kaisou | In My Heart's a Memory

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In My Heart's a Memory

WHO: Harumasa and close CR
WHERE: Fortress of Meropide
WHEN: Beginning of August
WHAT: Harumasa has to share bad news with his close friends and family.
WARNINGS: Terminal illness

CW: TERMINAL ILLNESS

[Harumasa is understandably nervous to even broach the subject, even after calling everyone here. He's been sitting on this news for about two weeks. However... it feels more wrong to keep this information from them. They're people who have grown close to him or are reconnected family. Despite all the odds stacked against him, they're all going to miss him. That's not really what he wants, but that's just the truth of the matter.

It's just better to gather everyone together so that he only has to say this hopefully once. If Wise or the other members of Section 6 arrive... well. He'll just have to cross that bridge when he gets there.

He's smiling and greeting everyone cheerfully enough as they arrive. Although there's a sadness that taints his normally good cheer, he's still genuine in his friendliness. Once everyone has entered and gotten themselves settled, Harumasa waves to get their attention.]

Hey~! Thanks for coming! I know I called everyone with the promise of news from my doctor now that the tests have all been completed. So, I'll just cut to the chase out of respect for everyone's time.

[Harumasa pauses for a moment before taking a deep, fortifying breath.]

Just a recap so we're all on the same page, the condition I have is Elemental Aptitude Regression Syndrome and it's a congenital disease. I was born with it in my heart and lungs, and some things happened in my past that has made it pretty difficult to treat normally. It's also a terminal condition. There's no known cure.

Most people diagnosed with it don't make it past childhood. Symptoms occur when there's an overabundance of spiritual or elemental energy. Normally, people with this condition would go to as spiritually dead places as they can, but eventually even the smallest traces become lethal. However... because of aforementioned things in my past, I'm highly dependent on being in places with high spiritual energy while it still continues to act like a poison to my body.

I've been seeing a specialist ever since I came here, and she gave me the final results.

[The young man has been going strong up until this point. There's a moment, a split second, where the genial expression on his face cracks. Just a split second of terrible sadness. Not for his own sake, but for how everyone else will handle it. Harumasa has had his entire life to come to terms with it. This is going to be a lot.

He sighs softly and he takes a more serious expression.]

I've now hit the decline to the end stage of Elemental Aptitude Regression Syndrome. The leading theory is that it was triggered by the health attacks I've had for two months straight, but especially after Jumanji. The evil presence of that game really wrecked my body when it was already weak from the influx of spiritual energy. Just to be totally clear, I don't blame a single solitary person for this happening. It was just bad luck and this might have still happened anyway.

[Harumasa crosses his arms lightly. Although he gives these details matter-of-factly, there's still a gentleness and kindness that softens his tone.]

Currently, they're estimating that I have maybe a year left minimum since we caught it so early. If I'm lucky, I'll have two years. Though, the being possessing me is confident he can give me that time provided nothing else goes catastrophically wrong.

[Again, he pauses for a moment.]

So... I'll open the floor to questions about what it's gonna look like for me from here on or whatever you guys wanna ask me in general. Don't worry, after the question round, I'll leave you guys alone to talk amongst yourselves and process all of this without me here to overhear anything. I promise, it won't hurt my feelings.

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[Harumasa is sticking around to answer any questions that others may have. His disposition is relatively calm with a slight smile on his face, but there's a shadow of sadness in his eyes. He knows that this is very hard for everyone to hear and he won't make light of that.]

[As promised, after the questions are done, he will leave the room to let everyone process and discuss amongst themselves. Or argue. He's not here to stop anything.]

[However, if anyone wants to speak to him alone later, they won't find him in the Meropide at all. There's a note on his door that says, "Lighthouse," but nothing else. As promised on the note, Harumasa can be found at the top of the lighthouse in the harbor. He's leaning forward with his arms resting on the rail as the sea breeze ruffles his hair and lifts up the loose ends of his yellow headband. Harumasa will smile on seeing someone has decided to join him, but he remains quiet with his gold eyes looking out towards the horizon.]

[Jun had been quiet through the discussion. He had mostly hung around in the back, remaining silent as the others asked questions and discussed matters. If he spoke up, it was mostly at occasional moments when he felt he had something to add to the conversation. Otherwise... he took the news in silence.

In truth... there'd been part of him that'd suspected something was up since the hospital. There was nothing overt... just little changes in Haru's behavior and demeanor that gave Jun a sense of unease, a sense that something was off. Part of him had hoped he was just imagining it... but, this only confirmed that feeling.

He waits until the after discussion is over before heading off to track down his brother. His senses had told him Haru wasn't even in the fortress right now, so he didn't even try going to his door to check. Instead... he had a good idea where he'd be. So he teleports there, coming in with a flash of blue light. He'll walk over, sitting down with his legs over the edge while his arms hang onto the rail. He's quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to start.]

How are you feeling? Now that that's done.

Edited 2025-08-09 20:58 (UTC)

[Harumasa is happy to stay in the silence as Jun thinks about it. He's not all that surprised to see his little brother. At the question, the young man will give it some thought. A real analysis of his current emotional state.]

Honestly? I feel a bit lighter. I've been carrying that news for too long, but I had to wait until this last test.

However... I think mostly I just feel... a little anxious, but a little more at peace, too. Now that I have a more definitive time frame. While I don't necessarily like it, I have longer than I ever would've thought I'd have. I plan to make the absolute most of it.

[He tilts his head at his little brother.]

How about you?

[It's not news to Varian that Harumasa is sick. It's not even news to him just how sick he is. It's a deeply unpleasant knowledge, but its one he has all the same. He's also noticed Haru getting sicker- Jumanji especially was an indicator that something was desperately wrong.

But the literal deadline dropped in front of them is something else. Just a horrible, frightening finality. But what sticks in Varian's chest like a dagger is how Haru just seems to accept it. He looks around the room, brow furrowed, before shaking his head lightly.

No. Absolutely not.]

Okay, so what do we do now? If medicine has gone as far as it can go? We're in a unique position here, we've got people from- from so many different worlds who might know something that can stop this. Is it time to appeal to the network at large? Because it feels like it's time now.

[Viktor had listened throughout the explanation in silence, expression inscrutable as he fidgeted slightly with the crutch leaning against his shoulder. There simply wasn't much to say, and he of all people knew that better than most. Denial or overblown worry would be less than useless at best and infuriating at worst. The situation simply was what it was, no matter how much Harumasa and everyone else in the room might hate it.]

Thank you for telling us. [When he finally spoke up, it was with nothing more or less than a quietly calm acceptance.] I do not really have anything to ask, except...what can we do for support in the meantime? Not the easiest question, I realize, but... [A small tilt of his head that seemed to signal 'you know everyone here will want to do something'.]

[He'll look up at his brother quietly as he speaks, considering before giving a little nod]

... I could see that. A year or two is more generous than I thought it'd be.

[Was it great? No. It's still a painfully short time limit. But Jun had been expecting only a few months- maybe even shorter. At least now... Haru could still do some things he wants to do, and the others.... they had time to deal with this. Whether it be finding a cure, or just coming to terms with everything... at least they had that time.

In a way, Jun was lucky. He's been having that time to come to terms with this since Harumasa came to Kaisou. So he's calm, giving a shrug at the question]

I'm alright. You've been acting like something was on your mind since the hospital, so I had a feeling this was coming. [Because what else COULD it have been?

There's a pause, before he decides to say the thing he know he couldn't possibly say in front of the others]

... So we're clear, I'm not going to try to save your life.

[Eventually, the tranquility was broken by the approaching hum of some kind of propulsion engine approaching from the base of the lighthouse; its source a colossal Golurk that gently set down its trainer safely on the platform a short distance from Harumasa. Viktor gave the automaton's arm a grateful pat before recalling it, and glancing to Harumasa with a thin smile, settling to sit down with his back to the lighthouse itself.]

[Silence passed for a length of time most would probably have found uncomfortable, punctuated by the sounds of the vast ocean just beyond. Until, finally:]

...You know, they would all turn over every last corner from here to every spirit realm within reach in search of a solution if you asked.

[Harumasa can't say he's surprised that Varian wants to try to fix this. He knows exactly the lengths that he'll go through for the people he loves. So, he's going to just be honest and understanding.]

Truth be told, I don't know what to do now. There are definitely things that I still need to do, and the increased dosage to manage my worsening symptoms is going to take some adjusting.

Plus, I know that I'll be taking the month off to rest and heal. I need it, my doctors and Sunshine have made that very clear. It's gonna take time to purge the rest of the game's evil from my body absorbing it.

[He pauses for a moment.]

So, I guess my thought is that we still have enough time to take this month off to really think about it, and also to mend our bodies. And... I still need to think about whether or not to get the network at large involved. How we tell them, how much we tell them, if we even mention my name.... I don't wanna make a hasty decision for something as important as that.

[When Harumasa broke the news, Ragna was uncharacteristically silent. He was ready at all times to start screaming, throwing punches, cursing the world, calling someone stupid. But he said nothing. When he finally left as comments and possibly arguments arose, he just said one thing.

"Later."

Which could mean a lot, really. But it was a promise of return at least. Or something like it.

That return came a long while after Harumasa had went to the Lighthouse. He'd probably gotten used to the quiet, peaceful solitude before Ragna made his way up on the wind, acknowledging Harumasa with a gesture of his head and joining him in that silence.

... Deep down, he wanted to lash out. He wanted to shout and dispute and hate the world and destroy it for making someone he cared about suffer. Twice no less. His sister, if she was even alive anymore, suffered from this. He knew the deterioration. He knew the signs. He knew as intimately as one could without having the illness himself.

He knew those nights crying when thinking about the very real possibility that he'd wake up one morning to find Saya lifeless in her bed. But he couldn't show how scared he was of that as Niisama.

He can't let on how scared he is now to a man who has made peace with it.

As someone himself who has made peace with the short time he has... maybe that's why he cannot accept it for someone else.

Despite all that was done by a light in both their lives to keep them going for longer, it wouldn't be enough.

No, Ragna can't accept that. Not without using every minute the both of them had left to find a way for Harumasa's dream to come true.

For Asaba Harumasa to live.

So, after another long silence.

With all of the conviction in his heart. With all the determination his past "Grim Reaper" self and his current "North Wind" self had.

Ragna just said one thing. Quiet. Calm. Steady. Honest.]

I'm not going away any time soon.

["I'm not giving up on you."

Not until the very end.

Until the very end.]

Edited 2025-08-09 21:59 (UTC)

[He truly appreciates Viktor's calm and understanding in this moment. The tacit understanding in that question is one Harumasa can very easily pick up on.]

It's a fair question all the same. For this month, I'm not allowed to use magic at all and my mobility is temporarily restricted. I'll need some help moving around the Meropide, for starters, and probably some help getting to your place, Viktor. But I'll text you if I need to be virtual for a session.

[Harumasa pauses for a moment to consider.]

Anything that can help me stay a little independent would be really appreciated. While I'm certain everyone here is more than capable of helping me do the everyday household tasks, I know that can be a lot to ask.

Of course. [He did, at least, manage a thin smile. Viktor didn't have so hard-set a deadline yet, but he certainly knew what it was like to hear one.] I can send Blitzcrank as transportation any time, and if you are more comfortable attending remotely that can be done just as easily.

[Harumasa can't help smiling at that.]

Guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought it was. Ah, well. I'm sorry if I worried you, still.

[He pauses, and he looks down at his brother. Harumasa knows exactly what this is in reference to. So... even if it's strange, he smiles with genuine warmth.]

Thank you. I really, genuinely appreciate that.

[He said that he wanted a brother when this time finally came. He's... selfishly really glad that Jun remembered and has decided to just be here for him instead of looking for a cure that might not exist. Harumasa's hope is cautious in that regard, and he just wants to make absolutely sure he doesn't bitterly regret how he's spent his time.

Harumasa does feel guilty that this might be hard on Jun, but....]

I'm really lucky to have you as a brother.

[Harumasa returns the smile, and also waves at the Golurk like an old friend. Just a small greeting to the Pokemon.

To most, this silence would be uncomfortable. For him, it's simply a moment of peace and patience. Either Viktor will talk to him or he'll remain here as a silent companion. Both options are understandable.

When it's broken by that statement, he remains quiet for a few seconds longer.]

Yeah... it's a strange feeling. I'm so used to handling all this by myself and not getting too close to people. It's... almost surreal to have people so willing to support me.

[Another moment of quiet before his voice turns gentle.]

But you know I won't ask, huh? Not directly, anyway. ... I guess I just don't want my family to view the "hunt for a cure" as something I'll resent them for if they don't find anything. You know?

That's gonna be the coolest mode of transportation ever~! [Despite everything, Harumasa is still able to find sincere joy. And maybe that's something to feel a little more hopeful about.] No matter what, I'm not giving up hanging out with our little gathering of weirdo nerds. The hi-jinks are just way too fun!

[Plus, it'll help him feel less lonely. It gives him something else to look forward to as a bright spot.]

Of all the adjustments I have had to make these past years, I think that might remain the most difficult. [A soft, bitter laugh.] Self-sufficiency is just in our nature, it would seem.

[When one grew up with nothing, one learned not to expect help from anyone but themselves.]

...Of course you won't. But I do not think anyone should fault you whether you asked or not. [He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, with a quiet and ragged-sounding sigh.] ...I'm afraid I was never so selfless as that, personally.

I would be irreparably crushed if you were to miss what I have planned for the end of the campaign. And surely you are not so cruel as to leave me alone with the rest of these lunatics. [and lycaon, who has done nothing wrong]

[Varian is a fixer. By his very nature he is unable to do nothing, to accept there's nothing to be done- not when there's the slightest, tiniest hint of hope. Hell, even when all hope is gone, Varian will fight through. He does not give up- doubly so when someone he loves is involved in it. ]

Good. That's... a step at least. Something to buy as much time as we can. And yeah no kidding you need to rest and heal. The last two months have been awful. You need to give yourself time where you're not getting into... anything. Just enough to rest.

[But naturally, Varian doesn't afford himself the same consideration. They have a timer now, and Varian will be damned if he wastes any of it. He understands Haru wanting to take time on how to reach out to the network, but taking the month off? Not for him. Absolutely not.]

I still think that's the right way to go, but okay. If you need time for it, that's... fair. You do need to rest. [He rubs the back of his head, thinking. ] There are extensive libraries around the city - especially Cygnus and Meropide. I can start looking through them- see if other worlds have any mention about anything similar to your own disease. There's got to be something there. Something to start off from.

[Jun will give him a little shrug of his shoulders, an attempt to make a joke]

No adult binge-watches an entire season of Hamtaro without interruption unless there's something truly wrong. You didn't even try to be polite and offer us a chance to something else. [There were other signs, but man that was a huge tip-off] I don't think the others caught on, if it helps.

[He doesn't address that apology besides a dismissive click of his tongue. He didn't need an apology about worrying for his brother. Of course he's going to worry him. That's part of the deal.

He'll look out at the water ahead of them, at the distant horizon.]

It's what you wish. And I know I'd be more useful at your side, making sure you don't have to go through this alone, rather than gallivanting the Spirit Realm looking for a miracle.

[He knows the others feel different, especially Varian. Varian will definitely run himself ragged for awhile, looking for a way to solve this. For now... Jun won't interfere with that. Varian needs to come to terms with this on his own... and who knows, maybe he will find a miracle Jun couldn't. ]

I do have some magic flowers to pass onto everyone. Those glowing lilies in my garden? I figured out how to grow them domestically, and maybe someone like Baizhu can make some use of them. But after that...

Whatever you need of me, I'm here.

[Jun is sitting near his partner, not surprised that he's immediately jumping to try to work out ways to fix it. It's how Varian deals with these things, it's part of who he is.

And in fact when Varian mentions research mode, he'll decide to give his own two sense. ]

.... POKEGO's database has some research on Elemental Aptitude Regression Syndrome. I read through it after Haru arrived here, to re-familiarize myself with his condition. [What it'd been a decade and he was only 11 when he last saw his brother, he needed a review] I can send you the link to you later.

It was pretty thorough overview, I was really impressed. Unfortunately, it seemed like the researcher passed away before he could make any breakthroughs.

[So there's no point in trying to track that guy down]

[Harumasa gasps dramatically... and then casually slumps over the railing. He's going to joke as well. A little bit of something normal when everything feels wrong.]

That's so rude, but so true. That's not fair! I hope the theme song shows up in your nightmares.

[Ah, Jun's a good kid. He's always known and believed that, but it's moments like these that really drive the fact home.]

... I always thought I'd be alone during this time, you know? But I'm glad that's not the case. Having you here makes it a lot more bearable.

[Harumasa gives him a curious look, but he nods. He remembers those glowing flowers. They always made him think of the sun for some reason, and Apollo very much loves to look at them. Small wonder.]

That sounds good. Baizhu's been the best pharmacist I've ever had, so I trust him to find something interesting with those.

[He smiles, though.]

I think right now, I just wanna enjoy the sun and the breeze with my little brother.

[Harumasa is honestly surprised to hear that POKEGO even has an entry for it, let alone a dedicated researcher looking into the disease. That's such a narrow field of research, too.

A long-buried hope he didn't realize had been there sparks for a moment. Until Jun says that the researcher passed away. Just as quickly, that bright candle flame of hope is snuffed out.]

... Huh.... Do you happen to have the researcher's name? I didn't think POKEGO would at all be interested in researching a condition like that.

[Despite the weight of the situation, or perhaps because of it, Jun snorts at his brother's dramatics. Leave it to them to try to cope through dark times with humor, just like when they were kids]

Oh, it has. The other night? I was having a dream about running a labyrinth, but the Elder Greed was a giant anime hamster.

[He was having a delightful dream about greed fighting and your hamsters RUINED it]

Ah, you know Baizhu? That's good- Ragna mentioned his name, but I was planning to have August run a reading on him to make sure he was legit. But if you know and trust him, that makes it easier.

[Haru is just as paranoid as him when it came to medical physicians. So if Haru trusts him? That's good enough for Jun.

As for the remark about ding this along, Jun will make a thoughtful sound ]

Mm... Maybe that's the miracle. Being able to find each other while there was still time. I know I've really enjoyed these past seven months. [He'll treasure them, just like he'll treasure the time they do have left]

But sure, that sounds nice. Usually I sit out like this during the night, so doing it during the day would be a good change of pace.

[ Varian immediately perks up at his partner's offering. He's energized by a potential lead, something he can DO! He's nodding and grabbing his notebook from his back to scribble this information down in it. Because god forbid he use notes app like a normal person. ]

That's great!!!! Thank you. That's a great starting point. If nothing else, they should have references to their work, so I can backtrack and see where they got their own research from- even if they have passed. Research will still be there. This is a fantastic paper trail to start with.

[He's making so many notes! ]

And yes, a name would be great!

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In My Heart's a Memory

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