is through Zodiac. What's your take on them, though? Some of the others seem sort of suspicious of their motives.
no subject
The question gets a shrug out of him, as someone more ambivalent.]
Zodiac are businessmen. At the end of the day, their goal is to profit. I don't trust them fully, but they have their uses and there are worse groups connected to the supernatural.
no subject
[ The types where it pays to know how to talk to and haggle with them, and possibly where it could be a little hazardous to get too deeply indebted to them. He'll watch his back. ]
Are there, though? What sorts of other groups are there, out there?
no subject
All kinds. Some aim to study the supernatural, some to protect people, and others to exploit it for their own ends. And then it's just a question what they're willing to exploit. Zodiac is interested in resources, but others...
Well, if this side of things doesn't exist for most people, then the law can't do much to regulate it. Throw a body into the spirit realm, no one will ever find it, for instance. You can imagine what kind of groups might crop up.
no subject
[ He winks again, grinning. ]
In all seriousness, though, that's good to know. About what I would've expected - I mean, that's about how people treat just about every resource, isn't it? Using it for their benefit, whether that looks like profit or glory or the betterment of society. Just with the fun added twist of this weird secrecy that's going on here.
no subject
I see. And is that how you treat resources as well?
no subject
There's a couple of answers I could give to that. 'It depends on the resource' is one. 'Yes, but I like to think I'm one of the betterment of society ones' is another. I could go on, but the important part is I'm not the kind of person who can see something that could help me or help others and let it pass me by without at least thinking of how to leverage it. [ He shrugs, unapologetic. ] Not that I'm the type to mindlessly exploit the people and things around me either, though. Just about everything, from people, to hunting grounds, to the money in your coinpurse sticks around longer and works better if you treat it with respect and gratitude, I know that.
no subject
Jun is quiet for a moment, listening to how Claude answers. It does give him some insight on Claude, as well as the rest of this conversation. He prided himself on his intelligence, being clever and well spoken. And he also doesn't seem to be a bad man. Or at least, from Claude's perception he wasn't a bad man. He certainly knew that he had to treat others with respect, and wants to better society - whatever that means. All of these traits were good ones, in his favor. He imagines back in his world, from the way he spoke, he was a noble with potential.
On the other hand...he was a self-admitted opportunist. If he saw a resource that could benefit him, he came at it with an an angle of how he could use it for leverage first and foremost. It's a necessary skill in Claude's station, he's sure. A lack of ambition can be deadly in some places.
But when you're someone with a power that men have fought wars to try to obtain, when you're a boy who lost his childhood due to opportunist men Claude had just lightly joked about understanding ... what Claude says comes more as a warning. ]
I see. Thank you for your answer.
[He looks directly at Claude as he says it, eve if his face is still shrouded. Then without another word, he lifts his hand with two fingers extended and teleports away.
He would not be his asset. ]
no subject
Still, it does sting a little, and he allows himself a subtle sigh before shaking it off. ]
All right, good talk.
[ And with that, he'll take his leave as well. ]