kaisou | 002

002

WHO: Ken Amada
WHERE: Network
WHEN: 5/16
WHAT: Ken trying to avoid thinking about the aftermath of the soccer tournament and wants people to talk to.
WARNINGS: Discussions of death?

Text; un: Koromaru

Has anyone have any good news to hear? I think after everything going on, I really could use something positive right now.

Also, what kind of things are you guys into? I think I might try to gain some new hobbies now that I have the time for it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[As Ken sees the message "ecraig is typing", he might feel an impending feeling of dread.]

I have some. You've been added to a watch list, young man.

@ blackbirdtarot, this is the boy I was talking about. The middle schooler who didn't listen to any of my warnings to stay away from danger and signed themselves up for the soccer game.

Edited 2022-05-16 23:04 (UTC)

[Elliot you are fucking terrifying holy shit.]

more a "hey so how many actual minors do we have here again" list but

dude

this guy is gonna be your teacher next year why would you do that

[He really didn't want this!]

Because I made an error and I was being stupid.

[...]

And I might have gotten overconfident.

well at least you're self-aware. more than most kids your age anyway

but yeah don't fucking do that again kid. if Elliot doesn't do something about it, *I* will

Thanks? I'll take that as a compliment.

But I won't. I doubt anyone would want to try and die again. The last thing I want is to make others worry.

[Oh, he is sensing it alright. The moment he sees the message, the poor boy was at a loss of what to say. Between realizing his mistake and pissing off his future teacher, he didn't know what to do.]

I know and now I'm paying the price for it.

That's right. From now on, you'll only be allowed in the Spirit Realm if an adult or an approved upperclassmen is accompanying you. And you'll also be taking some survival courses if we can get those set up.

[He warned you sensei was more powerful than senpai. He warned you]

Now, how are you feeling? I've seen from some of the others that reviving can take it out of you.

Yes, sir. I promise that I'll only go there with someone and I'll stay out of trouble.

[He really really didn't want to do this. What has he done? Still, there was a considerable pause before he took in a deep breath.]

Honestly? I'm feeling tired and wondering what I should do from here.

Good. Thank you.

[He'll be watching]

If you're feeling tired, then you should rest. You did just return from the dead, so it'd be better to try to take things easy for awhile.

I know it's just...

[How could he explain this? He knows he shouldn't allow himself to be so burden with all of these emotions but at the same time?

He doesn't want to burden someone else with it too.]

It's a terrible feeling letting people down.

It is, yeah.

[He can relate to that one well]

But...it's not like you can go back and undo it. The best you can do is learn from this and keep moving forward. Thankfully, you'll have that chance.

I hope so.

I don't think I have what it takes to deal with my own death at the moment. It's really not something I want to confront so early.

Edited 2022-05-24 22:48 (UTC)

[...]

I don't think you need to deal with it all at this moment. It's something that'll happen over time, little by little.

So...don't worry about that, okay? Just do what you need to do today. Whether that be watch some comforting movies, or sleep, or whatever else you'd like to do.

I suppose but it's difficult. I don't really think I can try to focus on anything else right now.

All I can think about is what happened. I know my senpai would say that I should use this as motivation to get stronger but...

[mumble mumble]

I'm still just a kid.

[...]

Yeah, you are.

But you know, there's nothing wrong with being a kid. It's something everyone goes through, and it's important that they do. Every day you spend as a kid, you're growing and learning about things you'll carry for the rest of your life - even if you don't realize it.

You can't force yourself to be older. When people try? They usually end up missing key things along the way without realizing it and end up being weaker adults for it. I'm sure you don't want that.

So let yourself be a kid. Don't try to focus on how to make yourself stronger or "more adult". Focus on being sad, or scared or angry or whatever things you're feeling. Let yourself process your emotions. You'll be better for it.

Edited 2022-05-29 04:14 (UTC)

[...]

It's a lot easier said than done. Here, I thought I could be a kid and try to act like one. But when you're just so used to acting like an adult, it's kind of difficult to break that habit.

I know I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of but I always thought it would make me a stronger person as I learn from them. I never thought that missing certain things as a kid would make me weaker.

I don't know. Growing up when I'm relearning my childhood is weird.

[Elliot sighs as he reads the response. It reminds him very much of their first conversation, when Ken tried to insist it'd be impossible for him to live any other way but being a soldier. ]

Did I say it would be easy? Of course changing how you live is hard and weird! That's the same for everyone. And it sounds like you've been through a lot as well. It's hard to just undo all that, I know.

But just because something is hard or weird, doesn't mean it's impossible. It just takes time.

I just worry about you Ken. You're so young, but you sound like you're already writing yourself off to the rest that life has to offer.

Edited 2022-05-31 16:01 (UTC)

[There was a very long pause. For a moment, he debated if he should explain why to someone he just met. But at the same time, he also knows not to hold everything in.

With that, he gave a sigh.]

That's because I already did. Or at least, I did in the past. I always thought that I would be working with my senpais fighting whenever they needed me.

It's only now that I'm trying to live for myself after 6 years. It's just frustrating as I keep finding myself doing the things I told myself I wouldn't do.

[6 years...that's a really long time to be involved in such dangerous things, especially at his age.

Just who were these senpai? ]

I see. You must care an awful lot about these senpais of yours.

Look...it's not easy to change things right away. Sometimes you'll backslide, or you'll fall into old habits. I know I catch myself doing that. Just try to be patient with yourself. You seem very serious.

And we can try to help out too. We might not be your senpais, but there's still people who care about you.

[People who should have realized that having an 8 year old be involved in supernatural stuff wasn't the greatest idea.]

I have to be serious. Or at least, I used to be until recently. Learning how to take care of yourself for 6 years makes you be super serious about a lot of things!

I sure hope so. I know I just got here but it feels like I have made some friends. Even if we just yet, I hope that they care enough about me.

Yeah...you're right. I suppose that'd make anyone super serious if they were in your shoes.

[six years of taking care of himself. It's not right. Ken was a kid. Even for all his dad's pushing for him to be ultra self-sufficient, it wasn't that extreme. ]

I'm sure they do. Sometimes you don't need to know someone a long time to click. Sometimes you meet the right people and it just happens right away.

And I'm more of a teacher than a friend, but I care about you.

Well, I'll say this. Even though I just met you, I'd like to think we're clicking pretty well.

[Elliot can't see or hear it but Ken was chuckling to himself right now.]

So thank you for caring enough about me.

Eheh, aw. I'm glad you think so! I hope you feel that way after we start music lessons.

And really, you don't have to thank me for that. [It's normal to care about people!!]

...I'm sure I will.

[Why no, this isn't Ken being a little nervous and wondering what he got himself into. What are you talking about?]

[Rip Ken. It probably won't be as bad as fighting monsters???

Maybe. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

002

UN: ecraig

un: blackbirdtarot

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject