kaisou | video; un: riftdancer

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amal vasiya

video; un: riftdancer

WHO: Amal and whoever!
WHERE: The network
WHEN: The last week of May
WHAT: Amal's long nap is finally over.
WARNINGS: Endwalker spoilers in some threads, if you care about that sort of thing. Mind the CWs on Zelos' thread too (abuse, indentured servitude).

[video]

[Amal is dressed a little differently today. Repping Thavnairian weave and a ribbon in his hair, he's seemingly conquered the incredible bedhead he's nursed for several weeks.]

Hey everyone! Did you think you were rid of me? Sorry to disappoint! Being exceptionally difficult to get rid of is one of my many talents, as it turns out.

My birds are acting like I was dead instead of asleep, when I don't even remember going to bed. But I remember a lot of other things—it was like I was home. Like I never left. Maybe... my body was here while my soul was there? I have no idea, but I'm awake now, and I have every reason to believe what I saw happen... uh, happened.

So. What'd I miss?

[A pause.]

Oh, and what's a BBL? I woke up to a bunch of texts from work asking if I'd 'recovered' yet.

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[Raha coughs into his tea, face very flushed by that little story and looking more than a little embarrassed.]

Ah... that does sound like something I would have done when I was a bit younger...

[he was a smart-assed menace in high school and early college. Graduate school has mellowed him out considerably.]

I'm going to object to the 'smarter and cuter' bit, though. [In a match of 'years of education,' yes, he can absolutely believe that. But being 'smart' is much more than that, and he's really seen nothing from Amal to indicate that he's not intelligent in his own right. And he's definitely not cuter.]

[Amal chuckles softly at Raha's poor embarrassment. He does enjoy teasing him a little, but this is all very true!]

I know how hard it is for Sharlayan scholars to get their tattoos, and you certainly worked hard for yours. Me? Well... I never had the patience for that sort of thing. I got my so-called degree in knowing how to navigate the underbelly of any city.

And, you are very cute, and I won't hear any arguments, unless that argument is that you'd prefer handsome instead.

[He drains his cup and sets it back down.]

It's funny, really—you wanted someone to compete with and I was the perfect target. Then I got over myself and realized just how much I could learn from you. From being like you. You didn't take no for an answer, and you seemed to know who you were and exactly what you were born to do... right up until you left us. You never had a doubt in your mind. When destiny rose up before you, you didn't hesitate to accept it.

[This is Amal's blind spot right here-- thinking G'raha has always known who he was, even though evidence points to the opposite! But it's that strong sense of purpose that Amal envied.]

But... me? I was a ship adrift. I didn't fit anywhere. If there was a purpose for me, I couldn't find one. Everyone else seemed to think I was there to be their savior, so that's what I did... I hoped that if I kept working hard, eventually something would fall into place and I'd feel like the hero they wanted.

Edited 2022-08-02 00:13 (UTC)

[As Amal tells the story, there are parts of it Raha can picture perfectly- likely more memories, even if they manifest as a vivid mental picture. He tilts his head at the part about knowing who he was the whole time, in part because he certainly wouldn't say that's true of himself now and part because something about it doesn't feel right, with what he's remembering, even though that specific evidence is currently absent.

He has more questions about his- about the other him's- part in this story, but there's something else he wants to ask first.]

Did you?

[He rubs at the bottom of his nose. There's a sparkle in his eyes now that G'raha's asked that question.]

What I needed wasn't a purpose, but a home. Once I found that, everything else fell into place naturally.

Home doesn't have to be a... location. For me, it was people. My people are the Scions—my family, really.

[He reaches out to gently poke G'raha's shoulder.]

They're your people, too.

[Raha smiles a little, something in him relaxing a bit as he nods.]

I'm glad you found them.

[Though he is a bit confused, right back to the questions as he tilts his head at the other man.] Though you said I left?

[Boy was that a journey six or seven years in the making.]

You did. [A shadow crosses his expression.]

Remember how I talked about your eyes, and the heavy heritage that came with them...?

When we met, you only had the one red eye. But it was giving you so much pain, and you started to remember things... Some people we met inside the Crystal Tower lent you their own, and then everything came back to you: the princess' wishes and those of her people, and what the tower should have been.

And you realized...

You realized that the Crystal Tower was dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands. We didn't have a way to prevent the Garlean Empire from coming over and taking it, and you were the only person who could control it. So you locked yourself away, and promised that when we could break in using our own technology, that you'd be there waiting for us. You and everything else in the tower would sleep, and wait.

[His face falls.]

And you never saw me again.

... That would have been the end of that story, but you didn't like the ending as it was written. I think no one would blame you.

[Raha's quiet for a moment, thinking with his near empty teacup in hand. This does fit in with what Amal had told him before, and... yes, he can see the logic in the decision. He doesn't know much of the Garlean Empire, aside from them being a self-declared empire, but he can extrapolate what they might do to get the knowledge they want. Locking it away was likely the only way to keep it safe.

But...]

I doubt I would have enjoyed making the decision.

[He can almost feel it, the ache in his heart as the overlarge crystal doors closed, sealing him and the rest of the tower away. He shakes his head a little, looking up to meet Amal's gaze.]

Perhaps I did do it without flinching, but... I would not say I was certain of it. Of that being all I was meant to be. It had to be done, there was no other way. But I think even then, I knew it wasn't the end of my story.

[He feels oddly sure of that, and of what he says next.] Is this where your previous world travelling comes in?

[Amal is quiet for once. Raha seems to be figuring some things out and he doesn't want to get in the way of that. His eyebrows rise as Raha seems very, very sure that he did what he did not without a doubt in his heart but with the hope of there being more to it all.

... Well. He learned something new today, then.]

It takes a very special kind of person to do what you did, and not give up hope all the while. I hope you know that.

[He nods.]

Aye, that it does. And it was all your fault, I might add.

[His tone is light, because the next part is... difficult. He's sure as he talks about it that Raha might remember more, and he might remember how bad things really were. Amal never knew firsthand.]

I only know bits and pieces of your life after you awoke, but the situation was dire. There had been another Calamity—and there were no more sides to the war, only scavengers and isolated groups of people trying to survive in a nearly lifeless world. But you refused to give up. You met Cid's people, and then you found even more who had strived for a better tomorrow. Going back in time wasn't enough to stop this from happening—you'd have to tackle the situation on another world yourself.

So many things could've gone wrong, but you never much cared for the word 'impossible'.

It was on the First that you came into your own power, I think. You had given yourself to the Crystal Tower, and that was what made you [he coughs] some kind of... space wizard. You thought to summon me because I could help, but you kept accidentally kidnapping my friends' souls instead, so you can imagine I was somewhat cross when I finally woke up on the First.

[He scratches at his cheek.]

You were in disguise when I saw you, but... you were so eager to meet me, I felt bad for even thinking about boxing your ears.

Edited 2022-08-02 01:50 (UTC)

[It doesn't trigger as fully as the previous memories had, because Amal knows less and can explain less, but his thoughts go back to the ruined realm and the first place he found that felt a bit too familiar, a stone building crumbling bit by bit. And with it, he now remembers a bit more, the town around it in a similar state of ruin but built up into a base against the broken world, of people trying to put it back together.

He does remember the surprise of somehow summoning a naked Thancred into the Tower, though. He's going to try very hard not to think about that.]

Frankly I'm sure I would have deserved it all the same. [He had continued to think so for... quite a while, after all.]

[Amal is very grateful he was summoned with clothes on. For what value of "clothes" he usually wears, that is.]

I don't think so. [He smiles gently.] You had your reasons and they were good ones. It just didn't come out until later.

[He can tell this weighs on Raha somewhat even if he doesn't have the full scale of the memories associated with it. He considers, and then he covers one of G'raha's hands with his own.]

You went through hells and back. I can't fault you when I would've done the same.

[He looks down for a moment.]

When all of that... happened... I wasn't angry with you. I was—I was so happy in that moment, and so furious at myself. I finally had my friend back but he was going to die and I was powerless to stop it. I think the rest of our friends felt the same.

[Raha has enough of the gist to know he felt deeply responsible for the trouble and worry he caused. But... he can also imagine just how delighted he would have been to see Amal again.

He glances up at the other when their hands touch, surprised but relaxing again quickly, the motion oddly comforting.]

Still, I lied to you.

[Ignoring the fact that he'd literally just forgiven Amal for a very similar lie. There are still big chunks of the story missing, large holes he doesn't quite grasp yet, but... his plan. That he remembers.]

And put you in no small amount of danger as well, it seems. [He doesn't remember the plan going wrong, but if he didn't die, it clearly did somehow.]

Raha...

[He's fighting a smile and failing miserably.]

Maybe you lied to me, but I'm fairly sure I wasn't truthful with you about everything back then... And if you had told the Scions your plan, especially Thancred or Y'shtola, they would've done everything they could to stop you from succeeding. It was an impossible situation—everyone knows that.

[A little thumb rub, personal and familiar.]

Danger is part of the job. I knew everything would turn out.

[Don't you smile at him when he kind of betrayed your trust for the good of the world(s)!!! He looks like he's about to speak up again, but the thumb thumb quiets him, still very human ears a bit pink.]

...And how did it turn out?

Like all the best stories.

[He's almost beaming.]

Light clashed against Darkness, and something was lost but we gained so much more. And at the end of the world, we were both alive—worn and bloodied, but there to greet the dawn. Together.

So, you see... no matter what happens, no matter the circumstances or the reasons, nothing can keep us apart.

One way or another, we will always find our way back to each other. This I believe with my whole heart.

[That really doesn't tell him anything, not in specifics anyway, but... he doesn't really need it, does he? The how isn't that important, just that they did, that even if it all went wrong it still turned out ok, it was still worth it, they still survived.

Together.

He chuckles as he turns towards Amal, a soft smile on his face.]

You make it sound so poetic. [it's not a complaint.]

And yet it is an apt description of the scene. Emet-Selch always had a flair for the dramatic, theatre-loving bastard that he was. He fought with his all and so did we.

[That soft smile is everything to him right now.]

Some time before all of that, when you still thought yourself a dead man, you confided in me that you wanted to go on an adventure. I am happy to say we've had many adventures since, with this one being the most unexpected of them all.

[His amber eyes soften, then dart to the side as he feels his face heat up.]

... If you'll excuse me for a moment, there's something I want to give you.

[Raha does not really have any memories of Emet-Selch, doesn't yet know anything about what happened beyond Amal's arrival, and yet somehow he feels as if they name annoys him all the same.

But he doesn't remember talk of adventure- not from those memories of that far away world, but of this one, fondly talking about how that sounded nice, that he'd like to go on an adventure with Amal if possible... Seems some things change very little.

He's a little surprised as Amal looks away so suddenly, head tilted in curiosity.]

Of course. [He'll even give him a little hand squeeze, before they're certain to have to let go.]

[It's sad that Raha doesn't remember all the promises, or the sparkly-eyed stare he wore when they first stepped into Ishgard in his new old body—but Amal is certain that he will, eventually.

He squeezes that hand back, though, and his fingertips linger just a little too long on the back of Raha's hand before he pulls away.]

I won't keep you waiting too long, I promise.

[He disappears down the hallway into his room. He definitely needs a moment—he is blushing madly. He rubs at his scarlet cheeks as if that might dispel it, takes a deep breath, and then starts going through the box on his vanity. He finds what he's looking for and tucks it safely into his hand, then heads back out to the living room.]

Here... I felt like something was missing.

[He sits down, and opens his palm so that Raha can see the silky sky-blue ribbon wrapped loosely about his fingertips.]

You got the hairclips right. I suppose your tastes haven't changed too much.

[During his absence, Raha takes a deep, calming breath himself, the now near empty and definitely cold mug shifting fitfully between his hands. He's not sure why he feels so flustered- it is just the oddity of the situation, of knowing and not knowing all at once, of only newly meeting someone and yet having known them for years, across time and space? It's not as though he's got much else to compare that specific set of circumstances to... conversations with Rhel haven't yet gotten quite this intense feeling.

He fidgets a little on the couch, waiting and perking up when Amal re-enters, looking down as the little gift is presented.] Oh...

[He reaches out to thread the ribbon between his own fingers, looking over it for a moment before raising his gaze to Amal's again, that same, soft smile almost radiating joy.] Thank you. I suppose... some things really don't change, do they?

[Amal's smile broadens into a sunny grin that's a touch shy. It's a rare, honest smile, not the big fangish mischief he usually displays.]

People are more than the sum of their memories. Even if something washed them all away, you would be you, and I would still be me. I've seen that firsthand.

[He looks down at the ribbon.]

Ah... I can tie it into your braid, if you like. [The angle might be hard for Raha to do it himself.]

Oh, uh-- yes, please.

[He turns a bit to make it easier-- is his face on fire? It feels like his face is on fire.]

[He doesn't notice Raha's blush, too wrapped up in his own thoughts, really... but he shifts around so that he can gently take the man's braid in his hands. He wishes he had a comb. He'd repart this hair, and rebraid it, and make Raha feel as pampered as he deserves.

But for now he simply ties the bow about the end to help hold it all together, giving it a nice fluff so it's perfect, crisp, and striking against that beautiful red hair. It's over far too soon.]

Done. [He settles his hands on his knees.] It's hard for me not to associate that shade of blue with you, if I'm being honest... After everything you went through, you carried a little piece of the Crystal Tower with you. This is hardly that, but the color—it looks good on you.

[It reminds him of Raha's time as the Crystal Exarch, too. Perhaps G'raha saw what happened to him as some ugliness necessary for sacrifice, but Amal was never one to shy away from touching the jeweled hand that had plucked him so gently away from an awful fate.]

[He has his staff back now, though Amal would have no way of knowing that as he's been asleep the whole time, but it doesn't occur to Raha to mention it right now. It's hard for much of anything to occur to him right now, his primary focus being to try to damp down the blush that has definitely made its way to his still-human ears by now.

He turns back when Amal says he's done, his smile still soft and warm with an added bit of shyness to it, since he suddenly feels like everything about him may as well be an open book.]

Thank you. For-- all of that.

[The story, and the ribbon, and... still wanting him here, despite everything. Missing half the story as he is, he's not sure if he should be protesting the sense of care more or not, but even if he were to protest, it's nice to have. It's nice to know that the stain of the Tower was looked on with fondness, rather than distaste.]

[Amal finally notices that Raha is a little red. Maybe he should back off a little—he doesn't want to embarrass him or anything. Or worse-- come on too strong, and push him away. Raha certainly has his shy moments, and sometimes has trouble vocalizing what he wants. But he will get there in time, and whatever he does want—Amal will happily provide.]

I worry I've bored you in the telling, [he says mildly.]

I should be thanking you, though. You haven't run off screaming into the woods yet, or thrown your tea at me and called me a lunatic. Most people have a low tolerance for my kind of weirdness.

[He's spent his whole life being told that he's too much for people and it's a fact he understands, but adding the whole past life thing on top of it is so much... He's ever so grateful for Raha's patience in any universe.]

You haven't, I promise.

[He smiles a little brighter, trying to push past the awkwardness and just settle in the happiness, of being with his friend, and of being able to talk like this.]

I think that would be an extreme reaction, to say the least. I think you're more than tolerable.

[He's teasing a little, but he means it. He can't see why anyone wouldn't like Amal.]

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thavnairian - 2022-08-16 10:16 (UTC) - Expand

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video; un: riftdancer

the children would not be stopped

do re mi to the grave

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