un: coffeelvr4ever

[robopriest]

WHO: Hansa Cervantes
WHERE: at the church
WHEN: after death soccer
WHAT: Sometimes a guy slowly becomes a robot(?)
WARNINGS: Hansa being Hansa (none)

Hey.

[Here's a video of everyone's favorite terrible troll priest. He's smiling at the camera.]

We've all sure been through a lot of nonsense these past few weeks. Does anyone need a hand after...all of that? No, really.

[And he reaches over to his arm, twisting his wrist....and off comes his arm with a loud clunk. He slides it out of his sleeve, putting it on the table. It's completely metallic, though the hand covered in something like flesh-colored latex to give it the appearance of a human hand. Hansa lets out a huff.]

Or...does anyone need a leg?

[Sure enough, he's reaching down to his right leg to twist it...and it comes off too. He won't even slide it off, just lets it hang there. His voice is dripping with sarcasm.]

You know, waking up to impromptu robotic limbs sure is nice. I thought I was going to turn into a furry or something, like so many of you! And here I am turning into the Terminator.

Anyone got mechanical experience? Sure would like your input on how to keep this up. And...in any case...if anyone needs anything, I'm here for you. Robot hands and all.

Comments

UN: hikari-vi| video

[whiteshroud]

[The fuck?]

What the f-

[STOPS HIMSELF THIS IS A PRIEST YOU'RE TALKING TO]

...I'm speechless.

[robopriest]

Hey there, Jun.

[Picking up the arm and waving it. Hey!!]

Remember your language. That was a close one.

[whiteshroud]

[sdkdslfkjsdf]

Sorry Father. But I'm sure the Lord will forgive me when you pop up with robot limbs!

[robopriest]

Just another day in this crazy city. Why not. At least I'm not growing fur.

[whiteshroud]

Do all priests react this calmly to everything or is just you...?

video; un: Astral

[bxbxbxbx]

[All things considered, this is not the most-unsettling thing Kat's seen; that particular honor belongs to the thing that's been her constant companion since the beginning of the month.

Even so, she just kind of looks at her phone's screen for a few moments.

Then she opens her mouth, and—]

I wish I could take my dragon off.

[robopriest]

...

[He's staring.]

Your. Dragon?

[bxbxbxbx]

[She just. Tilts her phone so it's pointing up over her head, and yeah, that absolutely is a dragon head on her head. It's the same pink as her eyes.]

Yeah.

[robopriest]

And it's....attached?

UN: Thorn | video

[poisontippedcure]

And what, pray tell, is a furry?

[robopriest]

[HE OPENS HIS MOUTH.]

[HE CLOSES HIS MOUTH.]

Well. Let's see. How to explain. Someone who gets a little too into identifying with an animal.

all good! she’s full on catlady now

[poisontippedcure]

I’m not sure I follow. I had assumed everyone had a favorite animal. That’s not a bad thing.

[robopriest]

It goes far more than that, I'm afraid.

You know what? Just take a look in the mirror. There's your answer.

video: UN: trienemybest

[droptheious]

Hello!! Hi!! Yes!!! I have mechanical experience!!!

[Enjot the excited teenager on your feed, Hansa.]

I'm happy to help with the upkeep of it! So you didn't have the prosthetics before? Were you just...missing limbs or did you literally go to sleep with your limbs intact?

[robopriest]

Oh! Just the man I need.

[A casual sort of wave.]

I had a hand prosthetic before. Now I have...well. A lot more, as you can see. And yes, I just woke up. It's rather horror movie material to imagine your limbs being lopped off in the middle of the night, huh?

[droptheious]

...That is pretty terrifying, actually. Like...how can your limbs suddenly be removed and replaced while you sleep?

[Just how powerful are...whoever is that runs this place?]

But yeah! I can create my own automatons and robotics, so I should be able to take a look at it. Whatever you need.

[robopriest]

Beats me. Probably...magic? We've got a lot of magic and stuff around here. I don't want to think of the alternative.

[There was no blood when he woke up, so...]

Oh, do you? Smart man. Sure, come on over to the church whenever you want.

un: koromaru

[whatsamada]

I guess telling you do the robot is a bit on the nose, huh?

[robopriest]

[A snort.]

I could, if you ask nicely!

[whatsamada]

[Should he do it?]

Could you do the robot, please?

[Oh, why not? He could use a laugh or two.]

[robopriest]

Suuuure thing.

[He drawls, before propping the phone on the table. He moves to replace his arm with a nice clunk, and then twists in the chair, dropping the arm...and doing the robot, at least while sitting. Hehe.]

Video; un: Opera_Ghost

[not_a_possum]

[A tiny demon comes on screen and just stares for a minute.]

You know, up until recently I probably would be sorry that you had to go through such a transformation without any warning, but considering my recent transformation, I can't help but be a bit jealous.

That's so much better than what I got.

[robopriest]

[He. Blinks! With his one visible eye.]

So you're telling me you didn't always look like this.

[not_a_possum]

Not until earlier this month.

[robopriest]

My condolences.


What are you.