[001] 'Cause you won't rewrite history to commemorate the likes of me

[goldenherd]

WHO: Claude von Riegan
WHERE: The no-good very bad arrival labyrinth, a random side-street
WHEN: July 2nd, or like, whenever really
WHAT: Claude aggressively masks his way through a nervous breakdown
WARNINGS: Violence, discussion of character death and feelings of guilt/trauma surrounding that, racism/xenophobia, jaywalking

1. The Labyrinth

Claude's not really expecting to wake up. He's not a religious man, and even if he were, the faith he grew up with had a lot more to say about returning peacefully to the land than any notions of a conscious, waking afterlife like some sects of the Church of Seiros seemed to believe. And he is dead, he's sure of it. The last thing he remembers is kneeling next to his mortally injured wyvern while Teach stood over him with the Sword of the Creator in hand, raised up like an executioner's axe. That's not the kind of thing a person walks away from.

He shudders, lying in the grass and admittedly a little scared to open his eyes. Raising a shaking hand, he presses it to his shoulder and finds it uninjured, despite distinctly remembering one of Bernadetta's arrows finding its mark there. Huh. Come to think of it, he isn't in any pain at all right now - aside from the fact that he seems to be lying on top of his quiver, which is really more uncomfortable than actually painful. Sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth, he sits up and, bracing himself, opens his eyes to see... a castle?

No, not just any castle. A monastery. Garreg Mach Monastery, in full bloom of spring, as it had been when he'd first set foot there some six years ago. The patch of grass he's found himself in is the lawn outside the classrooms, still decorated with the livery of the Kingdom, the Empire, and the Alliance. He frowns. Hadn't Edelgard started using this place as a base of operations? Had they simply knocked him unconscious and brought him here to be healed, for some reason? He guesses they could be assuming he had some valuable information to give them, on what might be left of the Alliance's resistance, or... elsewhere, but why dump him outside, with no supervision in sight? And, more confusingly, why leave Failnaught lying right next to him?

Frowning, he picks up the heavy, intricate bow, expecting it to judder unsettlingly to life in his hands, but it doesn't. There's none of the lightness and thrum of energy he's accustomed to feeling when he touches it, no subtle red glow or flexing of its spines. He's only just starting to contemplate why that is when he sees a flash of bright pink hair out of the corner of his eye, disappearing into the old Golden Deer classroom.

"Hilda?" He calls out without thinking about it. But no, that can't be her. He saw her fall, helpless to do anything from up in the sky on wyvernback. Whoever it is, though, is the only person he's seen so far, so he gets to his feet and follows after, only to find -

All of them. They're all here. Lorenz, Leonie, Raphael, Ignatz, Marianne, Hilda, Lysithea, standing with their backs to the door but unmistakably themselves. Claude swallows hard, trying to keep a level head. This could be some kind of trick. It has to be. Half of them are dead, and the others are scattered to the winds. There's no reason for them all to be here.

He wants to say something witty. Greet them like it's nothing, like he isn't tearing himself apart wanting it to be real but not trusting it to be. Lorenz speaks, though, before he can come up with anything.

"Disgraceful," he says, still facing away. "I knew you were unfit to lead all along, but this? It's utterly shameful."

Oh. Well. That's to be expected. Claude swallows hard. "Yeah? But tell me how you really feel, Lorenz," he says, but there's no bite to it, no playfulness. Just exhaustion.

"This is no time for jokes, Claude," says Ignatz, reproachful and sad. "If that's even your real name?"

"You lied to us," Lysithea adds before he can cut in, scornfully. "You've been lying to all of us since the day we met."

"We would've followed you anywhere." Raphael's broad shoulders sag, but neither he nor any of the rest of them look at him, all facing the front of the class. "Some of us followed you to the end. And you lied about everything."

"You guys, I -" Claude chokes, unsure of what to say. A part of him knows by now that this isn't real - can't be real, but it's not enough to keep him from feeling every accusation like a knife to the heart. Especially not when Hilda speaks up, her voice colder than he's ever heard it before.

"If I'd known you were one of them -" and the word drips with a visceral disgust as she says it. Them. Lower than the lowest of vermin. "I would've never listened to you." The others murmur their assent, some more hesitant than others but all in agreement.

"You shouldn't have listened to me," Claude admits, quietly. "Maybe you would've lived, if you hadn't. I'm sorry." It feels hollow, saying that. But it's all he can offer.

2. A Random Street

By the time he makes it out of the labyrinth, night has fallen over the city, making it that much more overwhelming to step into suddenly. Claude has never seen this much glass in his life, much less buildings this tall or lights so bright, and he gawks up at the glittering windows against the black sky while trying to make sense of it all. Thankfully the street he's on is a fairly quiet one, because in the process of trying to estimate how tall some of these buildings are he wanders off the sidewalk and into the street.

"What is this place?" he asks himself, squinting up at a distant point of light like a very slow, blinking shooting star as it crosses the sky. He's just craning his neck to watch it as it disappears behind a building when something very fast, very shiny, and very large zips past him, swerving to avoid hitting him and making a loud, terrible noise as it does so. A man leans out the window on the left side and shouts at him.

"Watch where you're going!"

"It's everybody's road!" Claude shouts back, though by then the thing's already disappeared around the corner. He sighs, shaking his head, and wanders over to a nearby stoop, sitting down on the steps and pulling the little glass rectangle and accompanying booklet that he found out of his pocket, propping Failnaught up on the wall next to him. Might as well try to figure this thing out while he's got nothing else to do. The booklet says that to activate the thing - a "phone," apparently, you just have to press your thumb to the surface. Which he does, to... absolutely no effect.

"Huh," he says, brows furrowing slightly.

(It doesn't occur to him yet that his thick leather gloves might be getting in the way.)

Comments

[bxbxbxbx]

... Right. [Unsure of how to respond to all of that, or if she really should at all, Katida simply continues to lead the way when she's prompted to keep moving. She does so at a somewhat-quicker pace than before, having figured that the sooner they get out of here, the better.

She kind of does want to start asking questions—she can admit that much to herself—but that can wait until sometime later, if she can bring herself to actually ask at all.

After what feels like an hour but is really just several minutes instead, and after a few more turns here and there, she speaks up to let him know:] We're pretty close to where I came in here from, it shouldn't be too much longer.

[goldenherd]

[ In a way it's sort of comforting to just completely ignore what just happened. Claude's not sure he could take the sympathy right now. ]

Right. Thanks again for the assist. Who knows how long I'd have spent wandering around here if you hadn't found me.

[ And with no explanation of what was going on, too. That would've probably been the worst part. Again, Claude's not really a believer in the concept of the sinful dead waking again to experience torment once they shuffle off the mortal coil, but being trapped in a warped version of his old school and being berated by the people he cares about might've made him rethink that. ]

So, you said you've never really been in a place like this before. What made you come today, if I may ask?

[bxbxbxbx]

Curiosity, mostly. [She answers without much delay.] A lot of this stuff is still pretty new to me, and I figured it would probably be easier to just go and start seeing things for myself instead of asking someone else about it.

[She hadn't known what to expect, but she knew that she hadn't expected to stumble across anything that would remind her of the girl in her memories; there are a few things she'll have to try to think about later.]

[goldenherd]

[ Claude nods along in understanding. ]

If I'd heard about strange magical mazes that lead into my city from other worlds, I'd probably have wound up checking them out sooner or later, too.

[ Sooner, probably. He could barely resist the secret passages of Garreg Mach, and they were perfectly normal, non-dimension-spanning pathways. From the sound of it, Kat managed to hold out longer than he would've before investigating, but that's pretty understandable. ]

And it's good to see things with your own eyes, if you can. Especially if Zodiac's as unhelpful as they sound. Though, as an aside, do you have any idea just how many people like us there are in the city? Either wandering in from other worlds or... [ He gestures to the thing on her head. ]

[bxbxbxbx]

[She thinks about how many unique users she's seen on Libra; she may not be especially-active on the network, but she does lurk a bit.] Pretty close to one hundred, I think, though I'm not sure how many of them are people that were already here and had stuff start happening, or how many ended up here from other places. [She could check to see how many people are in that group chat she'd been dragged into in order to get some idea, but she doesn't do that right now.]

[goldenherd]

Still, that's a pretty good number. Not a lot, in terms of the population of a whole city, but in most other senses?

[ He shakes his head, frowning thoughtfully. ]

How well do the people who just get dropped in the city from these places get by, anyway? I don't have anything but the clothes on my back and Failnaught here [ he hefts his bow for emphasis. He also has a small vial of cyanide sewn into a hidden pocket in his jacket, but let's not talk about that right now. ] And if everyone else who shows up here arrives under similar conditions I imagine finding a good place to stay could be pretty rough. Do most people seem to be managing all right?

[bxbxbxbx]

I'm not sure how well it's really working out since I don't talk to people too often, but one of the things Zodiac is doing is making sure people from other worlds have a place to stay if they want it, until they're settled in enough that they can make arrangements to stay someplace else.

[goldenherd]

Well, that's good of them to do, at least. I imagine there's probably some kind of catch, because when isn't there with mysterious supposedly-benevolent organizations? But it's something.

[ Maybe he'll see about alternatives when they get to the city proper, but that's getting ahead of himself a little bit. They still have to get there, and unfortunately by the looks of things there's going to be at least one more obstacle in their path.

A tall, broad-shouldered man wearing a dark green and yellow silk robe and his hair pulled into an elaborate crown of braids supporting a golden headpiece stands in the middle of the hallway, hands clasped behind his back. He, too, faces away from them. Claude actually stops and backs up a few steps at the sight of him, and lowers his voice to a near-whisper. ]

Oh, yeah, I don't want to hear this one. You think there's another way around?

[bxbxbxbx]

[Judging by Claude's reaction to the sight of him, Kat doesn't think she'd want to hear whatever the man has to say, either. In an equally-quiet tone, she responds:] I don't know, but we can try to look for one.

[goldenherd]

[ Nodding, Claude slips back around the corner and considers their options. There's a few doors branching out of the hallway, as well as sets of stairs leading up and down. He frowns, thinking it over. ]

Sorry. I don't want to get us lost, but being berated by some weird echoes of my friends and family isn't exactly my idea of a good time.

[ He could easily shrug it off if he were alone, knowing these things aren't really them, he thinks, but who knows what they'd reveal about him to Kat? Then again, maybe if this really is another world like she says, she wouldn't necessarily have the context to care about any of it, but the habit of guarding his secrets so preciously dies hard. He sighs. ]

If we can't find a different route or if you'd just rather get home sooner than later, I can deal with it, though. The choice is yours.

[bxbxbxbx]

[It doesn't take long for her to come to a decision.] Let's try looking. [If they can't find another way, maybe they'll be lucky enough for the man to be gone when they come back here.

Any direction is likely as good as any other direction, though she does think it would be best to remain on the same floor for now. However, judging by one of the things he said earlier, this particular labyrinth seems at least partially based on a place that Claude is familiar with, so if they're going to continue wandering this place for awhile looking for a different way out, then maybe he should be the one to lead the way, what with his likely having a better idea of what goes where or what to expect.]

Which way do you think we should go first?

[goldenherd]

That's a good question, [ says Claude, frowning. He glances up and down the hall, trying to get his bearings and completely failing. It's an odd sensation. Usually his sense of direction is pretty keen, but there's something that's just kind of wrong with this place. Even if it weren't for it looking like Garreg Mach, but laid out all wrong, sometimes he gets the sense that they're going in circles despite walking in a straight line.

Maybe it's just him, though. ]

Normally, we'd have already reached the town surrounding the monastery by now, with how long we've walked. So I think it's safe to say this place isn't quite how I remember it. But let's keep heading in what would be the direction of the front gate, since we were already going that way anyway. Might as well pick a heading and stick to it, right?

[ He smiles, despite his unease, and sets off down one of the halls that leads in roughly the right direction. ]

[bxbxbxbx]

[Though there's no guarantee that it will be the correct choice here, heading toward what would be an exit in the real, non-labyrinthine version of the monastery makes enough sense.] Might as well.

[Once Claude sets off, Kat follows, taking a quick look at the watch on her left wrist while his eyes are on the path before them, to see what time it has now, in order to figure out how long it's been since she first came in here. It feels like it's been forever already.

She's relatively silent for awhile as they go, but eventually, her curiosity catches up with her.] What was the real version of this place like? [She quickly realizes, based on what little she first overheard and then what they encountered after they started to walk together, that that's a question that he might not want to answer, so she adds:] If you're okay with talking about it.

[goldenherd]

Oh, I don't mind. [ says Claude, keeping his eyes out for any sign that they're making progress or for any other shades of his friends and family come to be upset with him. So far, neither are making an appearance. ] This is Garreg Mach Monastery. It's the heart of the Church of Seiros, though I'm guessing that might not mean much to you.

[ If the Church of all things transcends the boundaries between worlds, he'll eat his hat. ]

I spent about a year here attending the Officer's Academy that's hosted on the grounds. Those people you overheard back there when we first bumped into each other were my classmates - and in their defense, they're usually a lot friendlier than all of that. You know, at least as far as I'm aware.

[ He says it like it's a joke, and it mostly is one. He's pretty sure he's canny enough to have picked up on it if any of the Golden Deer had taken to talking about him like that behind his back. But, well. There's always that edge of doubt, isn't there? ]

[bxbxbxbx]

I haven't heard of either of those, so, no, it doesn't.

[Kat considers asking about the academy, though taking some things into consideration, it's not terribly difficult to assume it to be something somewhere along the lines of a military academy. Then Claude mentions her having overheard things, and that particular thought gets away from her for the moment as she then decides that it'll be in her best interest to let him know,] I didn't hear much of that, only what was said by whoever it was that spoke before you noticed me. [What she did hear, those words from Hilda, had been enough to remind her of the way the girl in her memories was treated by most people, and that was enough to make her not want to pry.

She sighs.]

Even if it was only a little bit, I should still apologize for it, so... Sorry. I hadn't intended to hear anything at all.

[goldenherd]

Don't worry about it, [ he says, waving a hand easily. ] I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled about anyone seeing any of this, but it's not like you came here specifically to snoop around, so I think I can find it in me to forgive you.

[ He winks. It helps a lot that she doesn't exactly seem interested nor in a position to use any of this against him.

Now, they've been walking in a straight line more or less this entire time, which makes it really interesting when Claude starts to recognize the hallway they're walking down, up to the corner they're about to turn. Frowning, he slows his pace, peering around it and groaning. Sure enough, the man in the crown is there again. ]

All right. Looks like this one's inevitable. You mind waiting here while I go see what he has to say?

[bxbxbxbx]

[When he begins to slow down, she slows down too, and when he stops to check around the corner they've come to, she stops as well. The dragon head on her head finally starts glancing around a little bit instead of simply staring into the distance, as if it's suddenly decided it's curious about its surroundings.

Kat doesn't want to hear more than she absolutely has to right now, so when Claude asks her to hang back for a moment, she answers easily, like she doesn't even need to think about it.] Sure, I can wait.

[goldenherd]

Thanks. [ Claude gives her a thumbs-up, nodding before taking a deep breath and ducking around the corner. For a moment he considers whether it's going to be possible to just... walk on by, but that would mean leaving Kat behind and also the man addresses him before he even gets close. ]

What, Khalid? Not even a word for me, after all this time?

[ Claude grimaces, but doesn't say a thing. This isn't really him, and Claude's not going to give up anything that he doesn't have to. Kat's probably not trying to listen in, but the man's voice has a booming quality that fills the hall with his presence, and anyway who knows who else might be around to overhear? ]

It is no matter. If you do not wish to speak, then I will. [ He heaves a great and heavy sigh. ] I am... disappointed in you, and myself. I thought your confidence that you could do all you promised was measured and earned, but it appears this was not so. I should never have let you go so far from home, for a flight of fancy such as this.

[ As with the rest, the man never turns to look at Claude, but his broad shoulders droop a fraction of an inch from their rigid, regal posture, and somehow even that small gesture makes him look immeasurably tired. ]

Goodbye, my son. I am sorry.

[ And with that, he turns and exits through the nearest archway. Claude closes his eyes, fists clenched at his sides, and swallows hard. Counts to three. Opens his eyes again and glances back the way he came. ]

It's over with! You can come out now.

[bxbxbxbx]

[It takes a few seconds, but Kat does step out from where she was waiting when called. It's not immediately clear if she had overheard any of that. Whether she did overhear or not, they both know that this labyrinth seems to be pretty set on tormenting Claude with these visions of people that he knew, so the question she asks a few moments after she catches up to him might not come as any sort of surprise:]

You gonna be okay?

[goldenherd]

Oh, sure, [ says Claude, waving off her concern with much more ease than he actually feels. His smile returns - very fake, but the thoroughly practiced sort of fake that's difficult for most people to pick out - as he tells himself that he's endured verbal abuse much worse than this in the past.

(Just... Not from something wearing his father's face, claiming concern for him that may well have been rightful, considering how he ended up. But it's fine. Everything's fine.) ]

This is all just some weird nightmare scenario, anyway. Honestly, if any of these people were actually here I'd be glad to see them, even if they weren't glad to see me. But since they're some kind of figments of my imagination or something, I can at least rest secure in my certainty that the real versions of them all actually adore me.

[ He winks, grinning. ]