video | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

WHO: Caleb and you
WHERE: Gemini
WHEN: Early September
WHAT: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene~ I'm begging of you STOP TAKING MY CARS
WARNINGS: tired raccoons

[First is a video from what looks like a security camera or maybe just a phone, because the angle is weird. Either way, it is of Caleb's driveway. There is a nice SUV there, bought by Gilgamesh, as well as signs of his and March's Pokemon (mostly toys and training stuff for March's Kubfu). There are also, scattered about, half-done "crafts".]

Bwa?

[It looks like the Creations have Caleb's phone, and going by the wizard hat the one that spoke had on they were gonna film something. But they have been distracted because you see, there is someone approaching the house. She is gorgeous, with flaming locks of auburn hair, ivory skin, and eyes of emerald green. Her beauty is beyond compare, her smile as soft as summer rain.

Her desire to steal things unmitigated. She walks up to Caleb's nice SUV, opens the driver side door without a problem, starts the car, and drives off. As she does, you can hear the house's front door open behind the Creations and Caleb yelling.]

[That clip ends and we are now faced with one exhausted raccoon staring into his phone.]

I need to get the Creations their own video camera...and a new car. Again. And maybe security to monitor my car. Why does this keep happening to me...

Comments

text; un: AUO; 1/2

[throwmoreswords]

[ sometimes you're minding your business, briefly checking on social media before you go back to your adult employment where you check the business-relevant social media and

then something hits you that just. baffles. amuses. tweaks the pride. Gilgamesh stares for a long, long moment. ]

text; un: AUO; 2/2

[throwmoreswords]

what the fuck

text

[actnormal]

I am SO sorry Gil I swear the door was locked but she just. Stole my car! Again!

[throwmoreswords]

For one, kill her.

Two, police report.

Three.

Do you have work today?

[actnormal]

Murder is a last resort but I've reported it.

I did but. Uh. Well.

text; un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

do you need to borrow the regalia for a while or.....??

[actnormal]

I am not borrowing the regalia that car scares me. What if I scratch the paint?! ＼(º □ º l|l)/

[illucesco]

ok so not to alarm you but the last time i was in that car in a past life the old girl almost managed to survive being driven through an active warzone while missiles were trying to blow it up.

the point is it's seen worse than a couple paint scratches.

[actnormal]

[. . .]

Noct was your past life okay?

video; un: photocutie

[trailblazingspirit]

She came back? And no one told me?

[wait]

Again?!

[actnormal]

[Thank you for focusing on the important part....after a moment.]

Again!

[trailblazingspirit]

How are you going to get anywhere?! Is it back to the bike?

[actnormal]

No, Gil saw. He's sending something over.

video; un: absolutenumber

[mediocrites]

...How utterly brazen.

[He sounds more impressed and fascinated than disapproving.]

I don't have any particular advice on security systems, but if you like I can send you some information on educational enrichment toys suitable for the Creations. With three of them in the house, I've had to put some resources into keeping them entertained.

[actnormal]

Please. I've got three of them too and I am running out of ideas. Googling "activities for smart cats" just gets me like. Treat toys.

[mediocrites]

The trick is to treat them less as cats, and more as if they're small children with active minds but limited manual dexterity.

[He'll send along a few links to child-safe science experiment kits.]

After the advent calendar incident at the end of last year, we determined that their interest in scientific experimentation has carried over from that other life. Or at least that their inherent curiosity manifests in similar ways.

[actnormal]

...do I want to know about the advent calendar incident?

[But he will take that link yep.]

video: un:trienemybest

[droptheious]

Wait, it happened again?

Okay, Caleb, are you absolutely sure you didn't do anything to her because this is starting to feel like a really complex revenge plot against you.

[actnormal]

I don't even know her! I wanna know where she took my other car!

[droptheious]

Well, she clearly knows you! So she has to have a reason for targeting you all the time, right? Even if you didn't do anything yourself and it's some crazy reason.

[actnormal]

Maybe she thought I cut her off in traffic one time? Or I wasn't fast enough to deliver something...?

voice; un: Mr. ColdFeet

[anyprice]

....

I don't know if I should be impressed or upset.

[actnormal]

Why impressed?

[anyprice]

That she has the balls to mess with one guy so many times.

She's gonna' get into trouble one day!!

[actnormal]

I think if it happens again, Gil may just kill her. So...